Stay at Home Moms

Do you expect your husband to say thank you?

Most of the time my husband says thank you for cooking dinner, doing the laundry, ironing etc.  However I was wondering to myself last night if I would be upset if he didn't say thank you.  I know 100% that when I was still working I would have been annoyed if/when I felt like he was taking me for granted.  Now that I stay at home I feel like the household is my responsibility just like going to work and providing for our family is his responsibility.  I guess I'm asking because I certainly don't say "thank you for working so hard" to him nearly as often as he thanks me for the things I do.
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Re: Do you expect your husband to say thank you?

  • I guess I don't really "expect" anything. Keeping tabs of "thank yous" is a little strange to me.  I just assume that he is the same caring person that I married, and we treat each other with respect in general...
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  • We both say thank you to one another a lot.  I think frequent thank you go along way.  And sure, if he never said it to me, I think I would probably get annoyed pretty quickly. 
  • I do thank my husband for working so hard to support our family and he tells me thank you for doing my job, he also makes the kids thank me for dinner. To me it shows he respects the job i do and I repect the job he does.
  • Not every day for every single thing, but he says it occasionally. 
    Adrian 7.6.07 - ADHD, Disruptive Behavior Disorder, Learning Disability-NOS
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  • I don't expect a thank you everyday or even every week however I do notice if a lengthy amount of time goes by without the work I do being acknowledged in some way.  I do thank him often for the work he does to support us so I guess I expect some occasional gratitude in return....
  • He usually thanks me for dinner.
  • Nah I don't expect it for those types of things. He does thank me for dinner fairly often. Once he thanked me for putting up the laundry and it felt kinda odd. I do expect it if I bring him something or hand him something or he asks for my help like to hold the door open for him to bring something in. I think that's common courtesy and I want our boys to do that. I do think being appreciative is a good idea.
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  • My DH says thank you every once and a while and I make sure to tell him thanks when he does something he doesn't normally do.

    The other day I was having a bad day because LO wanted to be held so I couldn't get things done. I asked our oldest DD to pick up the dishes from the table and she says "I always have to do everything." Before I could reply H said "No mommy usually picks up after all of us, sweeps/mops, washes laundry and dishes, plus she takes care of you and does other things, you should be more thankfull and do what she asks espessially when the baby is having a bad day." I was so shoked I cried because I was going to reply " No young lady I do everything."  Sorry I got started.

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  • The only time I do is when I cook dinner every night. He always says it though so when he doesn't I automatically assume he hates dinner. That's why I expect him to say it. The only other time I would expect it is when I go out of my way to do something nice. But it would be awkward if every time I cleaned or did something around the house he would say thank you. It would be like me showing up at his job and everytime he finished a work task I'd say thank you.
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  • ***Lurking WM with SAHD husband***

    I usually thank DH for things like cooking dinner/laundry/etc.  I think he appreciates it, but doesn't expect it.  He doesn't usually thank me for working, but he does thank me nights/weekends when I contribute to the household stuff.   I guess I don't find it odd that he doesn't thank me for work...I can 'see' I'm appreciated at work because other people tell me if I'm doing a good job, I get my paycheck, etc., whereas if we don't tell each other we appreciate the stuff around the house, who will, KWIM?


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  • imagebabypuplove:
    I guess I don't really "expect" anything. Keeping tabs of "thank yous" is a little strange to me.  I just assume that he is the same caring person that I married, and we treat each other with respect in general...

    This.  I'd have to be in a pretty pissed-off mood to start wondering about whether he said thank you or not and if that's the case, the issue is deeper.  

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  • I don't expect him to thank me for everything, but I appreciate it when he does. I also try to be intentional about thanking him for working so hard to support our family.
    J - 9/6/09 L and A - 1/17/12
  • imagesusanmosley:
    We both say thank you to one another a lot.  I think frequent thank you go along way.  And sure, if he never said it to me, I think I would probably get annoyed pretty quickly. 

    Same here. I'm not keeping tabs on thank yous. It's nice to feel appreciated. And it goes both ways.

    imageimageLilypie Fourth Birthday tickersLilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • imagebabypuplove:
    I guess I don't really "expect" anything. Keeping tabs of "thank yous" is a little strange to me.  I just assume that he is the same caring person that I married, and we treat each other with respect in general...

    Ditto. 

    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • We thank each other here and there and he is always saying how hard my work is compared to his LOL!

    I do also thank him for working...if he didn't work his a$$ off i would not be able to WAHM 20 hours a week and raise our girls. 

    This is my dream job bieng wifey and mommy.

  • I don't think we thank each other enough, honestly. This is kind of a good reminder that we need to do so. We definitely take each other for granted....

  • imagebabypuplove:
    I guess I don't really "expect" anything. Keeping tabs of "thank yous" is a little strange to me.  I just assume that he is the same caring person that I married, and we treat each other with respect in general...

    Same here. 

    That being said, he does always thank me for making dinner, or if I go out of my way to get him something that he could use.  He will also occasionally tell me that he thinks that I am a great mom and thanks me for doing all that I do for the kids.

  • imageMrsBalletStar05:
    Not every day for every single thing, but he says it occasionally. 

    This.  I think I would get annoyed if he said it all the time.

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  • I don't expect him to say it, but it is nice to hear.  I just get frustrated because any thing he does around here he thinks he deserves a thank you for, yet he doesn't thank me usually.  It's a two-way street IMO.
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  • On a daily basis - no.

    On a really great day when I got a million things done and he comes home to a clean house and dinner on the stove -yeah. Or at least some sort of positive comment (wow, everything looks amazing, etc)

    For dinner, I really really really want some sort of comment, but that's more for feedback. DH will basically eat anything that isn't burnt into pure carbon. And he'd try to eat it even then. So it's hard to know what he actually likes, and of course I'd like to cook more stuff he likes and less stuff that's just so-so to him.

    - Jena
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  • We are a very "thank you" family, as a rule.  I thank him for working so hard to support us, and for taking care of the finances, and he thanks me for keeping the house clean and making dinner.  It gets said a lot, and for me, at least, it's really nice to continually be reminded that what I do matters and is appreciated.

    Miles just learned to sign thank you about three weeks ago, and he uses it for everything.  I love that he's already learning to be polite, even if he doesn't understand why, yet. 

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  • DH doesnt say thank you for everything.. such as laundry, dishes, picking up, cleaning...Umm,I guess he only tells me thank you when I make him food, or get him something if he asks... Im sure he does every now and then..I cant say it bothers me, but it is nice to hear
  • imagesusanmosley:
    We both say thank you to one another a lot.  I think frequent thank you go along way.  And sure, if he never said it to me, I think I would probably get annoyed pretty quickly. 

    This.  

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  • I don't expect it for normal/daily tasks for our home or our child, but when I do a lot for him in particular it's nice to hear--for instance dropping off/picking up his dry cleaning or making his lunch to take to work, or his ironing his dang work pants (he loves these pants from Express men that shrink if you ever put them in the dryer so they need to be air dryed then he needs to have the crease down the middle so between the insane wrinkly mess and the specific crease it can take me 2 hours to iron 5-6 pairs of pants).  I know none of this are a big deal, but a thank you is nice every so often.

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