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Hawaii Babies
redshoegirl
member
formula feeding
redshoegirl
member
I read Jaime's post down below (which was great encouragement for new mamas), and after a bit of thought, decided I wanted to kick in with some nice words about formula feeding. I'm not saying EBF isn't good - it's absolutely the ideal - but since FF gets such a bad rap, I just wanted to say a few good things about it.
Throughout my entire pregnancy, I was bombarded with the message about breastfeeding. Every doctor, every nurse, every book, every video, every article, every sign in every waiting room I went to told me firmly that "breast was best" and anything else was essentially laziness - a lot of websites even go so far as to call formula "poison".
I understand the need to educate women, especially since in our mothers'/grandmothers' generations, parents were often told that there was no need to breastfeed and formula was the better approach. But I think we've overcompensated to the point where we lay an impossible guilt trip on mothers who, for whatever reason, can't breastfeed.
Before my sons were born, I swore they'd be EBF and I tried everything - everything - to breastfeed. You guys know - you all read my posts. And it didn't work. And I have never, ever felt guilt like that in my life. Breast was best and I couldn't give it to my children. I was a failure as a mother. What kind of useless mama can't even feed her kids?
The Bump is filled with EBF badges in siggies.Yeah, there are a few "bottle fed" ones as well, but you get the sense that those are a bit defensive. Formula feeding mamas aren't allowed to be proud of nourishing their children the best way we can. We're not allowed to say, "Yeah I sat there holding his bottle of formula and felt proud that I was helping my son to be strong and grow." In fact, we're actively encouraged to be ashamed of it by all of those doctors, books, websites, etc. that I mentioned before. No one applauds you for how long you've formula fed.
I'm not trying to be dramatic and absolutely NOT putting down anyone who EBFs and is justifiably proud of it (I was totally proud of myself for even making it 6.5 weeks because that shiznit is HARD!) - I'm just trying to show that the flip side isn't all puppies and rainbows. I've had total strangers tell me that I should be breastfeeding my sons when they see the tops of bottles poking out of my diaper bag. There is so much judgment and so much guilt surrounding formula feeding.
All of this has been pretty negative so far, and I said I was going to say nice things so I guess I'd better do that lol. I'm glad I formula feed. My stress level dropped the minute I stopped desperately struggling to breastfeed. I never got to play with my sons before I turned to 100% formula - I was always nursing or pumping or washing pump parts or something else other than spending time with them. My husband loves getting to feed one boy while I feed the other. It's expensive and I always laugh when I read articles that say it's the "easy way out" (there is NOTHING easy about constantly washing and preparing bottles, not to mention how inconvenient it is to have to go make a bottle vs just whipping out a boob) but I don't regret it. My sons are thriving and happy and that's what matters.
Again, I'm absolutely not putting down anyone planning to, struggling to, or succeeding with breastfeeding - I genuinely think it's awesome and applaud all of you. I just wanted to say a few words from the other side. 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: formula feeding
Thank you for saying it!
As far as the expense of formula goes, I'm pretty sure that pumps, nipple cream, pads and the like are pretty darn expensive too.
I stand next to you and say I too not only FF my baby, but am SO glad that I did
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
We spend about $400 a month on formula (my little men get uber constipated on anything but THE most expensive brand, unfortunately), so I'm guessing that stuff generally comes in under that, but true that some of those things aren't cheap.
How are you, btw? I haven't talked to you in AGES!
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
Thanks.
I'm actually quite proud of sticking it out for even just a month and a half, since that's more than many women with twins manage. Still absolutely no regrets about stopping though lol. 
I wanted to comment on this and I will prob edit this post later to add more, but I wanted to say that it's true, bottle feeding isn't "easy"! It's expensive, time consuming, confusing (what do I mix it with? Tap water? Filetered water? How long can I leave it out before I have to put it in the frige? What is the right temp to warm it up to before I feed to baby? How much do I feed baby? HOw often should I wake him up if he falls asleep like that?), among other things. I felt such a relief when I first supplemented, but so guilty that I felt bad at the same time. It was really great though to let DH do some feedings and bond with him some.
I also wanted to add that except for one time where I thought he had a weird cough(we took him to the doc and he was fine), DS hasn't been sick at all! He's needed motrin/tylenol when teething, but I was really afraid of him being born in the middle of the H1N1 stuff and me not breastfeeding that he would be sick all the time b/c he wouldn't have any immunity.
This is rather rambly, but I wanted to add my 2 cents.
I also want to thank the many ladies on this board who are so supportive of each other, no matter what choices we make for our LOs. It's been nice to have a wonderful place to vent and bounce ideas around and ask for advice.
I remember when you stopped and it was definitely, hands-down, no-doubt-about-it, the best decision you could make for your boys. Raising your kids as best as possible isn't about BFing or FFing--it's about providing everything you can for your baby, making sure he/she is getting enough to eat/drink (bm or formula), spending time and addressing their emotional, mental, physical needs. What's the use of EBFing if all else goes to crap? But if BFing comes more easily to one mom vs another, then good for them, go BF, but it's not the best thing for all moms and not all babies even want it.
It isn't!! I was surprised. We even got the ready-to-feed ones so I didn't have to measure/worry about what water to use/temperature to heat it to (I remember MH had so much trouble getting it to the right temperature!--it was always like "oops, too hot"..."oops, too cold"..."oops too hot again"). But even with the ready-to-go ones, we messed up! I didn't know that you're supposed to throw it away after the baby drinks it and we'd just keep the leftovers in the fridge and use it over and over again =/ oops! I felt really horrible about it afterward but I'm glad LO was okay.
That was the conclusion I finally reached. I don't think I ever could have actually EBF'd (I think I'd have always needed to supplement) but even just to maintain my current supply would have required some crazy amounts of pumping, nursing, domperidone taking, etc. I literally did not have the time to be engaged with them other than feeding, and ultimately I decided that spending quality time playing, reading, cuddling and comforting them was more important than breastfeeding, and I absolutely agree with you that it was 100% the right and best decision I could have made.
{planning bio} {married bio} {baby blog}
Just in case you don't get through the brain dump I had in the other post, this podcast
https://bit.ly/bdYamX ,
talks about this and what dr.s used to tell mothers, it's one of the most fascinating things I've listened to.It really helped me understand why our mothers and previous generations of mother look at us sideways when we talk about parenting.
If anyone gets around to listening to it, I'd love to discuss in future thread.
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
Too bad I bought all that stuff, too, before it didn't work out! :P
I basically agree with everything said so far, but mostly this!
This is one of the many reasons why I'm so glad I was able to BF. I know FF isn't easy. I HATE washing bottles. It's a PITA. Kaya does get pumped milk when I work but luckily it's only twice a week and MH usually washes the bottles and my pump stuff. I can't imagine having to do that every day.
For me, BF wasn't just about being the best for baby. I feel like it's been easier for me in the long run, especially when we travel, and, of course, it's cheaper. Even when you factor in the cost of the pump and supplies, it is WAY cheaper than FF. This is also why we chose to CD. MH is all about saving money! :P
I feel so fortunate that I didn't have too many issues with BF and that I've been able to do it for so long.
This!!! I exclusively pumped for 4 months and it sucked. There was some sort of huge weight that was lifted from my shoulders when I decided to FF 100%. I think I pumped for so long because I felt so guilty giving our baby formula.
Thank you for this post Lisa!!