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1st Trimester
2nd time moms with overbearing IL/parents
When I was preg with DD, we allowed everyone to participate with part of the pregnancy and hospital stay. After going through all of that, I want to limit more this time. That means only DH and myself will go to dr visits including u/s. I don't want anyone to visit at the hospital, I got NO rest last time due to visits of the MIL who brought Stepsons and stayed hours.
Is there anyone who will be limiting more after your last pregnancy/delivery?
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Re: 2nd time moms with overbearing IL/parents
Hell yes. People can visit in the hospital maybe, but they will not be lining the hall as I'm wheeled to my room from surgery nor will they be permitted to come and go as they please from the hospital room.
It's L&D, not happy hour.
Me too!
I had the exact same problem with the IL's basically inviting themselves into my recovery room and camping out like it was a freakin family reunion. (I was in labor for 48 hours and recovering from major surgery, but no, I'm totally in the mood to entertain you! And please, feel free to eat my food after the cafeteria is closed. grrrrrrr)
Luckily, we live on the opposite coast from them now. (They live in Oregon, DH is stationed in Virginia.) So there's absolutely no way they'll see us or the new baby until we get on a plane and come visit them. Plus, my parents will be tasked out with watching DS, so even more quiet time in the hospital for me lol
My first delivery was a free for all...people just showed up univited(friends and family) and our hospital policy is as long as they are out of the way of personel in the room, they could stay. I did not want to be mean, so I let them stay. That said, I hit transition and kicked everybody out. After the baby was born, the nurse allowed them back in to say hi then booted them all back out(till this day, I still hear about that mean nurse lol).
Second delivery, my mother and two close friends showed up, univited again. And again, one by one kicked them out as they started to annoy me. My labor was so long, they left before baby was born and we only called my mother when the baby was born. Nobody was invited back to the hospital, I made everyone wait until we were home to come meet new baby.
This has earned me the "mean pg woman" title among friends and family, who think of pregnancy and delivery as a "village" activity. This go around, I have been loud and explicit that no one is invited, the only person who will know when I go into labor will be my mother, and that is only because she is watching our sons. Having people around is distracting and that's the last thing I need in labor or bonding with the new baby. They can wait the day or two it takes us to get out of the hospital.
I actually had an amazing nurse who told me that if visitors got out of hand and I wanted people to go because I was tired or if I wanted to bf or anything to say a word (ours was pineapple, so I'd ask if there was pineapple juice in the fridge) and she would clear everyone out.
I just wanted to drop in to show some support to you guys...you need to make sure and have the birth experience YOU want and that includes how you spend the time after. Be firm and kind, and if people don't understand...screw'em! By sis actually wanted to bring one of her guy friends that I didn't know to the room the day I had Livy. What?! She just didn't get that my boobs were hanging out and I was bleeding. Not pretty.
That said, also consider looking into a doula. They can be invaluable in creating the experience you want. Let them know ahead of time what you want for visitor and they'll gladly enforce it FOR you!
Good luck! Happy and healthy 10 months to you all!!
I totally wish that I could get away with getting to be alone in the hospital. I was fortunate enough that people called before they showed up, and that my hospital was on the opposite side of town from where everyone lived, but it was like a train stating. At one point I think there was 11 people in my room.
My family is completely overwhelming. I think my mom is FINALLY getting the not so subtle hints that I have been telling her saying that it is not ok with me that she texts me wanting to know if my ultrasound was vaginal or not, or texting me 11 times a day asking what the dr said AGAIN.
Fortunately, I have just the right amount of b*tchiness in me that my MIL asks before coming over, or showing up at the hospital. I appreciate that she respects me and my household.