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Annoyed by MIL - would this bother you?
DH is out of town. MIL called and wanted to pick up Mads because the "roads were bad." Whatever. I told her she could pick her up.
So I had to go to her house to get her and of course was there for 2 hours talking, eating dinner, etc. Not what I planned on doing with my night.
I think I've talked to you guys before about her calling M the wrong name. MadeLINE instead of Madelyn. Last night she was doing the same thing with her middle name. Joanna instead of Joann like it is. And then she would go back and say it the right way. So it's not like she doesn't know. She just does it on purpose.
And then Mads started to pick up some glass trinkets she has on her coffee table. I told her no and to please put it down, which she did, but then she picked up a different one (haha..it's not the same one I asked her to put down, so it's fair game, right?!) MIL goes - "do you want a time out?" Um, excuse me? I'm right here. You do NOT need to discipline my child in front of me. When it's just the two of you, go for it. When I'm here, I've got it under control. And it was totally not a time-outable offense, IMO.
What would you have done? I just kind of said....we wouldn't timeout for that. We do timeouts for spitting, hitting and severe non-stop backtalking. Please don't threaten her. And then we left.
WDYT?
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Re: Annoyed by MIL - would this bother you?
That woman makes me grateful for my MIL.
She's annoying.
ETA: YOUR MIL is the annoying one. Mine is great in comparison. And it sounds like yours knows which buttons of yours to push and gleefully does so. Sorry!
I'm with you. I think grandparents should defer to the parents when both are present.
I would have probably said something similar, or even quasi-joked about it but then would have left or changed the subject.
That's so annoying that she says her name wrong. My grandma calls Ella "Ellen", but she's 98 and can do whatever the eff she wants.
Her disciplining Mads while you're there is equally annoying. I think it sounds like your MIL just needs to be continuously reminded that a) she cannot rename your child and b) she is not Mads' primary caretaker and needs to defer to you in situations like last night. Playing with items set out in a non-baby-proofed home is something I kind of expect to happen. Children are curious. If y'all spend quite a bit of time at your MIL's, I would think she'd have her house a little baby-proofed for her own sanity.
I would be annoyed too, and I think your reacted appropriately.
I would be so annoyed with the name thing too. DH's stepmom always asks what my mom and MIL call themselves for Evan...my mom is Grammy, and MIL is Grandma. StepMIL goes by "Jammie", but she will call herself all three names in front of Evan
And my MIL continues to call me "Mary" when my name is Mary Beth.
TTC #2 since 9/09 --- mild PCOS; Endometriosis
IUI x4 = BFN
IVF = sometime in 2012
I would totally have done what you did about the discipline. If it keeps happening I would probably have your DH talk to his mom. It sounds like your MIL is pushing your buttons but might take the advice better from her son?
I would be constantly correcting her about the name thing and especially if she does it in front of other family and then maybe she'll be embarrassed that the she got her granddaughter's name wrong and start saying it correctly.
You're so nice...I don't know how your MIL can be such a witch to you?
Yes, it bothers me. My FIL is the worst offender, and even worse (at least in my mind) is it's always over something totally age appropriate and not really something we even correct Jackson for. He did it this past weekend and I, being already annoyed at my in laws for existing, was tempted to tell him to get the f*ck out of my house.
I resisted, but told MH that he better be on it in the future because any interaction between me and his parents correcting MY kid in front of me will end with f bombs. I've had it.
I let it go for a long time and would just gently say something to Jackson or quietly intervene, but it's never gotten better and Jackson is getting old enough to notice that his grandpa (who he loves) gets really short and kind of mean to him. I won't tolerate that. He's a grandparent. Not a parent. And I'm right freaking there.
She's crazy cakes. Oh, the stories I could tell. She's just a major control freak. Major.
FIL and Step-MIL said Isabelle instead of Isabella for a long time and it really bothered me. DH eventually corrected them in front of everyone and must have embarrassed them because they haven't done it since.
I would not be cool with her correcting my child. Since we aren't terribly friendly anyway I'd just come right out and say it. Our families are constantly eye-rolling and making snide comments about our parenting decisions and we do not put up with it.