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How to tell the "big-ems"

brigette41brigette41
in Parenting after 35
Hi everyone... I am new here and a little nervous on how to tell my older children our "news" and what the reactions my be.  I recently divorced and remarried and this is the first pregnancy with my new husband.  My divorce and remarriage was very hard on my older children and they are just now beginning to accept my new husband of 9 months.  We will all be together for Christmas; however I will only be around 8 weeks then and I'm worried that it may be too early to share the news.  Any advice?  Oh, my kiddos are 21, 18 and 10....
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Re: How to tell the "big-ems"

  • PeppernutPeppernut

    Hi, and welcome!

    For me, I am not comfortable sharing my news (I am about 6 weeks right now) until week 13 or so, because I have a pretty intense history of losses.  

    If I were in your shoes, I would wait and see how Christmas goes.  If everyone is doing really well and it seems like a good time, go for it!  I advise to keep your plans loose, that way of things are already awkward and weird you won't have the added stress of "I have to tell them!" in your head.

    H&H 9 months to you, and good luck! 

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  • BrideBuddiesBrideBuddies member

    Ditto.. don't tell them during Christmas.  Not to be negative here, but if they get resentful and reactive, this will just ruin the holidays for everyone.   Plus, it may forever taint the holidays for them. 

    I'd wait a little longer until you're out of the danger zone, as well.   Don't feel pressured to tell.. think of it as your own little special secret!!

    H&H 9 months!

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  • vanverthvanverth
    Ditto to the pps.  If they are having a hard time with the new living arrangements, then make this holiday all about them.  Treat the like the center of your universe.  You will benefit the rewards later.
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  • iluvtomiluvtom member
    There was no right way for us either..My DD was 20, and my two step daughters were 19 and 12 at my pregnancy announcement-My DD was angry because I waited until I was 17 weeks to tell once I had my amnio results..She felt betrayed, I was nervous but I do not know if there is a right way,...
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  • iluvtomiluvtom member
    There was no right way for us either..My DD was 20, and my two step daughters were 19 and 12 at my pregnancy announcement-My DD was angry because I waited until I was 17 weeks to tell once I had my amnio results..She felt betrayed, I was nervous but I do not know if there is a right way,...
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  • dkaysdkays

    Congrats!  I agree with PPs about waiting til the holidays are over because of the blended family. 

     We found out we were pg 4 weeks before my oldest graduated high school but waited until after graduation to say anything.  Kids reactions are funny.  We called a family meeting to tell them and the oldest 2 thought we were getting a divorce and the youngest thought we were getting a puppy. LOL  I think the only thing they struggled with was the fact their parents were doing the deed. 

    GL!  Hope you have a smooth 9 months!

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  • mama.bearmama.bear

    Congratulations on your new marriage and new blessing.

    I agree with the other ladies. I wouldn't spread the word at this point. Heaven forbid something should happen, it would be devestating to "un-tell" your news. I've been there and it's very hard.

    Plus, if your kids are just warming up to your newly-wed status, further bonding during the holidays would do you all good without the focus being on a new sibling.

    This is my 2nd marriage and we have a blended family also. Welcome to the board!

     

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