Community› The Bump Message Boards› Working Moms
Working Moms
New Discussion

How do you respond when...

SimDohSimDoh
in Working Moms

Today while waiting for the copy machine, another co-worker (who has 6 kids) asked if I found a good day care for baby. I told her about it, saying all positive things, and explaining how lucky i was to have found such a great arrangement. She then says "Ohh I was never able to leave them, I just never wanted anyone else raising my kids"....

I was speechless and just looked at her and left the room, I was affraid I was going to smack her.

Report Reply to Post

Re: How do you respond when...

  • ShufflerChickShufflerChick
    Did she return to work after the kids were "raised" then? I'd just something along the lines of "well I'm glad you were able to work out something that suited you" and end the conversation. That's a pretty rude comment and one that doesn't leave much room for response.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    I'd ask "So, you never sent them to school?". 

    "Uh, well, yes, of course I did."

    "O.k.- then how is that not letting someone else raise your child?"

     

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

    Report Reply
  • FloF9FloF9 member
    Ugh I wish I could hand out a b*tch slap to every idiot that says this.
    Report Reply
  • SimDohSimDoh
    Well I almost said  "but with you not working and having 6 kids, kept you well below the poverty line, and I chose to work so my one kid can be well above the poverty line". ( I know this based on the information she has talked about in the past)
    Report Reply
  • LJR 84LJR 84 member

    I'm always in shock when someone says something like this- to the point where I can't give a good response.

    My HR Director at my last job said something similar. When I returned to work after my ML she said she just didn't understand how anyone could take a 6-8 week old baby and drop it off at daycare. She said several times that she thought I should just stay home. I just find such comments extremely ignorant...

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • ShufflerChickShufflerChick

    imageLJR 84:

    My HR Director at my last job said something similar. When I returned to work after my ML she said she just didn't understand how anyone could take a 6-8 week old baby and drop it off at daycare. She said several times that she thought I should just stay home. I just find such comments extremely ignorant...

    Did she offer to continue paying you your salary while you stayed home? That's ridiculous.

    Report Reply
  • katesmom73katesmom73

    I may be in the minority here but is it possible she was just talking about her situation?  Why do you let it bother you?  You made a decision to put your dc in daycare b/c that's what's best for your family.  Apparently staying at home was better for her family.  I'm not naive, I understand what you think she was implying (and maybe she was outright implying it) and it probably wasn't the best thing to say to a mom with a kid in daycare.

    I personally acknowledge that my in home daycare person helped "raise" my daughter.  She was with her for 9-10 hours a day - I would hope there was some "raising" going on.  I never, ever felt less than her mother because of that.  And I still had my ups and downs with daycare - I did want to be with her but I liked to work and we needed the money so I made peace with it.  Now she's in 1st grade and away from me for 7 hours a day anyway.

    Report Reply
  • arte79arte79
    I've learned to ignore such comments.  I would end the conversation or change the subject.  Or, just say "good for you."  I'm okay making others feel good about their choice, since nobody can make me feel bad about my choice.  Smile
    Report Reply
  • thatjessiethatjessie
    She would have a gotten a great big Fyou from me! My SIL tried that once. I chewed her up and down and left and right. She didn't speak to me for a couple months but I didn't care, how we raise our kids is our own business not anybody elses.
    Report Reply
  • sgrlsgrl member
    I always smile and say, "Well, that's nice if you have that option!" and then they usually shut up. Not everybody can afford to stay home. Not everybody wants to. But I'd rather them feel a little guilty for saying something so stupid. Angel
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • kilakila
    So by her logic, her husband didn't raise their kids (assuming he works).  Is he aware of that?
    Report Reply
  • cookingdudecookingdude

    she's just saying that b/c she is jealous. SHe has 6 kids and didn't work? She probably couldn't provide them with anything. She's probably got millions in debt.

    If she has 6 grown kids, she's also probably from a different era. Right?

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"