- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Military Families
how do i be a good military wife
let me just say that i do not blame my situation on anyone else, but me.
little history. i met my H when we were on a ship together. i ended up getting shore duty orders and finding out i was PG with our son. the ship went on deployment 2 months after i left. i have a DD from a previuos marriage. DDs father lives in SC. i was completely alone through my whole pregnancy and birth. i never thought i would make it though that. we got married when he got back from deployment, so he wouldnt get shipped off to VA for two years......
needless to say that didnt work. now i have two kids, a full time + job, and no help. then my DD wanted a dog for xmas, and i kept telling her she could have one, so we got one. BIG mistake. potty training is draining me! im so tired and i get sick often. i cant seem to get it together. ive done all that was in my power to make my life easier. which have worked pretty good, but what now?
how do you cope with every day tasks? going to the grocery store, making dinner, having a smoke break, teething, bath time, taking a bath for you? oh, not to forget my H. he will call and want some support, i cant even support myself right now. i feel so bad when i have nothing to say but 'im tired'.
sorry...i just wanted to vent and maybe get some advise on how to manage my kids.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: how do i be a good military wife
" ive done all that was in my power to make my life easier. which have worked pretty good, but what now?"
I can not agree with this statement when you willingly added a puppy into your regiment when you were already having issues.
Let me start by telling you that I have four kids, aged 2, 4, 9 and 12. I also foster dogs, mostly puppies. On average, my husband is home between 12 and 20 weeks a year, non-consecutively. I know where you are comming from.
My first suggestion is to sit down and figure out what you can cut out. What are you doing that is not essential to your life? Cut it. I had a rough patch around the summer. My grandma was very ill and I was taking shifts with her in the evenings to relieve my mom and aunts so they could get dinner or what ever. I had to take a few months and stop fostering for a while. It broke my heart, but I couldn't do it all. It is ok to say you need a break.
Next, is there any thing that you could be doing that could make your life easier? Do you work? Are your kids in child care? Our post CDC gives so much time free at the CDC every week for kids who parent is deployed. Find out if yours does the same and take advantage of it. Use that time to clean the house, run errands, take a shower or a nap. Don't be afraid to ask for help. When our H's are deployed, my friend and I help each other a lot. I will go to her house every other week and help her clean the house. She does the same for me. There are a group of us who get together to make dinners. One girl makes a dinner one week and it rotates.
How can you rearange your day to help things flow better? Structure your day. Don't worry about cleaning everything until your kids go to bed. I pick up here and there durring the day. I get the kids to help with things that they can do. My 4 yr old loves to help me collect the trash bags from all the bedrooms and bathrooms. Both little ones love to help collect dirty clothes. I do the majority of my cleaning after my kids are asleep. I usually shower between 11 and midnight and then go to bed.
When your H calls, tell him about all the funny things that happend durring the day. Tell him about a show or movie you watched on tv. Being supportive of him doesn't always mean you have to just sit and listen to him. My H would rather me tell him about my most borring day than anything else. He rarely has anything to say. He asks what we had for breakfast, what are the kids working on at school, what was my day like. He wants to feel like he is a part of your life.
It's ok to have a craptastic day here and there. My moto is that life is what you make it. If you keep thinking negatively about everything, it's always gonna suck. Take a few minutes here and there durring everyday to stop and think about the good things that have happend that day. Enjoy the little moments.
yes, i do work. i am AD navy. my husband is stationed in VA while im still down here in FL. i am not able to transfer and be with him just yet. i have to wait another year before that is even possible. its kinda hard to be a part of the FSG (family support group) from so far away.
when we got the puppy i was doing good and thought i could handle it. we are getting by, we only had one accident last night. we are getting better.
my kids do go to day care at the CDC..
thank you for the advice.
Just stop and breathe. And understand that everything can't be done. And you can still be a good military wife if the dishes dont get done tonight, or you the laundry didn't get put away. It will be ok, the world won't end and your kids will not think less of you...(But I have found when I am super busy local dry cleaners will wash/dry/fold your laundry for $1/pound. $40 bucks vs all day of laundry wins out alot!!!)
Don't beat yourself up for working double time you are not a super hero. Please Please PLEASE promise me above all things you will take some time out for you because your body WILL shut down from the stress, you will get sick and then what good will you be?
I am in your SAME boat (kinda) I am AD AF, and DH just returned from month TDY, we don't have kids yet (10wk pg on saturday) but we do have an angelbaby puppy dog who LOVES to poop in the hallway when we leave her alone...
My husband is AD Navy (in FL too) and Our LO isn't here yet but we do have a dog and a kitten. As well as Me running my blog, and Internet business. what seems to help me is making list. I take 5 min. the night before and write a list of everything I need to do. Whether it be washing my hair or going grocery shopping. I try to mentally allot times to the task as well. My dog has a kennel which is how I house broke her. As for dinners. I prep what I can ahead of time and I plan meals out when I write my grocery list. Meals that use the same ingredient get made a day or so apart so I do have to constantly be chopping and prepping.
as PP said friends can be a great help. Most of mine are AD so it makes it a little difficult but a little help goes along way.
Get some help, take the kids to daycare, anything to get you a break! Hire a babysitter, even if you stay home while she's there. Grocery shopping with two kids is the worst, I absolutely hate it. I try to wait until they're both in a good mood but that rarely happens. I usually end up with one or both of them screaming by the time I leave the grocery store. I let my DD (2.5) help make dinner, I let DS play in the kitchen while I cook, I shower with DD and DS, its the only way I can do that...or wait for DH to come home.
Bathe both kids together, have all the babies stuff in the bathroom so you can dress and diaper the baby there while the older one is playing in the bath. Find things you and the kids can do together, go out nearly every day (to the store, playgroups, playground, etc).
thank you for all the advice ladies, i really appriciate it! sometimes i just have a really bad day. sometimes i can get out of work to do things, but then i always feel bad for possibly letting my fellow sailors down. they dont understand all the time because they are all men and have wives that are SAHM.
we had gymnastics tonight and our night seems to flow a lot better. well except for the spastic dog waiting for us. she seems to be spending a lot of time in her kennel, but its the only way to keep from peeing all over my house. as soon as i know she wont do it, i will keep her out. it just seems to be a very long task. i feel like it was easier to train my DD.