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need some advice

samanthat09samanthat09
in Military Families

My husband is in the process of joining the Army. Although this originally started out as my idea for myself he has decided it would be best for him. We recently had our 2nd child. DH has been in college for about 3 years now and still has more to go. Money is very tight and we are uninsured...which isn't working. I have total respect for soldiers and their families and think it's a wonderful honor....I have faith that he will be ok but the idea of being away from him for so long and raising our kids basically on my own most of the time makes me very sad. I know that overall this is what is best for us. I'm not dumb my mom is a military brat and I was born into the Air Force, although my father was out not long after I was born....but I have to say I'm terrified...yet excited to feel like we're finally moving forward and making a real future. I don't know what to expect...I don't know how it'll be with him at boot camp then schooling. I don't know how I'm going to help him deal with his biggest issue of being away from our boys. I'm looking for some idea of how all of you women handle being a military wife....how do you do it and still keep yourself together and strong?

<a href="http://s141.photobucket.com/albums/r80/samanthakay07/?action=view
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Re: need some advice

  • maiziejengamaiziejenga
    Concentrate on doing what's best for your family.  Use the resources on base, and appreciate the spouse network.
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  • meltoinemeltoine member

    Some days are harder than others. My best advice is to have something to do unrelated to your H and kids on a regular basis - regularly schedule GNO, dance/exercise/pottery/something class. It's helpful to have a routine activity that gets your mind off of everything else.

    Like PP said, concentrate on doing what's best for your family. Take pride in knowing that, even on the hard days, you are doing the best you can for your family. 

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  • proudarmywife08proudarmywife08

    Basic training is just about the worst. Write to him every day, send him pictures. He will appreciate all of the letters. He may only get them every few days, they don't always give them mail every day. And I know when DH was there, the drill sgt's made him do extra push ups on the days he got multiple letters from me. He said he would have done many more to get those letters. That is how important they are to them. When he's away, let him concentrate on what he's doing, don't overburden him with things going on at home that frustrate you that he can't help or change. It stresses them out in an already stressed environment.

    It is tough on them to be away from their kids, DH tells me that a lot. He's so happy to be back stateside now, he's actually looking for a potentially non deployable job...I know they're few and far between. 

    Keep yourself and your boys busy while he's gone. Take the first week or so to wallow in your misery and miss him, then get on with life, create a routine for you and your boys and stick with it. Have them draw, color and write to Daddy too, he will love that. 

    Take advantage of all support networks once he's really in the Army, after all his training. That is how I survived his deployment.

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  • JessC28JessC28
    imageproudarmywife08:

    Basic training is just about the worst. Write to him every day, send him pictures. He will appreciate all of the letters. He may only get them every few days, they don't always give them mail every day. And I know when DH was there, the drill sgt's made him do extra push ups on the days he got multiple letters from me. He said he would have done many more to get those letters. That is how important they are to them. When he's away, let him concentrate on what he's doing, don't overburden him with things going on at home that frustrate you that he can't help or change. It stresses them out in an already stressed environment.

    It is tough on them to be away from their kids, DH tells me that a lot. He's so happy to be back stateside now, he's actually looking for a potentially non deployable job...I know they're few and far between. 

    Keep yourself and your boys busy while he's gone. Take the first week or so to wallow in your misery and miss him, then get on with life, create a routine for you and your boys and stick with it. Have them draw, color and write to Daddy too, he will love that. 

    Take advantage of all support networks once he's really in the Army, after all his training. That is how I survived his deployment.

    All this.

    When you get a base, especially if you're away from your family, etc., join the spouse networks and things they have going on. It's nice to have a group of friends that understand. That being said, I make sure to make time for "non-military" activities for myself. I think a lot of spouses get so wrapped up in the identity of being a military spouse that they forget about themselves a little. 

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  • samanthat09samanthat09
    thanks ya'll!!!! I'm going to remember all ya'll said! And buy a book of stamps for when he goes to basic so I can write him daily! =)
    <a href="http://s141.photobucket.com/albums/r80/samanthakay07/?action=view
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