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Parenting after 35
M.Amy
member
Meeting FIL's boyfriend
M.Amy
member
So my FIL is coming to visit and bringing his boyfriend in January. I have only seen a photo so it will be really interesting to meet him.
Matt will still be too small to understand why Grandpa has a boyfriend but I can't wait to explain to him someday.
What I am not looking for to are MIL's questions. It has only been a few years and she is not as accepting of the situation. You know with her husband of forty years telling her he is gay and all. She is okay with it as a concept just not in practice.
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Re: Meeting FIL's boyfriend
You know, you may never have to explain it to Matthew. When he gets older, as far as he will be concerned, Grandpa always had a boyfriend, he just did. You treat it like it is not a big deal and Matt will not ever think it is a big deal.
Good luck with MIL. The voyeristic part of me would like to be the fly on the wall for that introduction.
I actually did a double take when I read the title of your post. I agree, Matt probably won't think it's a big deal if no one else acts like it is.
Your poor MIL. How awful and unfair for her.
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Luckily MIL is not meeting the boyfriend anytime soon (at least not during this visit). They all live in Arizona so it is just the FIL and boyfriend coming to visit. We won't keep the visit a secret though so she will be asking me lots of questions about him.
MIL originally took the news really hard at first BUT she is so much better off now. She lost a ton of weight, met a bunch of new friends, has a boyfriend (who finds her attractive). She really has blossomed now that they are divorced. We were worried about how she would get along but it seems it has freed her.
In total agreement - Matthew will never know the difference. I'm glad your FIL is happy and has found his path. But I feel for your MIL too - it has got to be hard. Talk about a 360....
Wishing I was there as well - yes, I'm sick......
I would imagine it was freeing both of them. I would think that for MIL looking back on her marriage, knowing what she knows now, so much more makes sense that she now knows wasn't even about her even though she probably thought so at the time.
Ditto PPs, if it you and DH don't act like it's a big deal, Matty wont give it a second thought. I hope MIL can do the same - at least in front of Matty.
That's awesome. I have to admit, I was picturing her sitting alone and lonely in her house. But like Noelle said, living with a closeted gay man must not have been easy. And how demoralizing it could be, thinking that your husband is not attracted to YOU, when in reality, he's just not attracted to women...
That actually was my first impression also, esp. with the issue you were having with her adjusting and finding a home in her range. I didn't really see her as the "resilient" type. But with your description, I could definately see how it would be freeing and she could "blossom".
That's awesome!
I have been through that myself a bit (though not 40 years of it! wowza!). and he is still in the closet and probably will be until either he dies or his parents do. I was super angry at first...and now I am just disappointed that i didn't see it. She must beat herself up a lot about that part too.
A high school boyfriend was gay but he came out in college. I guess my FIL is proof it is never too late to come out.
My MIL really did wonder if everyone knew except for her. For DH and I it was more of an "ah, well that explains a few things" but I always prided myself on my gaydar and I had no idea.
Yeah - she still has the house hang up - that is still something that needs to be worked out.