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August 2011 Moms
Uwannalala
member
The Taboo Subject.. elective C-Section
Uwannalala
member
You guys.. please don't be mean! I only found out I was pregnant 6 days ago so I have plenty of time to research/talk to people/change my mind. I know people have very strong feelings about this subject but please play nice. I am absolutely open to opinions as long as they don't attack me.
I have had major anxiety issues my entire life. For example, Having people drive me in cars or having to take a plane leads to panic attacks. ( I really really hate being out of control!) I have anxiety over job performance to the point that I find myself not being able to sleep at night because all I do is think think think! I could name many more "issues" LoL but you get the point.
Well, guess what I have literally feared my entire life... childbirth. Since I was about 15 everytime I meet someone who has a kid.. I have quizzed them about all aspects of their delivery.
I have always wanted children... I love children and my husband and I couldn't wait! Well guess what? The day I found out I was pregnant instead of it being a happy occasion I found myself crying in fear of the fact that childbirth was imminent in 9 months.
I know how selfish this sounds especially to people who have trouble having children. I also know what people think.. "Suck it up.. this isn't about you anymore.. its about your child.. they are worth the pain." Man, I wish it was that easy. I have done so much reading on the subject and read all the pros and cons and I cannot get over the fact that maybe for me a Caesarean section is the best choice for me.
I keep asking myself if its better to live in absolute fear for 9 months to do something that everyone else feels is the right choice for me or to enjoy my pregnancy knowing I have the option to do what I feel is best for my baby, my sanity, and my situation. TRUST.. I absolutely understand a C-section is not the "easy way out." I am aware of the downsides.. but to me.. being able to know when its going to happen, and having some idea of what will happen makes a world of difference.
Any thoughts? Am I completely alone and crazy? I'd love to hear all sides but again.. please be nice 
I'm only 5 weeks in so I have a lot of time to think!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The Taboo Subject.. elective C-Section
we all worry too!!!! Trust me!
we all worry too!!!! Trust me!
It's up to you and it's your call, but if I could do it all over again, I would choose a vaginal delivery.
With my son, I pushed for 3 hours straight, and he got stuck in my birth canal. I had to then have an unplanned c-section.
The scariest part for me was going to the OR and laying there with your arms pinned down and you having absolutely ZERO control.
If you have issues with control, the vaginal delivery would be better since you have control of pushing, knowing when a contraction is coming, etc.
With a c-section, the doctor is in control.
Best of luck with whatever you choose.
My c-section wasn't planned but it was lovely. However, I have never felt LESS in control of a situation than when I was strapped down onto a table feeling the most bizarre sensations of my life and unable to move.
IMO, you'd be far more in control with a vaginal delivery.
If you're more comfortable with a c-section, I don't see anything wrong with doing it. Regardless of your birth choice, the odds are overwhelmingly with both you and your baby coming out of everything just fine.
I had a very different experience. I loved labor and delivery. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. My labor was so easy and I pushed for only 20 minutes. She came right out and they put her on my chest. I can't tell you what kind of a high that was, but I was overwhelmed with feelings of joy, love, and elation. Right after she came out I was able to walk, go to the bathroom, take a shower, etc.
My friend had a c-section the same day I delivered. She couldn't even get out of bed to pick up her baby from the bassinet. She had problems in the hospital breastfeeding because her c-section spot hurt so much. She couldn't drive for weeks or lift anything heavier than her baby. A c-section is major abdominal surgery and carries a lot of risks. What doctors will tell you is that the first c-section is usually fine, but it's the subsequent c-sections that pose a problem. In most cases vaginal births are better for mom and for the baby.
Have you ever watched "The Business of Being Born"? I think you would find it interesting.
Uwannalala, I'd think having a C-section would leave you in less control in the end.
If you really want "control" over the birthing process, try a midwife through your OB if s/he has one on his team or if he could recommend one to you, like a CNM. Most are all about letting the mom figure out a birth plan and how you want it to get done and all they do is "catch" the baby in a best case scenario. And if worse comes to worse, you might get that C-section after all.
My OB has a CNM on his team I'm going to ask about to see if I could be introduced and have her take care of my delivery and pre-delivery care. From my SIL (she used my OB's CNM) the CNM wasn't in favor of an episiotomy or a c-section unless it was necessary. The good news, if you are a wuss like myself, is that she is a-okay with the use of epidurals and such. SIL was in control of the whole process and she said she left feeling empowered as opposed to her first delivery where he went in and started cutting her for an episiotomy without letting her know and was "Wham, Bam, Thank You M'am" about the whole process. He was there to catch the baby, cut the cord, and collect the check.
It's something to look into but it's also nice to know that you have other options for control than just an elective c-section.
Like PPs have said, it is ultimately your decision and kuddos for thinking ahead and weighing it out. HTH
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This is how I feel. This is my first, so I have no previous experience to rely on, but the thought of having a C-section is awful to me. It's not awful for everyone, I know. Just for me. I would much rather do a vaginal birth.
OP, I do understand how overwhelming your anxiety can be. I had panic attacks fairly frequently when I was younger. My suggestion would be to talk it over with your Dr. and find a solution that you both think will work best for you.
About the control... after more thinking, I think it is less about me having control of the situation and more of me having an idea of how it will go. Of course, I understand nothing is guaranteed either way!
Every vaginal birth story is so different. Some are great.. some are horrendous... and you have no idea how yours will turn out. From what I have researched/heard about C-section- it is generally a much more uniform (I am hesistate to use this word.. I just can't think of a better one) experience.
Its definately not a vanity thing (oh lord, I rolled my eyes when Christina Aguilera did an interview about how she "didn't want to mess up her lady parts.. whatever!) Its that aspect of having a plan and able to mentally prepare with that specific plan.
Also, (this is where it gets a little controversial) I am much less scared to have expected surgery pain after the fact then an unknown amount of pain during. I know how silly that sounds. But nothing about recovery scares me.. but being unable to control your body and that pain and tearing is terrifying to me!
Thanks for everyones kind words! I obviously have a lot of thinking and speaking to with doctors to do!
If I were in your shoes, I'd sit down and talk in-depth about this with your OB (and possibly even a psycologist). To me, it sounds like your fear/anxiety is in the range of possibly making a vaginal delivery MORE dangerous/risky. If you're completely freaking out & having panic attacks, that probably won't help anything and could be a problem.
Like everyone said, more in-depth research & discussion is probably in line, but also, I'd trust your doctors' opinions as well (and if you feel completely uncomfortable with their reactions to what you say, I'd look for a new doc).
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Hey girl,
thanks for your honesty. I think what you are experiencing is perfectly normal!!!
I am pregnant with #2, but my entire first pregnancy i was scared to death of the delivery. I went through lots of hours of labor, fully dilated, pushed, but due to my baby's heart rate I had to have a C-section. I just realized that may not sound very hopeful, but stick with me!
The actual birthing part was NOT THAT BAD. I didn't get to experience the actual birth, but the contractions, pushing, etc, wasn't nearly as bas i had expected.
The recovery from the C-section was terrible. I couldn't walk up/down stairs and I couldn't carry my baby for several weeks. Driving was out of the question.
Anyway, just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your fears & it may not be as bad as you fear! Keep researching & learning!
I hadn't thought about it, but I think I'll ask about a c-section too. I am not wanting to experience vaginal birth at all. Even an epidural doesn't guarantee the actual birth is painless.
My cousin was just as chicken as I am, and she labored so long when the time came the epi had worn off. I know my body, I get cramps so bad that without advil, I shake from the pain, and vomit, and have diarreha. It's wonderful.
My mom had 3 c-sections, we we're all big babies, but now her abdominal muscles are detached. She hates her 'butt-gut'. And I have no idea of what her recovery was like.
Its hard because you read the stories and some people gloss over the actual birth, some people have a great birth, and others have terrible ones. What's scary is that there's know way of knowing what it will be like. It had never occurred to me that a c-section was an option, but I definitely plan on asking my OB.
I basically ended up having an elective c-section with my first. She was breech for the longest time and my Dr. didn't think she would be able to turn given her size and how far along I was. So, we scheduled the c/s at 38w5d.
When I went in the morning of my scheduled c/s they did an u/s and surprise! She had turned! My mom had flown in from out of state the day before, and all of our family had arrived for the birth. My Dr. suggested we got home and "have lots of sex" to bring on labor. That was the *LAST* thing I wanted to do! DD was floating and nowhere near ready to come on her own.
C-section it was! I had her that day. I've never regretted it for a minute. Initially my Dr. advised against it, because she'd more conservative...but once DD was born she said I probably made the right decision because of her size.
WOW!
I labored for 18 hours, pushed for 2.5, and ended up with a c-section. My Dr said my son would have never come out - he was 9lbs 5oz and wouldn't fit past my pelvic bones. Because of this experience, I will most likely be scheduling a c-section next time around. I'm going to talk to my OB though, and see what he thinks. The risks of a VBAC scare me a little.
I do wish I could have delivered vaginally, and that was my plan. I do have to say - compared to my friends that delivered vaginally, the c-section recovery was more difficult. I also had some issues with my incision site after the surgery.
I would avoid surgery if you can, and talk to your OB about it. Maybe they have some suggestions for you to ease your anxiety. Like PPs said, laying on that operating table waiting for them to cut you open is AWFUL. Plus, I didn't get to hold my son for almost 3 hours.
I too have had anxiety about any medical procedure my entire life. Even though I have always wanted kids, I use to think that I could not handle child birth, and it almost made me think that I could never have kids.
For some reason, the feeling of wanting kids has far exceeded my fear, and I am okay with the idea of labor now. I would go through anything to have a LO, but I still understand where you are coming from.
However, for me the idea of a c/s almost freaks me out more than a vaginal delivery. I am even considering going partially natural birth (with maybe some drugs that calm me down) instead of an epideral. I think the pain might help me "forget" about my anxiety and what they are doing to me. I am more afraid of the procedures than I am of the pain.
I wouldn't look down on you for getting an elective c-section. If that is the decision that you and your doctor think is best for your anxiety that I say go ahead.
DS#1- Born August 2011
My thoughts exactly! I have a friend on my local board who had a c-section and ended up getting a staph infection during the procedure.. something that she is STILL battling with today, and her baby is a year old.
Besides watching the movie "The Business of Being Born" I would also highly recommend reading the book "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth". It is filled with positive stories about vaginal childbirth. Seriously, that book empowered me when I was pregnant with DD and made me realize that my body is made to do this. You can have control AND have a vaginal delivery.
Honestly, if you want control, I would suggest NOT being induced. Almost everyone I know that was induced ended up having some kind of complication and/or ended up with an emergency c-section in the end. Plus, when you are induced the pitocin they give you causes much more painful contractions.
At 39 weeks, I went into natural labor on my own. It WAS NOTHING like I thought it would be. I worked through most of the day while having small contractions. Went home, walked two miles around my neighborhood, did laundry, ate dinner with DH and took a shower. I did my hair and makeup, all before going to the hospital.
Once we got to the hospital, I was 6 cm dialated... over halfway there! I spent a few hours bouncing on my yoga ball, laptop in my lap, posting on facebook and laughing with my two closest friends who had come to visit. Honestly, the contractions weren't even as bad as my worst PMS cramps.
By midnight I was about 8.5 cm dialated. Almost ready to push. My doc told me it was my last opportunity to get an epi. (At that point I hadn't had any drugs.) I did decide to go ahead and get one because I was scared what it would feel like pushing. I got the epi, everything went fine. I could feel when to push but it didn't hurt. I only pushed for 20 minutes and my DD was born!
What was important to me was that I wrote out a birth plan of how I wanted things to go, and honestly, everything pretty much went to according to plan. I had a beautiful birth experience and while I know there were a lot of things I couldn't control, I FELT like I was in control. Within a 3-4 hours of childbirth, I was up and walking around.
Honestly, if I were you, I'd avoid a c-section and induction like the plague.
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I would suggest that you strongly consider seeing a therapist...and I see this as a healthy thing, not with any negative stigma attached. But I think therapy could be helpful not just in coming to terms with this particular decision, but with helping you develop coping strategies for the "major anxiety issues" you say you have dealt with your entire life. Becoming a mother brings out tremendous anxiety for someone without "anxiety issues". Suddenly you are responsible for the health and safety of a tiny life and as a first time mother, it's so hard to know what's normal, so you worry alot that something is wrong. For the sake of you and your child, it would be highly beneficial if you get some help with those issues now.
Good Luck.