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Natural Birth
DaisyJanie
member
Hello! Deciding on a provider... (long, sorry)
DaisyJanie
member
Hi all, I've been lurking here for several weeks but I haven't posted yet. I'm 13 weeks along, and still deciding on a method, place, provider, etc. I started out going to my regular OB/GYN, but got the feeling that he didn't attend a lot of natural births, even though he said he was supportive of it. So I made my next appointment with a midwife in the same practice as my previous dr.
I think she's a lot more medically minded than I would like. I told her I was looking into the hypnobabies method, and she said she didn't know much about that, and didn't seem particularly familiar with any hypnobirthing method. She also said that she didn't think I should get so focused on the one day (of the birth) that I forget that going home with a healthy baby is the important thing. She said she equated it to women that get so focused on the wedding that they forget about the marriage. I was kind of insulted. I wish I'd said that it wasn't the same at all, because the decisions I make for labor can affect the health of both me and my baby, so it's kind of way more important than favors at a wedding or some silly thing.
So... I guess I'll be looking into the birth center we have here. I kind of doubt my insurance pays for it, but we'd be paying a lot out of pocket for a hospital birth so it might not be that much different. I don't know what to do if it's a lot more expensive, or if my DH isn't comfortable with it. (He is NOT comfortable with a home birth, at least for our first child. And I'm not sure I would want one in our tiny house anyway.) I had really hoped the hospital-based midwife would be the right decision for us.
Sorry this is long, but I'm glad I typed it out - when I started I thought I was considering staying with the midwife for a few more visits, but now that I go over it again, it really makes me mad all over again and realize I've got to start looking at other options. Thoughts?
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Re: Hello! Deciding on a provider... (long, sorry)
That midwife sounds more like a medwife to me. Seems more common with midwifes in practices along with doctors- I'm assuming she's a nurse-midwife? It seems they are more likely (though not all) just from what I've read on here to be just as medically minded or pro-intervtion as some doctors. I have a certified midwife and she absoloutly knows what hypnobirthing is- I find it odd that mw didn't.
I also would be insulted by what she said. How rude and beside the point! I have never heard any mother, no matter what birthing method of views they had, to say a healthy baby wasn't their FIRST priority!
I would look into the birth center thing. Plus, you live in a big city, right? I bet you have more than one birth center within a reasonable distance. We drive an hour to see our mw at the birthcenter. Would you consider traveling?
You can take a tour of the birthcenter, bring a list of questions to interview the mw and maybe your DH will feel more comfortable once he sees the place and how capable she is? As for the cost, we will pay a little over 3,000 for our prenatal care & birth (plus two postpartum checks). That's all out of pocket. Our insurance won't cover too much but after thinking about it, we decided it's worth it. A hospital may be cheaper but add in possible intervtions, medications, etc... and the rate can go way up.
Good luck and let me know if you have any questions
Loss #6 2014 Loss #7 (chemical) 2014
~DS Born! 2009~
~DD Born! 2013~
Sounds like you are on the right track! The birth center sounds like something to look into. We thought about it but it's an hour away from us and the excellent hospital here so we decided on a home birth. You'll have to weigh all of the pros and cons (writing it out helps) and come up with what will work best for you guys.
Thanks! Yes, you're right, she's a Certified Nurse Midwife. Hypnobirthing is not very common here, but I was pretty surprised she was only vaguely aware of the concept.
The birth center is the only one in my area. The location is not as convenient for me as the OB practice, especially for checkups, but I'm sure I could work it out. DH would probably get on board if I'm serious about it. They have info sessions once a week and I think they go over financial stuff as part of that so that should help. I don't know if I can make it up there before my next midwife appointment, so maybe I'll just keep that appt. and look into switching in January.
Looking forward to learning more on this board!
I'd definitely check out the birth center as you've got nothing to lose by attending their info sessions. My birth center is covered by my insurance - you could probably call ahead to your insurance and find out. In any case, my birth center birth is cheaper pre-insurance than my hospital birth since I'm not paying for the hospital stay and services.
Good luck finding the right fit!
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Just saw where you're located--I was very close to N. Charleston up til a year ago, and lived in the greater Chas. area most of my life. I know it's a bit further out, but you might want to check with one or more of the hospitals downtown--my brothers were both delivered there(one at one hospital, the other at a different one because the first didn't like having siblings in the room), and my mom had all four of us naturally.
I'm not familiar enough with any OBs in the area, but have you checked with any family practitioners? That's what my mom did with my first brother, and the doctor who delivered him was the same one who looked after my parents and us kids otherwise, as well--he taught at MUSC for years, and when we moved back to the area after a couple years away, he recommended some former students of his who'd opened up their own practice(Palmetto Primary in Summerville). One of them was my Dr from about third grade on, and I'd trust her a lot.
Thanks for this info! I hadn't thought about the downtown hospitals much even though I work downtown, because I just assumed MUSC would be very medically minded and maybe more geared toward high-risk deliveries. I'll check into it.
Family practice is a good idea too, I don't have a regular general practitioner here so I'm not sure how I would go about finding one that does deliveries, but it's probably worth a look. Summerville is pretty far from me, but thanks for the rec
It depends a lot on your Dr, I think--I just did a search and it looks like Dr. Garr(our old dr) is still with MUSC, though I'm not sure if he's just teaching or also still practicing(he's on the family medicine faculty). A quick visit to their website also shows an affiliated practice in N. Chas with two CNMs and two OBs, one of whom is also a certified lactation consultant.
The MU hospital also has a really great(or at least it used to be) pediatric clinic--I have fond memories of trying to "sacrifice" my little brother to the nurses when it came time for our shots, to buy me time to hide.