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WTYM

heatherlaneheatherlane member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

I ask myself far too often if I made the right decision.

When DS was born, the doc discovered he had flipped sunny side up (I hate that expression with a passion) and that's why he wouldn't move down the birth canal and make me dilate.

I question myself all of the time...I was not in control of my labor process, but all too content to sit back and take directions. If I had been more adamant about them taking me off the monitors (DS was doing just fine) and let me move around to labor, he may have turned and started progressing.

But still, I've learned that I just have to let that go and know that both baby and I are still healthy. I hope you can do the same one day...I'm sure you didn't damage yourself!

Um, yeah. The Bump be too crazy for pics of my kid.
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Re: WTYM

  • wordtoyourmotherwordtoyourmother member
    imageheatherlane:

    I ask myself far too often if I made the right decision.

    When DS was born, the doc discovered he had flipped sunny side up (I hate that expression with a passion) and that's why he wouldn't move down the birth canal and make me dilate.

    I question myself all of the time...I was not in control of my labor process, but all too content to sit back and take directions. If I had been more adamant about them taking me off the monitors (DS was doing just fine) and let me move around to labor, he may have turned and started progressing.

    But still, I've learned that I just have to let that go and know that both baby and I are still healthy. I hope you can do the same one day...I'm sure you didn't damage yourself!

    Few things make me choke up but this did. It lets me know how much of this I'm actually bottling up.  Thank you, I really needed to see/read/hear that :-)

    ....aaaand congratulations Heather.  You're the second internet stranger that's made me cry lol..

     

     

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  • jennybeamsjennybeams member

    Also FWIW WTYM, I had a c-sec due to failure to dilate.  We concieved DD on the first try and it took us 4 months to concieve #2 but we did, so there's no hard and fast rule that c-sections make it harder the next time to concieve.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • wordtoyourmotherwordtoyourmother member
    imagejennybeams:

    Also FWIW WTYM, I had a c-sec due to failure to dilate.  We concieved DD on the first try and it took us 4 months to concieve #2 but we did, so there's no hard and fast rule that c-sections make it harder the next time to concieve.

    Thank you for sharing Jenny.  This is comforting too.  I know my fears are irrational and  probably related to the poor birth experience I had.  I'm seriously considering talking to someone in hopes of it being therapeutic.  I've never been accepting of my birth experience.  I also didn't want to become THAT woman who complains about giving birth to a healthy baby and just upset about the journey it took to get there.  I guess I've bottled it all up. 

    Bottling up all those feelings has got me thinking crazy things like my c-section leaving me infertile.  Obviously, I need to address the root of the problem and that is 'letting go' of what was.   Again, all irrational.  I wish I could get it all out of my head.  

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  • heatherlaneheatherlane member

    I think seeing a therapist to discuss this would be great for you!

    For me, I think blogging about the birth story and experience in the months afterwards really helped me sort through those feelings.

    Maybe next time we'll all consider a doula or midwife birth experience. I love my OB's office, and I know that I was the one that failed last time...they gave me plenty of time and info to make the decision. I just wish I had pushed and said "I'm getting off this damn bed and you can't stop me"!

    Um, yeah. The Bump be too crazy for pics of my kid.
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