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Two Under 2
how do you girls do it?!?
Im so completely nervous and upset for when my S/O has to go back to work. DS#1 isnt even 1 yet and DS#2 will be a week old tomorrow. We can hardly handle both of them together, i have no idea what im gunna do when im left all alone. I feel so overwhelmed as it is now... how do you ladies handle it?!
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Re: how do you girls do it?!?
The last time someone asked me that I said "uhhh, how could I NOT?" I mean, the baby's here, now I make it work.
Just keep in mind you're in the very, very early stages. Newborns are hard. Once we got that first week or two out of the way, it wasn't all that hard. Sure, you need to adjust your expectations - many days, the kids stayed in pajamas and DS watched a DVD or two while I fed the baby or calmed the baby or stole a few minutes for a shower. I couldn't be SuperMom for awhile .... and we all survived. So set your expectations low, tell yourself that if you're all breathing at the end of the day you did GREAT, and try to enjoy it. It really does fly by.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Ditto this 100%. It can be terrifying at first but you'll find your groove in no time!
All the little things that seem complicated? How to juggle 2 while nursing, how to get them both up the stairs, etc? You'll figure out the tricks that work for your specific little ones. (and you'll come here with specific questions so the BTDT Moms can help you brain storm!)
Advice:
1. Wear the baby. A LOT. It helps on so many levels: happy baby, arms free, attention to toddler, able to cook, do laundry, etc.
2. Let everything go. This is the survival mode time. Let the dust and the laundry pile up. It's not the end of the world if the toilets are not spotless. Eat take out. Hire a one time house cleaning in a few weeks when you start to get where you can't stand the disorder in your house any more, etc.
3. Sleep every chance you get. Have DH take a night feeding. Stringing together more than 2-3 consecutive hours of sleep is gonna go a LONG way with your ability to mentally juggle all that's being thrown at you.
Hang in there. Before you know it you'll be answering posts to brand new Moms giving them your tips and tricks!
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
This.
Day by day, hour by hour!!!!!
Having a schedule for the twins helps a lot.
Also, having a sling for the baby has been my lifesaver.
This is my first week alone with the kids- the twins are 13 months adjusted and the baby is 1 month old so it has definitely been hard!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09
Claire Zoe, 10.26.10
If it's not essential, let it go.
And you can do it. You will find your way and make it work.
In terms of baby carriers, I used a ring sling with both of mine when they were small, but it isn't exactly hands-free. With DS, I loved my mei tai. A couple of my girlfriends swear by their ErgoBaby carriers with the infant inserts. Those styles of carriers leave your hands free, which is REALLY helpful when you have two under one.
Don't get a Baby Bjorn-style carrier -- they aren't great for baby spines and hip development, and most newborns don't like the feeling of having their legs hanging free. With an Ergo or a similar carrier, he'll have his legs curled up and feel more secure.
When I was home alone with both kids after DH went back to work (and mine have about the same age difference as yours do), I had everything downstairs. I set the Pack 'n' Play up in the den and had diapers, wipes, and a couple of changes of clothes for each child in a basket in there. I'd put DS down for his naps in the PnP or let him fall asleep in the swing so I could have an eye on both of them at once. If they were both snoozing at the same time, I would lie down, too.
If you've got friends or relatives who are willing to help with meals, take them up on it. Use lots of paper plates.
You kind of just do what you have to do (my kids are just barely under a year apart). It sucked bad at first. Really badly.
If you're feeding LO #2, don't be afraid to turn on the TV or snuggle up with LO#1 and read a book. DD watched an awful lot of Looney Tunes when DS was a newborn.
Put LO#2 down as much as possible. I spent the first several months of DD's life holding her, and I just couldn't do that with DS. The swing was my lifesaver, especially in those first two weeks. He was content to just sleep in there and I was able to get down and play with DD a little bit.
I suggest a baby carrier if LO#2 wants to be held. Once DS got to the point that he really wanted to be held, I wore him in my Babyhawk Mei Tai or a woven wrap. That kept me hands free for DD. Also, a bouncy seat or something of the sort is great to put them in on the floor next to you so you can still play.
I know it's such a change to go from one to two. I can't believe I ever thought one was hard. Just know that it gets better. I promise.
I dealt (and am in the process of dealing) with awful PPD and it really made the long days DH was gone terrible for all of us. Once DS started being responsive and smiling, I started to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Right now, it's getting to be routine for us and is pretty easy.
**hugs** You'll get through it, I promise.
You just do it. And before you know it, it's your new normal. You'll get the hang of it.
I'd recommend wearing you LO as much as you can. Makes things so much easier.
It takes practice. You'll get the hang of it and figure out what works for you.
Prioritize. Who cares if the dishes get done or you are eating pizza for the third night in a row? Make sure the babies are safe, fed and dry (and that you are fed too) and the rest is gravy. I babyproofed our living room and gated it off. Turned on the tv and parked myself and the newborn on the couch while the older one played in the safe environment. I kept easy toddler food/snacks and snacks for me (bonus if you are eating the same thing and can share) ready to go. Diapers and wipes and clothes right there in the living room so I could do quick changes. It wasn't ideal, but it worked and I survived.