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Tell me if anyone else finds this a little weird or even rude...

vlewis515vlewis515 member
in Parenting after a Loss

DH has a friend that has moved out of state. They are both gamers and play the same game. DH uses his desk top for gaming but the graphics card went out on it and I asked him to wait until after the new year to get past the holidays and get my pay back on track. Which he begrudgingly agreed to. He hasn't spoken to this friend (J) in a little while but J asked him to play a game with him and DH told him that 1) he was trying to play only 1 game at a time to not have money flying out the window and 2) that he was having to play on my laptop which is a pain for him so he wanted to wait until he got his graphics card.

J has a very high paying job and is a single, game playing, recluse. So obviously he really wanted DH to play this game so he buys the graphics card and sends it. It shows up today just now with a note that says "Merry Christmas Buddy!" DH was overwhelmed by the gesture...I was too in a different way. I haven't said anything and probably won't to DH but...

Is it just me or does it seem odd to send a present to your friend who has a family just for him. He didn't send individual presents (which I wouldn't expect) or a gift for the family (which I wouldn't expect either), or even one for the baby (wouldn't expect either). Really I wouldn't expect him to send anything but it's crazy to me that it seems ok to him to forget his friends family and just send him a present. Granted it benefits him too but it just offended me a little. Like Jax and I don't exist to him.

I know it sounds like looking a gift horse in the mouth (because it's $100 that's not coming out of my family's budget to buy the graphics card) but still it's just odd to me and a little rude. 

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Re: Tell me if anyone else finds this a little weird or even rude...

  • roundtheworldgirlroundtheworldgirl member
    I don't really think it's rude to send a gift to your friend.  If I was required to send gifts for the whole family, I'd never send anything.  E.g. I buy Christmas gifts for two of my closest girlfriends every year.  Sometimes it's something from a country I've visited (like scarves from Afghanistan or amber from Russia).  One year I knit them both hats.  I don't send gifts for their Hs though.  I don't think that's weird, but maybe I'm the rude one.
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  • BigSar1BigSar1
    It doesn't sound like this is really a christmas gift. I looks to me like DH friend wanted to play the game with him and if that meant needing to buy a card for him then so be it. He prob could easily afford it so he just did it and called it a christmas gift.
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  • JenPVHJenPVH
    I don't see anything wrong with buying a gift for your friend.  I will only feel offended if that friend was also a close friend of mine.
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  • jen-dalejen-dale member
    imageJenPVH:
    I don't see anything wrong with buying a gift for your friend.  I will only feel offended if that friend was also a close friend of mine.
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  • lil_rhodylil_rhody member
    i think its fine
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  • someflower6someflower6 member

    aw, he missed his buddy.

    i think it's kinda sweet. a little weird and slightly nerdy, yes, but they're boys and boys are like that. don't bother analyzing the level of weirdness or if he shoulda coulda woulda sent gifts to the rest of the fam-- it's an exercise in futility.

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  • vlewis515vlewis515 member

    imageBigSar1:
    It doesn't sound like this is really a christmas gift. I looks to me like DH friend wanted to play the game with him and if that meant needing to buy a card for him then so be it. He prob could easily afford it so he just did it and called it a christmas gift.

    I think this too. But I guess I'm offended because he called it a Christmas gift. We have always sent gifts to everyone in the family not just one person. I can totally see doing a 20 dollar gift exchange with your girlfriends at a get together away from the families, but this just seemed different from that. Like would you go to friends house and give her a gift for her to open in front of her H and kids, like "Here you go and nothing for you other people!"

    As I said I don't want anything from him, I just found the gesture and method a little odd.

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  • vlewis515vlewis515 member
    imagesomeflower6:

    aw, he missed his buddy.

    i think it's kinda sweet. a little weird and slightly nerdy, yes, but they're boys and boys are like that. don't bother analyzing the level of weirdness or if he shoulda coulda woulda sent gifts to the rest of the fam-- it's an exercise in futility.

    I think you are completely right...I'm trying to overanalyze boys...that crap never woorks out! LOL

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  • KelleyBeanKelleyBean member
    My first reaction is that he's lonely and wants to game with your husband. It's actually made me feel kinda bad for him.
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  • UseonfireUseonfire

    imageBigSar1:
    It doesn't sound like this is really a christmas gift. I looks to me like DH friend wanted to play the game with him and if that meant needing to buy a card for him then so be it. He prob could easily afford it so he just did it and called it a christmas gift.

    I think this is exactly what happened.  It benefits DH's friend to enable your DH to play, so he simply sent the graphics card and called it an Xmas gift. I bet he would have done the same thing if it were another time in the year, too.  

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  • isacdimi10isacdimi10 member

    DH has a friend very much like your DH's we all play the same game. His friend has bought him ALL of the expansion packs for the game and he's paid for a crap load of other expensive things.

    It doesn't bother me that he does that because its his money and DH knows he can only play when DD is napping or in bed.

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  • MelissaAB5579MelissaAB5579 member
    I don't consider it rude. It sounds to me like he just misses playing the game with his friend.
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  • biohaz444biohaz444
    imagesomeflower6:

    aw, he missed his buddy.

    i think it's kinda sweet. a little weird and slightly nerdy, yes, but they're boys and boys are like that. don't bother analyzing the level of weirdness or if he shoulda coulda woulda sent gifts to the rest of the fam-- it's an exercise in futility.

    this exactly - I could see my husband doing the same for his friend, and vice versa. He'd probably look at it more as a gift for himself bc he can play with your H now, too... 
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  • PurpleK26PurpleK26 member
    imageBigSar1:
    It doesn't sound like this is really a christmas gift. I looks to me like DH friend wanted to play the game with him and if that meant needing to buy a card for him then so be it. He prob could easily afford it so he just did it and called it a christmas gift.
    This is what I'm thinking too. He probably wouldn't have gotten YH a gift either, cept he wanted his gaming buddy back. Sounds like something my DHs friend would do too, as gaming is how they keep up with eachother.
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