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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I'm so frustrated with his eating.
I need help.
He is SO behind with food. Every meal is purees. He will eat some actual vegetables occasionally, (maybe 3 peas, 1 green bean, and one slice of carrots) and he loves foods like goldfish and the Gerber crunchies. He ate a piece of cheese once.
If he had it his way, he would eat only milk and crunchies.
We are trying so hard to introduce actual foods. He resists so strongly. He screams, pushes our hands away, and sometimes he will gag and throw up. The pedi says keep trying, but when he gags and throws up at several meals, it gets seriously stressful for everyone involved.
At this rate, we will be sending him to preschool with freaking baby food.
I see pictures of other toddlers covered in spaghetti, using their own spoon, and my son would just rather not eat.
Any advice? We are both getting really frustrated with his eating habits.
Thanks.
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Re: I'm so frustrated with his eating.
Hey! We're in the same boat!!! If Kaitlyn had her way, she would live off purees, puffs, grated cheese and yogurt. She's so picky she won't eat the chunks of fruit in her yogurt. I can't even get her to drink water...only milk.
I'll make her grilled cheese sandwiches, quesadillas and scrambled eggs and they end up on the floor for the dogs. I've done macaroni and cheese and she'll suck off the cheese and spit out the noodles. If she actually sort of likes something it doesn't last very long and after a few bites, she's over it.
I'm at a loss too.
I'm so sorry you're struggling with the same thing, but I'm so glad I'm not alone.
Keep offering and don't let it get to you. He really won't eat purees forever. When DS was being picky and only seemed to like starches, he'd eat the carrot sticks from Weelicious. Also, will he drink smoothies? There are some great recipes that incorporate veggies. It's still essentially a puree, but a little different, I suppose.
It's so frustrating, but I promise you that it will get better.
Thank you SO much. He won't drink a smoothie (he will only drink milk, and still from a bottle) but now I feel better about moving forward.
Thanks for the advice.
DS was the exact same way, he wouldn't eat unless it was beige, crunchy and a carb. It was like one day he decided he wanted to start trying new things. Maybe your DS will snap out of it too? He still won't touch a green bean if his life depended on it, but he will try carrots now.
He also won't use a spoon, at all. It's getting better slowly, I hope your DS does the same thing. I know how frustrating it is.
I also want to say that I still give DS toddler formula because he doesn't eat enough regular food.
I'm wondering if I should give him toddler formula also... DS has gained weight regularly (although he's a peanut, in my siggy his coat is 3-6m) and at his one year appointment I asked the pedi. He said it was fine to get off formula and switch to milk because the purees are vitamin enriched.
Now I'm doubting this...
ETA: The coat is snug, but I was still shocked that a 3-6m outfit fit him when he's almost 14 months old and was born a day after his due date.
For a short period, I'd cry over DS's eating habits... which got us nowhere. I dreaded every meal and snacktime. It controlled my whole day. DD was a superb eater and I thought I was doing something wrong with DS.
I made myself get over it (not being snarky to you, just my own realization). I had to accept that constantly trying new things and not giving up was all I could do.
If he likes goldfish, try sweet potato or zuchini biscuits, but modify the recipe. Make them small and crunchy. Maybe incorporating different flavors with a famliliar texture will help the process?
My DS would not eat purees of any form, so he was literally eating goldfish and milk all day....that's it. I think if he's eating purees then formula wouldn't be necessary. My pedi said it wouldn't hurt to give him formula if it made me feel better, so we do.
I heard no snark, only helpful suggestions.
I do dread his meal times because it is such a battle. I SAH and the only thing that helps is when DH feeds him. I think it's because DH works so much, I do most of Jack's meals, so when DH feeds him, it's a new adventure.
I'm going to try those new snacks. Thank you!
Oh okay, I feel better now. He eats purees fine, so maybe I should smack myself on the head and listen to the pedi.
Thank you!
I found this blog, https://familyfeedingdynamics.blogspot.com/, when I was beginning to introduce solids to ds. I think her philosophy is based on this person's book, https://www.ellynsatter.com/ellyn-satters-division-of-responsibility-in-feeding-i-80.html. Food is something children can control and it can become a power struggle. I really liked the idea of the division of responsibility between the parent and child. The parent decides when and what the child eats and the childs decides how much.
Ds doesn't eat everything we offer or cooperate all of the time but changing how I think about eating/feeding has made meals much less stressful.
First, try not to get too frustrated. He's not much over a year old and it's not like they have to magically start eating like an adult when they hit 12 months.
I'm sure you've tried tons of things, so I apologize if some of these suggestions seem frustratingly simple.
-I'd try to keep it pretty low stress. Put foods out on his tray for him. If he eats it great, if he doesn't, oh well (for now). Just have a sure win as backup (like a puree)
-Keep in mind that serving sizes for toddlers are very small. 1 tbsp of veggies = 1 serving, so 3 peas a green bean and a slice of carrot might even be a couple servings.
-Have you experimented with spices and flavors? We discovered that DS hates bland food. For example, he won't eat avocado, but he'll eat guacamole. I make a "baby guac" for him - avocado, whole milk yogurt and a bit of salsa. He loves it. He also loves garlic and there are a whole bunch of things that he'll only eat dowsed in tomato sauce. He loves apples cooked soft with cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice. This whole paragraph might be useless to you because it seems like you've got more of a texture issue going on, but thought I'd throw it out there.
-There are a few things that he'll only eat in very specific ways. For example, he'll eat spinach (if it's cooked with garlic or dowsed in tomato sauce) but he'll only eat it if it's off my plate and on my fork. Not sure why. He also won't eat eggs if we just give him eggs, but he'll eat eggs with spinach, garlic, onion and cheese, but again, only if it's off my fork. He'll eat peas (sometimes) but only if I squish them for him first.
-I'm always surprised by what he will and will not eat. Some things he loves one day and hates the next. Based on what I've read this is pretty normal. I'd keep offering things even if you think he won't eat it. He might surprise you.
-I'm sure you've tried this, but try making the purees that he eats more and more chunky until you get to the point that it's basically soft cooked pieces that he could self feed (even if he'll only eat it off a spoon).
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
Thank you so much hero and smilelari!!
I really appreciate it.
My DD has eating issues too. She's refused the bottle - thus EBF only to this day still. She has a dairy allergy so I can't add cheese or butter to any of her food to fatten it up. She hates soy milk. She'll take a few nibbles of this and that and call it a meal. I don't have anything more to add except that you are not alone. You are lucky in that at least you son will eat purees consistently!
Ivana - your DD is so cute in her holiday dress. Would you mind sharing where you bought it?
honestly my daughter was the same way at his age. she would eat peas and carrots out of my food, gerber crunchies and yogurt were about all she would eat on her own and she didnt like anyone to feed her.
eggs are good protein if you can get him to eat that and yogurt is also good. try greek yogurt with fruit puree. bananas. pears. hope I helped a little bit
My ds is an incredibly good eater. But even he didn't eat what you listed at that age. He was just coming off of purees and maybe was eating soft foods. The foods you listed are hard for many kids to eat that young (grilled cheese and quesadillas, esp). So, she's not behind at all.
My son is also really slow taking to table food, too. He is 16 months, and we've been trying diligently since 10 months. He eats a few real foods.
All I can say is, be patient. Offer him food he likes, plus a tiny bit of new food. For DS, too many new foods at once stress hm out. Eat family meals so that he can see you eating a varied diet. Eventually, he will want to try things.
Keep offering foods he has rejected. Don't force him. If he likes purees, keep doing those and let him learn to use a spoon. Try variations of foods he likes. DS likes raisins, so I gave him Craisins, and he loves them.
It is very difficult, but try to keep mealtimes relaxed and calm. There is nothing to be gained from causing him to get upset. Look on the positive side--a few peas and a slice of carrot is better than nothing. One bite is a success! Kids do everything at their own pace. Some are just very cautious when it comes to food.
Good luck!
We are in the same boat. DD will put everything in her mouth chew it and spit it out. She won't swallow hardly anything but purees and sometimes she spits that out too!
It sounds like your LO is texture sensitive and has a sensitive gag reflex. DD has the same texture issues and will not swallow anything she is not 100% comfortable with going down and not gagging or throwing up.
I do 50/50 formula and whole milk. I just keep offering the same finger foods over and over again until she is used to having the same texture in her mouth and will finally swallow it. Perhaps if your LO sees the same exact finger foods everyday he will take the chance? Also DD loves "plum organics" purees because they come in a pouch so she can feed herself (since she won't let me fed her anymore) and still eat. I offer her finger foods first and give her 10-15 min to try her finger foods then I will give her the puree pouch to eat. If I just give her purees she will refuse any finger foods and only suck down the pouch.
My ped reassured me to just be patient. Don't make a huge fuss with them or force them to eat what you want them to eat because it will only push them the wrong way and they will start to associate anxiety with eating.
i understand the frustration. DS isn't that bad, but it's still frustrating when making a reasonably healthy meal and getting DS in the chair and trying to perhaps eat at the same tiime, only to have all of the food end up in the dog's mouth. DS is also skinny enough that the pedi mentioned sticking with higher calorie foods- not that big a worry, but enough that i feel some pressure.
I totally agree that forcing LO to eat will only make it worse. I just keep offering, and in different ways. Lee will eat things one day and not all the next, sometimes he will only feed himself, sometimes he will only eat if we feed him, some days he'll only eat from our plates and/or with our silverware, sometimes he needs to gnaw off of a big piece, other times he wants bite-sized, etc.
Can you try offering some less messy foods on a plate that LO can get at during playtime, so he can try things at will?