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Jewish Moms - How did you explain Christmas to your little ones?

jlw2505jlw2505 member
in School-Aged Children
My DD is 4 1/2 and for the 1st time, has realized that Christmas is out there.  We read Jewish books all the time and she totally gets Hanukkah but came home from school the other day asking to celebrate Christmas.  She loves all the ligths that we see and stuff like that.  We have explained as best as we can in 4 year old terms that we are Jewish and Jews celebrate Hanukkah and Christians celebrate Christmas but just wondering what others have said when this comes up.  Her PreK teachers are great and we brought in Hanukkah books and gelt yesterday and they really spent time with all the kids talking about the holiday.  By the way, she is the only Jewish kid in her class.  One great book that we read is called "The Only One".
Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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Re: Jewish Moms - How did you explain Christmas to your little ones?

  • howleyshellhowleyshell member

    I'm not jewish but will share our approach to this issue.

    We're agnostic.  I'd like to expose my kids to as many different religions and traditions as possible and allow them to choose what resonates with them when they're old enough to fully understand and make those kinds of decisions.  As a step-mom to a 15 yr old it's been an interesting journey for all of us and I hope that my younger kids will some day develop the same interest and introspection that my 15 yr old has.

    At this point the way we explain it is that different people believe in different things.  I explain the basic "story" behind a religious celebration or event.  They listen and absorb them as they would a fairy tale or nursery rhyme finding interest in the characters and the plots of the stories behind the celebrations.  I can see though where this kind of approach might not be comfortable to you though, particularly with Christmas.

    I think Christmas is extra tough because so much of what she'll see and have an interest in really has very little to do with the Christian celebration (birth of Christ).  The flip side of that is that I think you would do fine with explaining just the commercial aspect of Christmas.  (St. Nick, why trees are lit, season of giving, etc)

    As for her wanting to celebrate it?  

    That's a tough one.

    We "celebrate" many different religious holidays with our friends who are of that religion so they can experience them.  It's nice to have friends who are patient and comfortable inviting our family into their different houses of worship and even their homes to help expose my children to their beliefs.  The religious celebrations we've participated in all have beautiful stories and excellent morals to impart not to mention the rich cultural exposures and lessons they bring.  I think until they're teenagers you can dummy it down quite a bit for them.  They'll ask more detailed questions as they mature enough to understand the nuances of the religion behind them.

    From my experience growing up if she's going to school in a predominantly Christian school chances are she will eventually partake in Christmas related activities with her friends.   My jewish girl friends were comfortable doing "secret santa" gift exchanges, holiday cookie baking, making trees in art class and things of that sort.  It doesn't have to be about the religious part of Christmas.  In fact I'd guess that 80% of the kids in her school have ZERO clue about the religious aspect of Christmas either.  

    Would you be comfortable with her bringing home reindeer she's made in art classes and that type of thing?  If so would she be satisfied with hearing that she WILL get to celebrate with all of those fun types of activities at school?  

    Or what about celebrating the "season of giving" by having her help donate a toy to a needy family at a local toy drive?

    You kind of have a chance here to mold what her perception will be of what Christmas is about to HER and it doesn't have to include Christ at all.

     

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
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  • shouldbworkinshouldbworkin
    It is soooo hard!  DS loves the Christmas lights and so badly wants to "celebrate" Christmas (i.e. put up lights).  Our kids don't go to a Jewish preschool/primary school, but their schools are pretty good about teaching about everything even if they are the only Jewish kid in the class (in DS's class it's just him and his cousin).  I just keep reminding him that we don't celebrate Christmas b/c we're Jewish, etc., etc., etc.  Right now it's not too bad b/c it's Chanukah. 
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    Thank you - it sounds like I am doing and saying what you both are to some extend.  I grew up in a very non-Jewish area and was one of only a small handful of Jews in my school but I don't remember how my mom taught us about why we didn't celebrate certain holidays, I just remember it always being that way.  I have no issues with either of my kids participating in the school activities around any of the holidays as I want them to learn and experience all that is out there and we picked our school because of the diversity that it offers.  I just want to find a way to explain it all to my kids so they respect others holidays and traditions while understanding what we celebrate and believe.  Starting in Kindergarten, the girls will go to religious school and we are doing our best until then to celebrate and read books and learn in a manner that a 2 and 4 year old understands.  I think Christmas is always so hard since it is visable with all the lights and the store decorations and that sort of stuff.  Growing up, I always went down the street to a neighbors and helped decorate their tree but I was older and got it at that point.  I am sure my kids will have many opportunities like that and I am happy about it as well as knowing that we will include their friends in our traditions.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • Jessys_GirlJessys_Girl

    I'm Christian (Catholic) and I agree with the PP.  You are on the right track here.

    I think it's important to let kids learn about and be exposed to differen beliefs, to learn to tolerate and enjoy the differences between themselves and those around them.

    As far as teaching about Christmas, i think it's important to tell her that there are sort of two "sides" to Christmas.  As in, the lights and trees and gifts and glitter and such are just one aspect of the celebration and really have nothing to do with the religious or spiritual part of the holiday.

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