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any do(plan to) non CIO sleep training?
I am not 100% decided on what type of sleep training I will do with DD. I have read about Ferber and would like to learn more about some non CIO methods.
If you have done or plan to do any of these please share what method you used, how it worked, etc.
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Re: any do(plan to) non CIO sleep training?
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
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This, pretty much exactly:) We are just starting with NCSS, but doing it very slowly. We have pretty much gone with the flow in regards to sleep (co-sleeping, bedsharing, in the crib, in the pack n play, wherever!) and change the current method only when it no longer works for us.
I will be reading The no-cry sleep solution for some guidance. I have heard great reviews on this book.
We bedshare and our DD is a toddler, so not so sure this will help you but here is what we plan on doing. We will be converting DD's crib to a toddler bed because we have been bedsharing. I will probably start of just spending time in her room on her bed for reading time. Then I will start of sleeping with her in her bed. I know once I leave her in her bed..she will probably wake up a few times every 2-3 hrs but that is ok with us. Hopefully, she wil go longer sleeping in her bed and we will all be in our own rooms. Truthfully, I think I will be the one having to CIO...I love bedsharing!!!
Also here are some suggestions a friend posted on fb from a blog of things to try as alternatives to CIO...this probably won't work for every child but I think it is good thing to try first...
1. Dance together. There is something soothing about dancing with your baby for both parties. Put on some music and sway slowly, spin slightly, dip, whirl. Dancing is a favorite calming activity in our house. I often combine it with number 4! ******this has worked for us******
2. Wear your baby. My number one happy baby trick of all time is a baby sling. If you don't wear your baby often ask a friend who does for help learning the ins and outs of babywearing. Babywearing creates a womblike atmosphere for many babies that allows them to relax and return to the safety of that experience. I call it my baby reset button, because it removes them from the stimuli and stresses that can overwhelm them day by day. Babies who are worn cry less.
3. Go out. So maybe it's 2 a.m., but no one ever said you can't go wander the aisles of the 24 hour grocery store. Babies are people too and sometimes a change of scenery is exactly what both parties need. Don't forget for some babies a car trip is magical. ***not sure I would go to the grocery store, but the change of scenery can do the trick if nothing is working for both baby and parents on a bad night***
4. Sing your baby's song. Do you have a special song you sang to your baby in utero or a melody that you hum to him or her? Sometimes this is all it takes to soothe a baby - the sound of a lovely, familiar melody lovingly sung to them.
5. Swaddle and shush. My husband's best baby trick is a great swaddle combined with a rhythmic rocking and shushing in the ear. The trick from The Happiest Baby on the Block has been his number one way to calm our babies during their early months.
6. Offer the breast. If you are a nursing mom, sometimes baby wants to nuzzle and suck even if she isn't hungry. Breasts are nature's pacifier, after all. Yes, this can make you feel like a giant boob sometimes, but remember your nursing time with your child is fleeting. Don't get caught up in timing feedings or not letting baby nurse for comfort. The desire to nurse for comfort won't spoil your baby. It's just another biological means to ensure babies get what they need - the action helps stimulate and maintain milk supply.
7. Check for pain, fever, or illness. Ok, it sounds obvious, but don't forget pain or discomfort is a common reason for crying. While you may not be able to do anything to relieve the pain but offer teething tablets or infant tylenol, your presence does a lot to let baby know they are safe and secure. During times of pain, this is a paramount need for infants, and for care providers the act of trying to soothe is often less stressful than listening to a child cry without intervention.
8. Let your baby sleep with you. If you are a breastfeeding mother, it is safe to co-sleep with your infant as long as you follow simple safety guidelines. This will not ruin a baby's future sleep behaviors nor will it spoil them. It simply meets a need they have at this moment. You will be able to leave your children overnight as they grow old enough to enjoy solids and as long as they are with a sensitive care provider.
9. Get silly. Maybe all you want is baby to go to sleep and all they want is to play. This conflict of interest can be frustrating. Or maybe baby really needs to channel energy and frustration somehow and its coming out as crying. So put on your silly face, do something outrageous - get baby to smile or giggle. Pretty soon all that crying will be laughing. ***this worked for us the other night..DD was up at a random time and was crying..I couldnt' figure out what was wrong..then she wanted to watch a video of silly songs..we danced and sang and got all silly..within 20 minutes she was done..we said goodbye to the video and she went to sleep..weird but it worked****
10. Ask for help. At the end of the day, if you are lucky enough to have a partner, ask them to take the baby and give it a try. Take turns and give each other the support you both need. If you are a single parent, reach out to another mom, family member, or friend. There's a lot of people who want to help you and they'll be happy to lend a hand.
::::::disclaimer..these are just some suggestions I thought would be helpful...not an expert or claiming this blog person is either...:::::
I am not a fan of CIO, but will not say I will never do it...just not in our plans right now and hoping it will never be....each child is different and so is each family..we just need to find what works for us....
I should just always wait for Seasoul to respond.lol..she always puts it down very well written and usually right on the spot on how I feel...
We tried CIO/Ferber a few times and it just didn't work for K. She would cry for hours and never put herself to sleep. I tried the NCSS once and it seemed to work - I put her down drowsy but awake and rubbed her back until she fell asleep - but then she got sick and it all went out the window.
At this point I think she's too old for CIO/Ferber, so I still rock her to sleep. She seems to go in waves. Some weeks she'll be up a few times a night, other times she'll STTN and wake up later then usual. It seems to be related to teething or illness, but who knows.
She's always slept in her crib. We've never bedshared because none of us sleep well that way. So even if I'm rocking her back to sleep a few times a night, she's always sleeping in her own room.
We didn't want to do CIO. We tried it and caved. DH caved more than me.
I have to say that I am not against it and if it works for some on here, then great. I know EVERYONE I work with does it and my friends look weird upon us since we bedshare. To each their own...whatever works for your family.
Whatever you do, you have to stick to it.
For the record, DS is 22m and has some sleep problems. It took him until 11m to sleep longer session 4 hrs straight (!!!) and 11.5m of full night sleeping (IF AND ONLY if we bedshared with him). He wakes up randomly at night looking for us....DS is sleeping with him now. I slept with him while pregnant. For naps, he is horrible to and always was. He does cry for about 5 min right before nap, but I don't consider that CIO really.
With DD, she is 3 m and sleeps really well. She wakes up about once a night and I am happy to have her do that until she is ready to sleep all night. I think she wakes up for comfort, but I'll try not to push that until she is closer to 1 year.
I know they say to start sleep training at 5m (I think), but we weren't ready with DS at 5m or even 11m.
DD is 3m and sleeps better than DS. It is just his personality. He was never drowsy, so the 'put baby in their crib when drowsy' never worked for us. For DD, it works. Each child is different.
We don't do a paci or swaddle either. I agree with seasoul and esther2000. It isn't for everyone what a few of us do and that's OK...
It also helps if you and your DH/SO are on the same page.
We did not do CIO. We are not sure if we did not have to, or we got lucky three times, ect, but we have three children who, at this time sleep pretty well.
We have never (intentionally) put our children to bed asleep, but put them down drowsy. we do go in if they call for us or cry, and address their needs because at this point if they are crying, there is a reason for it, and it will not fade!
I am not saying this to make us sound like super parents, but more to answer that yes, we do not use CIO, and our kids sleep through the night in their own beds usually most nights.
Thanks for all the responses and info ladies! I guess I should have added that DD does STTN. However, she only does that in her RNP. She is starting to try to flip out of it though and we would like her to start sleeping in her crib. I know that once we transition to the crib all night she will be up a lot, this is why I thought we should "sleep train". **if this changes any advice, please add on**
I too don't mind getting up with her through the night, I just hoped there were some methods out there that would help her to sleep in her crib as well as she does in her RNP.
I am off to read NCSS and check out the websites provided, thanks again!
This exactly!!!!
We have never pushed Eliza into anything she wasn't ready for sleepwise. She bedshared with us as a NB because it was clear that she needed to, when she showed signs of sleep independence, we moved her to a cosleeper and then finally to her crib around 7mo and for a little bit she was bedsharing part of the night and crib part of the night.
We have hit a recent rough patch with sleep due to teeth and milestones, but I plan to help her through it - rocking, nursing, patting her back - whatever she needs. It has been a little frustrating because she went from sleeping 12 hrs straight to waking multiple times at night again and I am hearing a lot about how I "need" to sleep train & let her CIO, but Dh & I are NOT comfortable with that at all, so we will keep doing what we are doing - responding to her needs and cues.
GOOD LUCK!!