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My 19 month old is starting to show signs that I am working too much...

babysteenababysteena
in Working Moms

My husband goes to school, so he is with our son most of the day.  Our son goes to DC for 4 hours a day, 4 times a week, then daddy picks him up (I drop him off and am with him a couple of hours in the morning ( 6:40amish to 8:30am) )

Recently, my son has not been consoleable with me, he wants my husband... it breaks my heart.    Last night, I was cuddling with my husband on the couch, and my son comes up and tries to push me off of him.. and then when I refused to move, he started crying and tried to climb onto my husbands lap.. basically saying "this is my daddy.. don't touch him.."   At first I thought it was kinda cute, but it is starting to bother me because I don't want him to love one parent more than another, etc.   He also gives my husband kisses, but refuses to kiss me. I feel awful!!!     I can't stop working because my husband is in school.. and I only work 40 hours a week, not even a minute more.   We are also expecting our 2nd child in May, when our son will be 2.. I have a feeling it will get a LOT worse then :(

 Is this normal?  Any advice? 

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Re: My 19 month old is starting to show signs that I am working too much...

  • twopeasinapodtwopeasinapod

    I pick my son up from daycare and drop him off.  My husband works 7 days a week some weeks and only sees son 20 minutes in the morning when he wakes up in the morning.  Weekends are all me because husband is at work.

    Son STILL wants Daddy more than mommy.  If we're in the same room and he hurts himself, he runs to daddy for comfort.

    I think it's just a man lovin' phase :)   I wouldn't worry.  Sometimes I also think we look for things that aren't there out of guilt.  I do that every once in a while.

    Just wait until next month - he'll change. 


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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
    It's a phase. Kids go through phases where they prefer one parent over the other. He's not doing it to hurt you. It's normal.
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  • babysteenababysteena
    imagetwopeasinapod:

    I pick my son up from daycare and drop him off.  My husband works 7 days a week some weeks and only sees son 20 minutes in the morning when he wakes up in the morning.  Weekends are all me because husband is at work.

    Son STILL wants Daddy more than mommy.  If we're in the same room and he hurts himself, he runs to daddy for comfort.

    I think it's just a man lovin' phase :)   I wouldn't worry.  Sometimes I also think we look for things that aren't there out of guilt.  I do that every once in a while.

    Just wait until next month - he'll change. 

     thank you SOOO Much for that post.. It made me feel a ton better knowing that it isn't me working too much that is causing him to act this way.  I am fine with him going through a "daddy phase" :o)  I can't wait until he shows mommy the same love.

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  • katesmom73katesmom73
    I went through 3 years of this with my dd.  In my case, both my dh and I work - my dd just preferred him over me.  It was not fun but around age 3 or so, she started to prefer us equally. 
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  • trinnytrinny member

    sounds like normal behavior to me.  My DD has gone through phases where she has a favorite.  For awhile it was me, then it was DH, now she has different things that she prefers me to do or him to do (I put her to bed, he gets her breakfast, etc).

    I think there's a tendency to blame yourself or daycare for behaviors (I always see-- "LO used to STTN and then I went back to work!" when it could be daycare or a growth spurt or anything, babies change), but give yourself a break. Your DS still loves you and needs his mommy!

    When LO 2 was here, it did get worse-- DD wouldn't ask me for as much, and it was upsetting, but it is also upsetting for me to not be able to because I'm taking care of her bro.  It isn't forever though and I do try to carve out time for just us.

    GL!

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  • katypressonkatypresson
    My DS is the exact same way except he favors me instead of DH.  We spend the same amount of time with him and he still does this.  It kills my DH but I think it's normal for LO's to favor one parent over the other.  In a couple months it could switch and he'll favor you instead.  Just a phase.  Don't take it personally.  You're his mom and he loves you just as much as DH!
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  • jenuinejenuine
    I vote that it is a phase. Check with your provider to see what they think. And don't let working mom guilt get to you!
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  • DTNZ4EverDTNZ4Ever member
    DS has been this way with DH too. He has also picked my Mom over me too lately she watches DS one day a week it breaks my heart. But I know in a few weeks I probably won't be able to be out of his sight. It is a total phase.
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  • xmasbabymamaxmasbabymama
    I think it is just a phase. I am the preferred one for DD and I know it bothers DH, but there isn't anything I can do about it. She is all lovey up on me and then tells DH "Daddy stop" when he comes near. Or if he tries to kiss or snuggle too much with me, she starts to defend me. It stinks for you, but I would try not to take it personally.
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