- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Working Moms
aries21
member
people make me feel guilty about putting LO in daycare vs Nanny
aries21
member
in Working Moms
this has annoyed me so much.. first of all it's no one's business but lately since going back to work i have started even believing this. i know its crazy but still 
people say that nanny is so much better for a child (sure if you can afford her) and in day care LO will be sick ( as if he/she won't be otherwise) but the reality is we cannot afford a nanny or me stay home and daycare is the only thing we can afford. i just dont know how to tell people off without literally telling them off! anyone else frustrated by this?
people say that nanny is so much better for a child (sure if you can afford her) and in day care LO will be sick ( as if he/she won't be otherwise) but the reality is we cannot afford a nanny or me stay home and daycare is the only thing we can afford. i just dont know how to tell people off without literally telling them off! anyone else frustrated by this? This discussion has been closed.
Re: people make me feel guilty about putting LO in daycare vs Nanny
sounds like you are starting to feel guilty because your are thinking guilty thoughts. Instead of telling yourself and others that the only reason you are using a day care if financial, tell yourself how much you like the stability, accountability and, the educated teachers that the day care provides. (maybe as opposed to a nanny).
I am struggling with this too, but I try to think of the positive aspects of your situation,
first, you have to realize that most likely, they are justifying their own choices when they say stuff like that.
Second, in my area, a nanny can actually be cheaper than daycare! Nannies don't automatically mean $$$$.
My advice - tell them "Thanks for your opinion, but we're doing what works best for us". Look at them in the eyes and say it firmly. don't offer explanations or defenses. This will probably shut them quicker than anything else.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Nannies aren't always better. DC has it's own benefits - accountability, a certain level of quality, interaction with other children. As for getting sick, they all eventually will get sick and it helps build their immune system.
Dont feel guilty.
My mom tried to guilt me into getting a nanny. We could not afford one, so it was a non-issue. Now that DS has been in DC for over a year, she has said many times that she thinks daycare is good for him because he gets to socialize with other kids.
As PP mentioned, focus on the positive aspects. Getting sick is really the only negative for us--but after reading the CNN article yesterday (post further down), it turns out that is a positive, too!
Who are the people telling you this? I think you have to be comfortable with your choice and tell people you're happy with where you are and cut the conversation off. "We decided to go with daycare and we really like it." The end.
We specifically chose daycare over a nanny. There are reasons to go both ways, so don't assume that a nanny is best. Daycare provides socialization and a center gives you more oversight than leaving your kid (who can't talk) at home with someone else. Some nannies are great, some are not. And not all kids get sick a lot (and even if they do, it's a matter of getting sick now v. when they start school).
People aren't making you feel guilty - YOU are making yourself feel guilty. And since you plainly state that these people are echoing your own thoughts about daycare vs. a nanny - who is at fault?
Either own your own choices or don't.
Her response wasn't harsh, it was matter of fact, which is how all of her responses are.
Big girl panties...wear them...
My kid LOVES her daycare. She gets excited every day to see her teacher and her friends and her TOYS! I don't feel guilty at all for taking her there, even though I miss her!
it's nobody's business but yours and your DH's. Just smile and say, "We're comfortable with our decision!" Good luck!
i know a lot of parents who actually change from a nanny to a daycare - esp once their kids hit about 2y/o - because they learn SO much more (in most cases) at a daycare than with a nanny.
Nannies can be great- but they can suck BIG time and there's nobody there watching them to even know it.... I have zero trust in nannies - and i WAS one - a good one- but I just don't trust anyone enough to be a nanny for my children... without accountability- i would assume they plop my kids in front of the TV all day, never talk to them, etc.
At daycare there are many teachers, a director, other parents coming in/out and the online video cameras we can check if we want --- there is a LOT of accountability...
not only that- they do such amazing things at our daycare- things i would NEVER do at home with my kids - like finger painting with babies that are like 6mo old - cute little foot print artwork, etc.... i would never think of that with babies!
Griffin is in the official "preK" class at daycare now and OMG- the kid learns so much there it is amazing. He's only there 3 days a week and sometimes i feel bad that he's missing those other 2 days!! He has made amazing friends - loves his teachers - has such a great time and will be so prepared for kindergarten.
i have ZERO guilt for sending my kids to daycare... i'd have guilt and worry every single minute if my kids were home with just a nanny every day.
i know there are tons of great nannies- so i'm not bashing anyone who chooses that route --- if you are happy with your nanny- that is a GREAT thing- I just know that I would never be happy enough with one.