XP: Should I lie to my MD?

jb2rn · December 2010

*please try to restrain flames if you feel like you must throw them, thanks*

I am 34 and a half. This is our fifth cycle TTC. We have no known medical issues. My LP's have a been a bit short, this last cycle it was "normal" length (12 days) but I spotted the entire time.

So I am off the doctor. I want to know if you think I should lie? Should I say we have been trying 6 mos? A year?

If you are thinking I am impatient, well I have a reason. My husband is in the military and within the next year we will be moving to Europe. And we will be nowhere near a military clinic/hospital. So I fear if we have issues, getting tx may be more of a challenge. I want to know early on if there is an issue we have to deal with.

Just curious of your experience. Did your doc tell you "try for a year and come back? If my Progesterone is low, or a similar simple fix, I'd prefer to know sooner than later.

thanks

MDBeachbride · December 2010

I think you can be honest and explain exactly what you've told us. Sure you could say six months if that makes you feel better, but hopefully he'll give you some tests/insight etc. I'll tell you, I've known people the same age to have problems, even wind up with IVF only to have failed cycles and get knocked up on their own. So, while you may have some struggles, your doctor may not be the fix you need.

Good luck to you!

bethCT · December 2010

I agree, be honest. BUT one thing to know, after my 3rd m/c, I called the RE myself and made an appointment. My OB suggested it one week later actually. Do you need a referral to see an RE?

aurora1974 · December 2010

Initially, yes that's what my doctor said, but when I went in because I was concerned about the length of my cycles she gave me the names of some RE's. I think you should be honest with your DR., but explain the situation. Or as pp suggested, call the RE on your own if you don't need a referral.

boymamaco · December 2010

My experiece with my OB was that I didn't need to make an excuse for making the fertility discussion appointment (even though it wasn't technically 6 or 12 months). I showed her the charts I had, explained how I was tracking, and that we want to get pg. fast b/c of our ages. I'm 35 and DH is 45. She was extremely empathetic and ordered up all the tests.

In our situation, we tried for 3 months last year, then waited awhile b/c of his health reasons, and then started up again in August. So it hadn't even been consecutive months and she really understood what we wanted to do.

I'm so glad we did the testing instead of waiting for 6 consecutive months. Turns out I have super duper low progesterone, had a dermoid cyst and he his SA came back mostly normal but some slightly out of normal indicators. With all this news she recommended we go see an RE. She said, you could probably do it on your own if you had all the time in the world, but we don't.

I say all that not to freak you out but just to say that I think they will look at your unique situation and do what they can to help you get pregnant faster. My OB's are pretty empathetic to our situation.

I dont need a referral to an RE. I will never know if we should have started there first. I did it this way but really going to the OB or the RE first is up to your insurance company.

Also, I want to add that my stress levels went up with all the testing. Going in for blood work several times, hsg, vag u/s, etc. I really got worked up about it. In hindsight I'm glad we did it all because found this nasty cyst but I wanted to say that and be honest that it can start to feel a little more stressful.

Whatever you decide let us know! Sorry for the marathon long response. I hope that made sense, I'm all loopy on pain killers. lol

BostonGayGal · December 2010

No, I don't think you should commit insurance fraud. Be honest with your doctor about your concerns.

jb2rn · December 2010

BostonGayGal:
No, I don't think you should commit insurance fraud. Be honest with your doctor about your concerns.

Yeah, thanks. I am actually happy to pay out of pocket if need be. I am not trying to swindle my insurance company.

And I don't want a refferal to a RE at this point at all. If my PCP wants, they can refer to me to an OB but I honestly just want some blood work.

We have Tricare, we don't pay out of pocket for it. And I do need referral for everything.

If we were staying put for another year or two, I don't think I would ask this early in the game, but since we may move to another country I feel it's important to get serious about it sooner.

thanks for everyone's input.

BostonGayGal · December 2010

jb2rn:
BostonGayGal:
No, I don't think you should commit insurance fraud. Be honest with your doctor about your concerns.
Yeah, thanks. I am actually happy to pay out of pocket if need be. I am not trying to swindle my insurance company.
And I don't want a refferal to a RE at this point at all. If my PCP wants, they can refer to me to an OB but I honestly just want some blood work.
We have Tricare, we don't pay out of pocket for it. And I do need referral for everything.
If we were staying put for another year or two, I don't think I would ask this early in the game, but since we may move to another country I feel it's important to get serious about it sooner.
thanks for everyone's input.

If you aren't expecting your doctor to refer you to an RE for diagnostic testing, what are you expecting to get out of the lie?

I can't tell you how badly I WANTED to lie last night when I met with the fertility specialist. I wanted to say that I had done ICI cycles at home to get out of paying the 2-4K for my next 2 months of IUI's. I have already paid 10K. I am being told that I have to go through two more cycles before I will get any help. So I completely understand wanting to lie. But if you wouldn't want a referral for testing out of it I don't understand why you would even want to do it.

jb2rn · December 2010

BostonGayGal:
jb2rn:

BostonGayGal:
No, I don't think you should commit insurance fraud. Be honest with your doctor about your concerns.

Yeah, thanks. I am actually happy to pay out of pocket if need be. I am not trying to swindle my insurance company.

And I don't want a refferal to a RE at this point at all. If my PCP wants, they can refer to me to an OB but I honestly just want some blood work.

We have Tricare, we don't pay out of pocket for it. And I do need referral for everything.

If we were staying put for another year or two, I don't think I would ask this early in the game, but since we may move to another country I feel it's important to get serious about it sooner.

thanks for everyone's input.

If you aren't expecting your doctor to refer you to an RE for diagnostic testing, what are you expecting to get out of the lie?

I can't tell you how badly I WANTED to lie last night when I met with the fertility specialist. I wanted to say that I had done ICI cycles at home to get out of paying the 2-4K for my next 2 months of IUI's. I have already paid 10K. I am being told that I have to go through two more cycles before I will get any help. So I completely understand wanting to lie. But if you wouldn't want a referral for testing out of it I don't understand why you would even want to do it.

For right now, I just want bloodwork. I don't think I need an u/s, lap, HSG or anything at this point. I primarily want to test my progesterone in my LP to see if it's high enough since I spot during my LP.

I am sorry you are getting such delays in your treatment Sad

AlmostLoCo · December 2010

I don't think you need to be dishonest, I think that if you explain things just like you did here, your OB shouldn't mind ordering up some bloodwork for you. You are certainly close enough to 35 that he/she won't think you're crazy for being concerned. Ultimately doctors truly do want to help you and ease your mind.

My OB offered to start running tests after I'd been trying for only 3/4 months (I'm 37). I decided to wait until I hit 6 months to go right to an RE.

BostonGayGal · December 2010

I think that since you are willing to pay out of pocket the doctor is likely to simply order the test and there would be no benefit to lying. I paid $500 for day 3 and 10 FSH/LH/Estradiol, so I would imagine that just the one test of progesterone would be less but I really don't know.

(If you were to lie, they might be covered by insurance, but you already know my feelings on this.)

Best of luck to you.

jb2rn · December 2010

back from my appt.

the PA in Family Medicine said we needed to try for a year. I said it had been six months (we just started cycle five). I explained we were moving overseas and that I have had spotting the past few cycles.

He referred me to a NP in the Women's Health clinic here on base so I have an appt next week. He ordered a SA for my husband, he said that is what they do first.

MDBeachbride · December 2010

I hadn't thought about the Tricare issue. Yeah, I understand more now. My BFF is turning 40 this month and is trying for baby no 3 (she has a 6 month old and a teenager). While she got pregnant very quickly with her last pregnancy, I am curious how Tricare will proceed if she has troubles this round. I'm curious to hear what they tell you.

Again, good luck!

Mrs.McIrish · December 2010

Glad you can get started now with testing for the progesterone and SA. Good luck!

tumble · December 2010

Being over 35 I think he will want to move forward very quicly and it won't be an issue, they say 6 months if over 35 and your about there. GL

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