DH and I (whoever is available at the time) take our 2.5 year old DS into the shower with us to bathe him. At what age do you think it's inappropriate for a child (especially of the opposite sex) to shower with you?
My thought is that we're about there, with me, anyway. DS1 knows his body parts and has "noticed" that Mama doesn't have the same body parts, if you get my drift. I have no problems answering any questions for DS1 when they come up, but he has a very good memory, and I guess I'd hate for the little guy to have "memories" of showering with his mother.....LOL.
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Re: s/o to when to stop showering your child
We take baths with DS, but whoever is in there wears a bathing suit. It's less of a nudity hang-up, and more due to the fact that:
A) DS grabs everything lol. I'll leave it at that. DH isn't a fan.
C) Bathtime is a fun photo op, and neither DH nor I want to be photographed naked.
I think it is up the the parents and children involved. As long as the kids and the parents are all comfortable with their decisions. I say heck... save some water.
I think it's perfectly fine until someone (parent or kid) starts to feel uncomfortable. Our kids (girl and boy) still shower with both DH and me. They are 5 and 3. It doesnt bother them in the slightest and we aren't embarrassed. They know that boys and girls are different but it's just another fact for them. Broccoli is green, snow is cold, boys have a penis and girls have a vulva.
I'm not worried about scaring them or of them having memories of showering with us. Any memories they have will almost certainly be positive and happy, since they enjoy shower/bath time.
Naked bodies aren't a mystery for them to wonder about or question. They know what normal adults look like. As they get older, they are developing natural modesty in front of others, but not shame or embarrassment. They understand that being naked is ok at home with mom/dad but that sometimes it's best to be private. And when they decide that they dont want to be naked in front of us, we will respect that, just as we will respect when they dont want to shower with us any longer.