First and ONLY baby?

katkat74 · December 2010

This far into your pregnancies how man of you would say this will be your first and only baby? And for those of you who are on their second, third, etc? --How many of you thought NEVER again before getting pregnant again? Every morning I wake up

I keep thinking...how will I explain to my little guy that he is an only child? I honestly cannot imagine going down this road a second time ...ESPECIALLY after I bust my A$$ to get the weight off post baby.

StephieLM · December 2010

You can't imagine having another baby because you wouldn't want to shed a few pounds again? Hmm....it seems very worth it to me. To each their own.

*sallymad* · December 2010

We always wanted 3-4 kids but now we're going to stop after two kids and dh is going to get "fixed". I can honestly say that I never ever want to do this again, and not just for my sake. For the sake of all the poor people around me who have to deal with b*tchyness and feeling like crap 24/7.

Hyfagal · December 2010

We're pretty sure this will be our only baby. We struggled with IF for two years to get pregnant and so far it's been a complicated pregnancy with my pelvic injury and now pre-eclampsia. The issues with both the pelvic injury and both of our fertility issues only get worse with age so we're considering her a blessing and leaving it at that. We may change our minds but we are completely happy with her right now.

SarahTx5701 · December 2010

as truly awful as my first pregnancy was I always knew I'd go through it again for another.

This one, I dont feel as awful, but it's because I am on bedrest for 13 weeks and not having to get up and move around and deal with everything, which I think had helped my blood pressure stay under control this time. As hard as bedrest is, emotionaly, physcailly, financially, I know the outcome is worth it.

I have to speak to the doctor about a disorder I may have and whether or not I should even try again, but as much as this sucks....I am even thinking down the road I may do a 3rd child. Crazy.

You tend to forget the troubles and aches and pains. It's weird.

ang.ela23 · December 2010

StephieLM:
You can't imagine having another baby because you wouldn't want to shed a few pounds again? Hmm....it seems very worth it to me. To each their own.

my thoughts exactly.

katkat74 · December 2010

No, not the weight exclusively. I left out that I have not had an "easy" pregnancy thus far...thankfully no GD, Pre -E or anything like that. But I do have pregnancy gingivitis so severe that I have to have gum surgery post baby, I have had migraines,antenatal depression (which I have chosen not to medicate and just to tough out) ,morning sickness,pregnancy carpal tunnel, heart palpitations, hip pain and so on. Didn't want to have to list it all but evidently I have to otherwise I get comments such as yours thinking it is only about the weight and it certainly isn't. Also, I am considered advanced maternal age at 36 presently.

I am beyond thankful to be pregnant but just curious if others are contemplating a second go around or not.

mrsfaz2be · December 2010

We plan to have two kids, possibly three. I am an only child and always wished for a brother or sister growing up, although it wasnt horrible being an only child since that is all you know. However, I always wanted to have a big family and this pregnancy has not been that bad soo far.. I would like to wait a few years before starting for another though, I do not want to have 2 under 2 (although if it happens, then I will consider it another blessing).

lizsites · December 2010

Eh. We talked about it long before getting pregnant, and decided that one was our limit. We just want one to love on and spoil, and besides, college tuition for more than one will be too expensive. hehe!

I was in SO much pain the other night I was crying, and told DH "If I ever pull that 'I want another baaaaby' crap, remind me of RIGHT.NOW."

MandaBeth26 · December 2010

After my the birth of my daughter, my first child, I seriously did not want more children. However, I believe that I felt that way because I was in a very bad relationship (we split shortly after she was born). I'm now having another child six years later with my new husband and I don't regret it. After the baby is born, you seriously forget about all the aches and pains and are just focused on your beautiful baby.

locash · December 2010

Pregnancy is a PITA and so is losing weight after. But neither of those would be enough to make my family planning decisions for me.

Now, if you were experiencing severe issues, I'd give you a pass for not doing it again. My sister had a horrible pregnancy, but wanted a second, so she did it again. She would like a third, but her body just won't be able to handle it.

Maybe you'll get some perspective when your LO is born.

*sallymad* · December 2010

lizsites:
I was in SO much pain the other night I was crying, and told DH "If I ever pull that 'I want another baaaaby' crap, remind me of RIGHT.NOW."

Dh offered to video tape me last night saying I never want to be pregnant again and why, then when I think I want a 3rd kid he'll play it for me. LOL

spursgirl10 · December 2010

I loved being pregnant the first time. I love being pregnant this time. But with my first his dad and I split up shortly after his 1st birthday so I figured that was it. I had no intentions of ever having children again. I was single, career bound and happy. Then I met my H and he wanted kids so we tried. But nothing was happening so we figured that was that. I had numerous miscarriages. I figured one was all I was gonna ever have and I was totally fine with that. THEN I got pregnant at the beginning of this year and it was a pleasant surprise. I was shocked and scared but I am so in love with her already I can't wait to meet her. It makes me sad that she might be my last one, but I thought that before. So we shall see.

Quesera · December 2010

We have decided that we are one and done, but never say never! This has nothing to do with us struggling w/ infertility and loss, or a difficult pregnancy and everything to do with practical reasons. I am 35, DH is 40 and we just don't feel like we have the time, energy or financial resources to provide for more than one child.

I would like to retire comfortably one day and I just can't imagine doing that if we have to support another kid, or god forbid we have one that has some challenges that require more than the normal output of cash or time. There are some other selfish reasons, I will admit that I am not totally nuts with the idea of giving my entire body and life over for 9 months again. I am looking forward to regaining some of my former self, travelling with DH and friends etc.

Erin0922 · December 2010

I personally HATE being pregnant. I'm just not the "glowing" type. However, I always wanted four kids, and DH only wanted 2. So we compromised.

We have SS, Drew, and now we will have Adie. So, a nice middle ground of 3 kids. And I only have to go through pregnancy twice! WIN for everyone!

locash · December 2010

katkat74:

No, not the weight exclusively. I left out that I have not had an "easy" pregnancy thus far...thankfully no GD, Pre -E or anything like that. But I do have pregnancy gingivitis so severe that I have to have gum surgery post baby, I have had migraines,antenatal depression (which I have chosen not to medicate and just to tough out) ,morning sickness,pregnancy carpal tunnel, heart palpitations, hip pain and so on. Didn't want to have to list it all but evidently I have to otherwise I get comments such as yours thinking it is only about the weight and it certainly isn't. Also, I am considered advanced maternal age at 36 presently.

I am beyond thankful to be pregnant but just curious if others are contemplating a second go around or not.

This is a 100% different conversation than the one you started. Just thought you should know.

PunkyBooster · December 2010

You may be surprised by how fast your weight will come off. I shed a good half of it before I even left the hospital.

What do you mean how will you explain to him that he is an only child? I don't think that warrants explanation, it just is what it is.

We are all set with DS for now, though I will give him a sibling down the road. He's too new and I'm still recovering to think about it just yet. I loved being pregnant with DS, but that doesn't mean the next baby will be as easy on me. Especially given my age.

AmyMcD1 · December 2010

I definitely want more than one. I come from a large family and have always wanted that. We will have to see how it works financially as I wouldn't want to have lots of kids without being able to provide for them, but I definitely want more than one. I have also had an extremely easy pregnancy which I know helps, and I don't mind gaining the extra weight. My mom had 5 kids and looks great so I'm not worried.

amylynchild · December 2010

ang.ela23:
StephieLM:
You can't imagine having another baby because you wouldn't want to shed a few pounds again? Hmm....it seems very worth it to me. To each their own.

my thoughts exactly.

Ditto.

johannaknip · December 2010

We only want one. Before we started trying, we went back and forth between one and two. I am an only child and loved it, still do. Hubs has one sibling, but it waan't a huge deal to him if had two. After our losses and our struggle to get and stay pregnant, the decision seemed pretty clear. Our girl will be an only child.

Born2Fly · December 2010

I've been having a great pregnancy but I always said I only wanted one. I think DH would kinda like to see how things go and go for two but I think he is taking my lead with just the one. I was raised an only child (I have sisters but I'm my dads only). So I never really thought much about having to grow up with a sibling. I even think about adoption more than I think about being pregnant again. In a perfect world I would have had twins!

snoboardbabe77 · December 2010

I feel for you ladies out there that have not had 'easier' pregnancies.

This is my first, and from what I've gathered and other friends have assessed, I've had it very easy, for which I'm thankful. I'm a total Type A control freak - and this experience has been difficult - but good (i.e., learning the value of patience and giving up some control) - b/c after he's here, it'll be even MORE required of us.

DH and I both come from a family of 3. He wants 3. At best, I want to see how the delivery and adjustment of #1 is...and then we'll decide. Two is my max, whether I am able to pregnant again, or we adopt (I was adopted). We would like one child to replace each of us.

Slosey · December 2010

katkat74:
No, not the weight exclusively. I left out that I have not had an "easy" pregnancy thus far...thankfully no GD, Pre -E or anything like that. But I do have pregnancy gingivitis so severe that I have to have gum surgery post baby, I have had migraines,antenatal depression (which I have chosen not to medicate and just to tough out) ,morning sickness,pregnancy carpal tunnel, heart palpitations, hip pain and so on. Didn't want to have to list it all but evidently I have to otherwise I get comments such as yours thinking it is only about the weight and it certainly isn't. Also, I am considered advanced maternal age at 36 presently.
I am beyond thankful to be pregnant but just curious if others are contemplating a second go around or not.

i completely understand how you feel. and, i don't care if i get flamed for it or not but even besides all of the other aches and pains of pregnancy (and i've had quite a few different issues)....the weight does freak me out. i have always been in great shape and loved my perfect natural 34 D cup boobs. i always thought i would be "that" woman that would work out through her whole pregnancy, etc....yeah right! well, i did at first but had to stop at 27 weeks. so, for a woman like myself it is really hard to wrap my head around my now 36 F boobs, cellulite filled butt, stretch marks, bad skin, and disgusting looking vagina. you can call me vain or whatever you want, but this is how i feel.

and, i do have my moments where i think to myself that i would be soooo happy with just having one child (i was an only child) if that is what my DH would also be happy with. but, i think about my DH and that he was 1 of 4 and has always wanted a big family and that having one more would be such an amazing gift to give to him (i obviously would love the heck out of our second, too). so, i'm not completely writing a second baby off. i think it's just one of those things that we just need to experience holding our perfect little angels in our arms and some crazy memory dust will come over us ) keep your mind open to it.

Slosey · December 2010

kdodge423:
Why does having one child require an explanation of any kind? We have decided we are pretty much done after this. We don't have another 4 years to go from starting trying to actually having a baby. We originally planned to do 3 months of trying on our own then go right back to the RE, but we have since decided against that and will be donating the frozen sperm to research. If we happen to get one on our own in the next couple years, whatever. We have done enough active trying for our tastes.

This exactly!

katkat74 · December 2010

Slosey, I love you.

Slosey · December 2010

katkat74:
Slosey, I love you.

i just want you to know that you aren't alone in feeling like this. i guess us "super vain" women will just rot in hell....bahahahaha )

pawcall · December 2010

We knew this would be our first and only from the get-go, although certainly not because I'm concerned about losing baby weight twice.

I'm not at all concerned about explaining to my son that he is an only child.
a) I think he'll notice without my having to point it out
b) I don't think it really requires an explanation. He certainly won't be the only "only child" out there. Something tells me he'll pull through.

shoebox4 · December 2010

As of now... DH is already thinking about #2, he wants another one in about 2 years. I told him #2 will happen only when men can have babies. Then again, I'm so ready for LO to arrive and be done with this pregnancy.

We've struggled with IF for the past 7 years, and I dont know if my body will be able to produce another baby, let alone think about getting AF monthly. So we'll see... if things look good, then maybe we'll have another little one in about 5 years. If not, then it's off to the adoption path.

This little miracle came as a surprise for us both, after being told that IVF will not even work for us. So here's looking to a bright future.

Beccaboo0713 · December 2010

DS was going to be our only baby.

I didn't want another one AT ALL! He was a hard pregnancy, he was a NICU baby, he had reflux and colic, didn't STTN until he was about 15 month old, etc.

BUT here we are doing it again and I will admit that there are times when I question my decision to get pregnant again. In the end though it is worth it and honestly I didn't want my child to be an only child. This one is definitely my last though.

By the way, I have a hell of a time loosing weight and the pounds just melted off of me when I was EPing so you might not have to bust your ass to get the weight off.

dantessock · December 2010

I am dealing with bouts of guilt...but even so, plan on this being my only child.

It took us ten years to finally become pregnant and now that I am -I am miserable almost 24/7 due to previous surgeries/illnesses compounding my pregnancy symptoms...and have to keep reminding myself it is just for a few more months.

However, these are the main two reasons we have decided to just have one child:

1. My husband is a bit older and it probably isn't fair to this child let alone another who arrives even a few years later

2. We want to ensure a good quality of life for our child. If we have one child we can still afford to travel and expose her to the world (it is really important to me that she speaks Spanish and Mandrin in addition to English and in order to do so effectively she will need to spend as much time as possible in other countries), send her to camps, buy her cars, pay for college, etc... We can hopefully somehow manage to find the money for one child, but would definitely be unable to make it magically appear for two...

I still debate in my head whether or not it is fair to our daughter to raise her as an only child...but I think it will give her the best opportunities....

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