If you aren't doing Santa

madameladauphine · December 2010

What are you going to tell your LO when they are older so that they don't "ruin" it for the other kids at school/daycare?

GingerBabyJ · December 2010

I am doing santa, just wanted to tell you A is so freaking cute!

madameladauphine · December 2010

Lol awww thanks!!

A S-ski · December 2010

We won't be doing Santa. I hadn't thought about what I would say to LO but you really should have a plan. My parents didn't do Santa either and I had never heard of him when I went to kindergarten (we never went anywhere or watched TV). I came home and told my mom about this great Santa character that all my friends were talking about and she got all kinds of mad and told me he wasn't real. The next day I went to school and told everyone. My mom of course got a call from my teacher. The whole thing was pretty ugly. I currently don't have a plan but would like to hear what others have to say.

mfransdell · December 2010

His eyes are so bright in that picture! I guess you have plenty of time to think about how you should bring it up. Are you avoiding all fictional characters? Like the tooth fairy, easter bunny, etc? You'll probably just have to explain to him as simply as possible that though he isnt real many children believe he is when they are young and it would make them upset to hear otherwise. Hmmm, Thats a tricky one!

hisaak · December 2010

We are still undecided on Santa, currently leaning towards letting them believe until they first ask us whether or not he is real.

That said, if we choose to not do Santa we will explain to our kids that Santa represents the Spirit of giving, etc and that in many families, it is a fun tradition to give gifts from Santa. And that sometimes, mommies and daddies choose to let their kids believe that Santa is real as part of this - an imagination game when they are little. And that because of this, those who "know" Santa isn't real are asked to be a part of this game - keeping it a secret until those mommies and daddies choose to share about Santa with their kids.

Not sure if that is the best way - I am curious to see how others will handle it!

Shelf Elf · December 2010

Naughty, naughty madameladauphine! Of course Santa is real! Tsk, tsk! But since you don't believe, he's telling me no old-timey toys or eggnog for you!

madameladauphine · December 2010

mfransdell:
His eyes are so bright in that picture! I guess you have plenty of time to think about how you should bring it up. Are you avoiding all fictional characters? Like the tooth fairy, easter bunny, etc? You'll probably just have to explain to him as simply as possible that though he isnt real many children believe he is when they are young and it would make them upset to hear otherwise. Hmmm, Thats a tricky one!

Nope, no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy either. I know I sound like the worlds lamest Mom right now, but we will still have an easter egg hunt and we do have a stocking for A, but the gifts in it aren't from Santa.

madameladauphine · December 2010

Shelf Elf:
Naughty, naughty madameladauphine! Of course Santa is real! Tsk, tsk! But since you don't believe, he's telling me no old-timey toys or eggnog for you!

DAMMIT! I really like that eggnog.......what ever shall I do now?

madameladauphine · December 2010

hisaak:

We are still undecided on Santa, currently leaning towards letting them believe until they first ask us whether or not he is real.

That said, if we choose to not do Santa we will explain to our kids that Santa represents the Spirit of giving, etc and that in many families, it is a fun tradition to give gifts from Santa. And that sometimes, mommies and daddies choose to let their kids believe that Santa is real as part of this - an imagination game when they are little. And that because of this, those who "know" Santa isn't real are asked to be a part of this game - keeping it a secret until those mommies and daddies choose to share about Santa with their kids.

Not sure if that is the best way - I am curious to see how others will handle it!

Hmm I like that. I'm making a note of this!

CalinsBride · December 2010

We are going to tell DS that everyone celebrates the holidays differently, and everyone has different beliefs, and that it isn't nice to tell others that their beliefs are wrong. DS will be taught to understand the fact that while we don't believe in Santa Claus in our house, other people believe in Santa Claus in their homes. We aren't even going to specifically tell him there is no Santa. We're just going to tell him that our family celebrates the holidays by focusing on Jesus' birth, and that while other kids may get their gifts from Santa, DS gets his from us.

katiekate1974 · December 2010

Just let your kid have the joy of childhood.

madameladauphine · December 2010

katiekate1974:
Just let your kid have the joy of childhood.

Don't tell me what to do.

CalinsBride · December 2010

madameladauphine:

katiekate1974:
Just let your kid have the joy of childhood.

Don't tell me what to do.

I think faith, and the Christmas story, are plenty of reasons to have joy around the holidays. I don't need to lie to my child in order for them to love Christmas. I have a much more exciting, enticing and illuminating story to share with them Hmm

You can do whatever you want, but don't tell me how to raise my kid or the gloves come off.

blushingbrideoct07 · December 2010

katiekate1974:
Just let your kid have the joy of childhood.

This response is pretty silly. With that logic Jewish children must not have a joyful childhood. Or any other non Santa celebrating religions/cultures.

Heck Santa wasn't celebrated in most European countries until recently.... they sure do still have a joyful childhood.

kit443 · December 2010

hisaak:

We are still undecided on Santa, currently leaning towards letting them believe until they first ask us whether or not he is real.

That said, if we choose to not do Santa we will explain to our kids that Santa represents the Spirit of giving, etc and that in many families, it is a fun tradition to give gifts from Santa. And that sometimes, mommies and daddies choose to let their kids believe that Santa is real as part of this - an imagination game when they are little. And that because of this, those who "know" Santa isn't real are asked to be a part of this game - keeping it a secret until those mommies and daddies choose to share about Santa with their kids.

Not sure if that is the best way - I am curious to see how others will handle it!

I think this is a good way of going about it. We don't do santa (Jewish) so I imagine we will do a mix of this and Callins answer.

SFAug07 · December 2010

blushingbrideoct07:

katiekate1974:
Just let your kid have the joy of childhood.

This response is pretty silly. With that logic Jewish children must not have a joyful childhood. Or any other non Santa celebrating religions/cultures.

Heck Santa wasn't celebrated in most European countries until recently.... they sure do still have a joyful childhood.

Being from Europe myself, I can say that's true. But we did have the Christchild (Baby Jesus) who brings the gifts. And we did have the St. Nikolaus who is actually the same guy as Santa Claus who comes on December 6 to bring some sweets and treats if you've been good. Sadly, this has changed due to the joys of American TV.

TommysGirl56 · December 2010

CalinsBride:
madameladauphine:

katiekate1974:
Just let your kid have the joy of childhood.

Don't tell me what to do.

I think faith, and the Christmas story, are plenty of reasons to have joy around the holidays. I don't need to lie to my child in order for them to love Christmas. I have a much more exciting, enticing and illuminating story to share with them

You can do whatever you want, but don't tell me how to raise my kid or the gloves come off.

I like this answer.

sunnyday016 · December 2010

CalinsBride:
We are going to tell DS that everyone celebrates the holidays differently, and everyone has different beliefs, and that it isn't nice to tell others that their beliefs are wrong. DS will be taught to understand the fact that while we don't believe in Santa Claus in our house, other people believe in Santa Claus in their homes. We aren't even going to specifically tell him there is no Santa. We're just going to tell him that our family celebrates the holidays by focusing on Jesus' birth, and that while other kids may get their gifts from Santa, DS gets his from us.

I like this philosophy. I'm not going to be super strict about limited her exposure to Santa or anything, and if my parents want to give her a gift from Santa that's fine by me. I just don't want Santa to be the central focus of the holiday.

katiekate1974 · December 2010

CalinsBride:
madameladauphine:

katiekate1974:
Just let your kid have the joy of childhood.

Don't tell me what to do.

I think faith, and the Christmas story, are plenty of reasons to have joy around the holidays. I don't need to lie to my child in order for them to love Christmas. I have a much more exciting, enticing and illuminating story to share with them

You can do whatever you want, but don't tell me how to raise my kid or the gloves come off.

Simmer , simmer. LOL I meant to put a winky smiley, but AJ hit his head and was crying...I didn't even realize it posted. I came back and this thread was still open. Did not mean to cause a big rukus. Dude, he's your kid, do what you want.

kit443 · December 2010

Hehe KK - winkey smiles do make everything much lighter

katiekate1974 · December 2010

kit443:
Hehe KK - winkey smiles do make everything much lighter

That's all I'm sayin. And OMG LOVE the new Monk siggy!

TommysGirl56 · December 2010

kit443:
Hehe KK - winkey smiles do make everything much lighter

Yup!

alybookgirl · December 2010

We are going to tell DD about the real St. Nicholas (sp?) and tell her that some people choose to celebrate his good deeds by celebrating Santa. She will know that there is no Santa and we have asked DH's family to not give gifts from Santa or ask her what he is bringing her (my family never did Santa with us so they are cool with our decision). They think it's weird but ultimately respect our right to teach her what we want. DD will not believe in any imaginary/magical characters like the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc. We feel that it is so important to tell her the truth always and teaching her to believe in things that aren't real doesn't sit right with us.

Anyway, to answer OP's question, we will tell her not to ruin it for other children (like her cousins on DH's side). She will know the truth but also know that it is it up the other children's parents to teach them when the time is right.

And as a child that never believed in Santa or the tooth fairy or Easter bunny I can say that childhood and holidays are just as much fun when you are celebrating the true meaning of it all.

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