How early do you plan on having your LO's do chores?

RunningWife · December 2010

I have a friend who's pregnant right now. Yesterday, we met up for coffee and the discussion of chores came up.

Personally, I come from a background where my brother and I weren't expected to do TOO much, but we did have a few chores: we were expected to always keep our rooms tidy, bring our dirty laundry down (we didn't have to do it until we were older) and I had to clear the dinner table and load the dishwasher every night.

So, I completely believe that children should contribute to the running of the household, and I plan on starting it early, so I can make it fun for DS. Something simple (even when he' a toddler) like giving him the napkins and asking him to go put one on every place at the table or taking each piece of dirty laundry in his room and putting it in a pile so Mommy can come and pick it up.

However, my friend said she doesn't believe in having children do chores: their main concern should be focusing on schoolwork, extracurricular activities and having fun. well, what happens then when your child goes off to college or moved out and has no bloody idea how a washing machine works? Or if they end up living in a pig sty because they can't get out a mop? Don't get me wrong, they're not to be used as maids, but I feel that they need to LEARN the importance of how to run a household...

What are your thoughts? Am I a bad mother for planning on having Logan help out a bit from an early age?

ValAndRyan · December 2010

DS1 does chores for a number of reasons: he is apart of the family so everyone chips in (I am not a maid), he learns time management and he will know how to be independent and do things for himself. I am a huge believer in chores and working.

DS2 will start when he can clean up his toys to put them away when he is done playing and we'll go from there.

STFWIFE · December 2010

I aggree with you. DD#1 is 7 and she sweeps and mops the kitchen, empties the dishwasher, vacumes and keeps her room and bathroom clean. Now before any one thinks im asking to much of her, she WANTS to do all of these things except her room and bathroom. She askes every day if she can vacume or sweep and mop, and when I start to unload the dishwasher she askes if she can do it and then I will load it. We started her on picking up her room when she was younger. She would trash her room and we would clean it together. I plan on doing the same with DD#2.

Laura_Lee · December 2010

My child will definitely do chores. I love my husband to death, but I can tell that his mother never made him help with ANYTHING when he was younger, and it makes it hard for me sometimes. Even when I do get him to help me, he frankly sucks at it. He doesn't rinse dishes well (because he was never the one that had to scrub them) and forget having him wipe down any counter top or table... he misses SO many spots. I don't want my son's future partner to ever have to teach him how to pick up after himself like I've done with my husband.

drewiekc · December 2010

Half the reason I wanted kids was so they could do chores and help out around the house! I kid, I kid. But yes, our children will have chores. We'll start off with putting her toys away when she's done playing and work from there. When she's older I'm sure her number of chores will depend on school work, sports, if she has a job, etc, but she'll always at least be expected to clean her room. Once I was in high school my mom made me start doing my own laundry, and I'm glad she did. I plan to start that with our kids as well.

katie277s · December 2010

DS1 helps out at home now, at 5. He is responsible for taking all the popcans to the recycling bin (its in a closet on the first floor), he has to pick up his room and toys when he's done playing with them. He knows that when he comes home, his shoes are off and in the closet and his coat needs to be hung up. He puts his backpack in his room so we always know where it is. I see nothing wrong with having them help out.

Also, with the popcans, he keeps all the money we get from them to put in his piggy bank. He loves taking them to the store and holding the receipts and putting his money away.

Dobie_Mama · December 2010

RunningWife:
well, what happens then when your child goes off to college or moved out and has no bloody idea how a washing machine works?

Then they become my husband, shrink their wife's jeans, and have to go through an excruciatingly painful Laundry 101 course with her. lol

Seriously though - DD #1 already has chores, or at least things she's responsible for doing. She's expected to pick up after herself and has been since she was able to do so. She can string toys through the house all she wants so long as she understands that they're to be put back when she's done playing with them.

I also have her help with every day tasks and it's one of the things she REALLY enjoys ... she gets to be the big helper! She particularly loves helping out with her baby sister - she can get me a diaper, a burp cloth, help me pick out her clothes, etc. She's always telling me, "I'm such a big helper!" and is really proud of herself. I think pride in yourself and your belongings is something that doesn't hurt at any age. She's even getting a toddler-age appropriate responsibility chart for Christmas and I know she'll be stoked because she's happy when she gets to pitch in.

ashleighd1485@aol.com · December 2010

Laura_Lee:
My child will definitely do chores. I love my husband to death, but I can tell that his mother never made him help with ANYTHING when he was younger, and it makes it hard for me sometimes. Even when I do get him to help me, he frankly sucks at it. He doesn't rinse dishes well (because he was never the one that had to scrub them) and forget having him wipe down any counter top or table... he misses SO many spots. I don't want my son's future partner to ever have to teach him how to pick up after himself like I've done with my husband.

This is my husband exactly!

jlhebb · December 2010

We have a chore-filled household as well. My SKs each have to pick up after themselves and help with the meal. The 14 and 12 yos pour drinks and set the table. The 5 yo puts out the napkins. We don't have them do too much more regularly because we don't have them that often and don't want them to only be working when they're with us. Big projects like raking leaves or shoveling snow they get involved in, but daily cleaning and laundry they don't...unless, of course, their clothes don't make it to the basket and they expect them to be clean. Then they have to do their own laundry. That's more of a disciplinary thing than a chore, though.

DD will have more responsibilities as she gets older because she is a full-time member of the household. Like others, we'll start with toy cleanup and move into clothes in the hamper, setting the table, etc.

ValAndRyan · December 2010

drewiekc:
Half the reason I wanted kids was so they could do chores and help out around the house! I kid, I kid. But yes, our children will have chores. We'll start off with putting her toys away when she's done playing and work from there. When she's older I'm sure her number of chores will depend on school work, sports, if she has a job, etc, but she'll always at least be expected to clean her room. Once I was in high school my mom made me start doing my own laundry, and I'm glad she did. I plan to start that with our kids as well.

Haha! I tell my son that the reason why parents have kids is to do chores and laugh at them. He's 11 so he gets that but it's funny.

kimmyt09 · December 2010

ashleighd1485@aol.com:
Laura_Lee:
My child will definitely do chores. I love my husband to death, but I can tell that his mother never made him help with ANYTHING when he was younger, and it makes it hard for me sometimes. Even when I do get him to help me, he frankly sucks at it. He doesn't rinse dishes well (because he was never the one that had to scrub them) and forget having him wipe down any counter top or table... he misses SO many spots. I don't want my son's future partner to ever have to teach him how to pick up after himself like I've done with my husband.
This is my husband exactly!

And mine! His mom never made him do anything. He won't clean until it becomes so bad even he can't stand it.. I never make it to that point. A little clutter makes me nuts, and he doesn't understand my need to clean.

Let me paint a picture for you of DH's house growing up..

We were over there one night last year, and a mutual friends of ours came to meet us. She's known H since they were in 6th grade, and her husband and mine are best friends, etc. Anyway, we're standing in the kitchen and she says, 'Oh.. did MIL get a new stove??" My reply... "No, she just cleaned it."

YES THAT BAD. I will never let my son grow up in the nastiness, nor let him fail to learn how to clean up after himself.

delg23 · December 2010

I will be having my son do chores for no other reason than to exploit labor Stick out tongue

. I am undecided on the allowance part. I guess its probably a good thing because it helps them learn to deal w/ money. I had no chores when I was a child and I have an insane work ethic & figured out how to use a washing machine on my own. I always tended toward needing independence though. My mom was a SAHM and was very upset when I insisted I do my own laundry. However we were pretty poor and I got a job at 15 to save for a car. I guess I learned that if you want something you have to earn it w/ out chores.

delg23 · December 2010

Laura_Lee:
My child will definitely do chores. I love my husband to death, but I can tell that his mother never made him help with ANYTHING when he was younger, and it makes it hard for me sometimes. Even when I do get him to help me, he frankly sucks at it. He doesn't rinse dishes well (because he was never the one that had to scrub them) and forget having him wipe down any counter top or table... he misses SO many spots. I don't want my son's future partner to ever have to teach him how to pick up after himself like I've done with my husband.

My husband is the same way and he had chores! What is his excuse!? :P

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