Disturbing Question at work today

slmcronelaw · December 2010

A woman just called here and wanted to know if she marries a sex offender who just got out of jail but has no restrictions on him, would they take her kids away from her.

Thankfully, we don't deal in that kind of law, so I didn't have to respond...

but, kind of disturbing, to me anyway

AfterAll · December 2010

christie.h · December 2010

Maybe you just should have told her yes. Better safe for those kids than sorry.

Very disturbing.

mandi7782 · December 2010

AfterAll:

exactly

buboo · December 2010

Sad, she is obviously only thinking about herself. I am scared for her kids.

macchiatto · December 2010

Oh no.

aliciamariel · December 2010

Wow.

JoLiz · December 2010

REALLY??? awful!

FerreraRocher · December 2010

That has got to be a bit worrisome. However, people can get on that list if they dated someone younger when they were 18 or even urinating in public (which is gross). I would advise this woman to get more information and contact her local PD officer (the one that handles sex offender registration).

rebus82 · December 2010

I have a friend who, at 19, dated and slept with a 16 year old high school senior. Ten years later she is his wife and her parents love him, but had they chosen to do so they could have had him arrested and labeled a "sex offender" for life. Mind you, the girl lost her virginity at 13 to someone else and was very promiscuous, while the guy had slept with one other person before her, and that partner was his own age. They had been friends for a while, and the sex was just another part of an otherwise loving relationship.

Not all sex offenders are pedophiles or creeps. And if he has no restrictions, it probably means he did something pretty innocuous.

mfransdell · December 2010

Thank goodness for state databases that make that info public. You can search convicted sex offenders living near you or search for a specific person. It's scary!

SailorGray · December 2010

rebus82:

Not all sex offenders are pedophiles or creeps. And if he has no restrictions, it probably means he did something pretty innocuous.

Ditto! While I agree that most people on the DB are creeps, there are people on there who should not be grouped with people who did really horrible things. There are people on there because they mooned their HS class, or they sexted pics of themselves (while bad to do, they most likely are not a danger to others), etc. I think each case has to be examined on its own.

My Mom's good friend is an attorney and has clients who were accused by a young girl of sexual abuse back in the late 80's/early 90's. She was mad at them and decided to hit them where it hurts and that was by accusing them of sexual abuse. They decided to plead guilty because they did not want their kids to go through the stress of a trial. I believe they were put on probation, which they served. Fast forward to the intro of Megan's Law. This couple, who I truly believe are innocent of anything, now have to register on the DB wherever they go. Do I think these people belong there? No. Would I trust my LO with them? Yes.

Of course, I think the DB is a great, great thing, but I don't think it's fair to put down everyone who is on it without knowing all of the details.

DG1 · December 2010

FerreraRocher:
That has got to be a bit worrisome. However, people can get on that list if they dated someone younger when they were 18 or even urinating in public (which is gross). I would advise this woman to get more information and contact her local PD officer (the one that handles sex offender registration).

Agreed. I know of an 18yo who had consensual sex with a 16yo and ended up in jail on a *child molestation* charge. Statutory rape, maybe technically, but to lump him in the same category with someone who'd rape a 4yo is absurd.

katie_cj · December 2010

DG1:
FerreraRocher:
That has got to be a bit worrisome. However, people can get on that list if they dated someone younger when they were 18 or even urinating in public (which is gross). I would advise this woman to get more information and contact her local PD officer (the one that handles sex offender registration).
Agreed. I know of an 18yo who had consensual sex with a 16yo and ended up in jail on a *child molestation* charge. Statutory rape, maybe technically, but to lump him in the same category with someone who'd rape a 4yo is absurd.

I agree with all of this. There are different categories of "sex offenders" for sure. However, if he's just coming out of jail, my guess is that he's not an 18 year old having consensual sex with a 16 year old.

CalinsBride · December 2010

W.T.F.

CalinsBride · December 2010

katie_cj@hotmail.com:
DG1:

FerreraRocher:
That has got to be a bit worrisome. However, people can get on that list if they dated someone younger when they were 18 or even urinating in public (which is gross). I would advise this woman to get more information and contact her local PD officer (the one that handles sex offender registration).

Agreed. I know of an 18yo who had consensual sex with a 16yo and ended up in jail on a *child molestation* charge. Statutory rape, maybe technically, but to lump him in the same category with someone who'd rape a 4yo is absurd.

I agree with all of this. There are different categories of "sex offenders" for sure. However, if he's just coming out of jail, my guess is that he's not an 18 year old having consensual sex with a 16 year old.

And I know this is true, but still. She has children and she's dating someone who JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL. It would be different if he'd been 18 dating a 16 year old a long time ago, but the man just got out of jail. I would not have him in my house, period, kids or no kids.

NDwife07 · December 2010

rebus82:
I have a friend who, at 19, dated and slept with a 16 year old high school senior. Ten years later she is his wife and her parents love him, but had they chosen to do so they could have had him arrested and labeled a "sex offender" for life. Mind you, the girl lost her virginity at 13 to someone else and was very promiscuous, while the guy had slept with one other person before her, and that partner was his own age. They had been friends for a while, and the sex was just another part of an otherwise loving relationship.
Not all sex offenders are pedophiles or creeps. And if he has no restrictions, it probably means he did something pretty innocuous.

Exactly what I was going to say.

I'm not saying this woman shouldn't be careful about who she brings into her kids' lives, but "sex offender" is a very generic term used to describe a whole host of different offenses...not all of which are predatory.

Scooter359 · December 2010

rebus82:
I have a friend who, at 19, dated and slept with a 16 year old high school senior. Ten years later she is his wife and her parents love him, but had they chosen to do so they could have had him arrested and labeled a "sex offender" for life. Mind you, the girl lost her virginity at 13 to someone else and was very promiscuous, while the guy had slept with one other person before her, and that partner was his own age. They had been friends for a while, and the sex was just another part of an otherwise loving relationship.
Not all sex offenders are pedophiles or creeps. And if he has no restrictions, it probably means he did something pretty innocuous.

This. A countless amount of "boyfriends" of mine could now be labeled sex offenders if my mother had known. But I guess better safe than sorry.

FerreraRocher · December 2010

CalinsBride:
And I know this is true, but still. She has children and she's dating someone who JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL. It would be different if he'd been 18 dating a 16 year old a long time ago, but the man just got out of jail. I would not have him in my house, period, kids or no kids.

The jail thing is a bit scary but it could be for charges completely unrelated to being a "sex offender".

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