big news in my world (LONG)

MayDayGirl · December 2010

Last Tuesday we got a call about a birth mom who was due Jan 1st. She had been previously matched with an African American family. Both she and birth father are black and it was very important to her that the adoptive family was as well. For some reason this family had to back out. The BM had seen our profile and liked it so quickly decided to go with us for fear of time.

Our SW said she felt she was settling as race was very important to her and we clearly are not black. She said don't hold your breath because we are going to show her some more AA profiles from other agencies, but lets set up a meeting just in case because that is what she has requested. She said most likely the meeting would be canceled if she connected with any of these other families.

We didn't hold our breath and we went on.

Well 2 days ago (the following Tuesday) we got a call that she had viewed the other profiles and she didn't pick any of those families, she didn't want to see any more AA profiles and she wanted to move forward with us!

So we are thrilled of course! And cautiously optimistic. But I can't wait to meet her. She wants a very open adoption which is exactly what we want. Calls/visits/emails etc. (we would still do several visits a year after we move 5 hours away and of course we would probably have her come and visit us as well). Our social worker said that while we don't have the race factor, we are everything else she wants in a family and she is rearranging her priorities as to not compromise on more important things.

So the baby is due in 3 weeks, is a full AA GIRL and I am hoping the meeting goes so well tomorrow and we both feel it's a great fit so we can feel more officially matched. Our SW said she does think it is a great match, but of course we still need to meet! The meeting is tomorrow at 2:30 pm! She even told us to bring our list of names so maybe we could pick one together!!!

The one downfall is the birth father can't be reached. He knows she is pg and has dropped out of her life, but doesn't know she plans to place the baby for adoption. They have been trying to serve him papers to terminate his rights for 3 weeks but can't seem to find him at all the known addresses he has been at.

If the father can't be reached we would have to wait 30 days before his rights could be terminated. The mom said she honestly doesn't know if he will sign or fight when/ if he finds out about the baby. If they never reach him, his rights are terminated automatically after proper publications are put out.

If that happens, we would have to either take the baby home for 30 days as a risk, or have her go in interim care. Both sound heartbreaking!

Joey has said absolutely interim care, but honestly after meeting her and being at the hospital, I think I would die being away for 30 days!

So please be praying that the birth father can be found and that he IS ok with the adoption!!!

Also please be praying that after meeting she will know 100% that she isn't settling, or she will know if she is. The last thing we want is for her to settle because she is running out of time. But knowing she turned down other profiles helps!!

LisaMarisa · December 2010

I really hope this is the baby that is meant for you. You guys have been through so much. Keep us posted!!

Mouseygail · December 2010

wow! I'm so excited and optimisitic for you! and teary! I love that the BM can tell what an amazing family you are and has decided that you would be the best parents for her little girl!! I am sending out tons of good thoughts that this is your match!!!

PhillySue · December 2010

I am so excited for you! I hope that she will be the baby you have been waiting so long for.

rockvillebride · December 2010

I am SO thrilled for you! I hope everything goes fantastic tomorrow and that you are forever matched with your daughter!

LucyPevensie · December 2010

Oh I hope this goes well! BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!!!

charmcitygirl · December 2010

Wow! What an exciting turn of events. Praying that the BM meets you and knows that you're the right couple to parent her child. (How could she not?) And praying that they find the father so that your baby girl can come home with you immediately.

BRSaugust20 · December 2010

I hope it all works out for you!!

AuburnBride06 · December 2010

Wonderful news! So exciting! If this is supposed to be your daughter, she will be! We have a 100% open adoption with DS's birth parents (sometimes too open!! haha). It does have a few negatives, but overall, we love them, they are sweet kids. I am going to have to start working on boundaries with her bc she is a typical teen, LOVES to text. All.the.time.

Good luck!!!

mrsolsenk12 · December 2010

All fingers and toes crossed for you for a a great visit and that the birth father is found and ok's the adoption. Caustiously optimisitic for you!!

Mrs.OL · December 2010

This is such wonderful and exciting news! I hope that everything goes well tomorrow. She will LOVE you and Joey! You are both such wonderful, loving and caring people and that will absolutely shine through during your meeting! I pray that the father agrees to terminate his rights and there are no more obstacles in your way.

You have waited a long time and have worked so hard for this! I couldn't be happier for you!!

keg · December 2010

So very exciting! I'll keep your family and the BM in my thoughts and prayers. I hope your meeting goes even better than expected tomorrow!!!

BeccaLandes · December 2010

I hope it works out! It would be so wonderful to add a beautiful baby girl to your family!

BoxTer · December 2010

I really hope this is it for you!

Germanwife2b · December 2010

Praying for you! What a long and hard road you have been down!

kme930 · December 2010

This is great news! I hope your meeting goes well. Praying for everything to fall into place for you!

oct11bride03 · December 2010

((HUGS)) I really hope everything works out. Sounds like things are on the right track.

perry7285 · December 2010

praying that this is the one for you!!!!

i think it would be a great thing for the baby if you could take her for 30 days as a risk rather than her going to interim care . . . i'm sure it would really help her feel safe and attach to you guys as her parents. but i would totally understand if that seems like too risky and heart-wrenching of an option!

crossing every finger and toe that this works out. keep us posted, i want to hear everything!

SparklyCutie · December 2010

This sounds like fabulous news, I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow and hope everything goes well!!!

Carrie25 · December 2010

I really hope and pray this is it for you! I pray the meeting goes well with her and you can all move forward. Good luck to everyone with finding the dad.

GuitaristsGirl · December 2010

Awww, that's so exciting, hone! So hoping this is "it" for you!!!!

b3bell · December 2010

I really hope this is it for you and your family. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

dana316 · December 2010

Your family will be in my prayers...

Kristin&Frank · December 2010

Wow MayDay! I'm hoping everything is perfect and the father is found. It sounds like he doesn't want to be found, and that kind of guy doesn't exactly want to be a dad. Good luck sweetie!!!