Time for an intro.....sorta rant

julesjb · December 2010

Ive been lurking for the past few days, I guess trying to convince myself that this wasnt happening again. My husband and I started trying this year and I got my first BFP this summer after a crazy regulation post pill. After seeing that beautiful heartbeat I was on cloud nine. One day shy of my 12 NT scan I noticed a tiny brown and went in. They were unable to find the heartbeat and the baby measured 9 weeks 1 day. After 2 D&C's, weeks of following betas and waiting the stupid 2 cycles that was suggested we finally were able to try again this month. I got my BFP 11/21 and couldnt believe my eyes!! My first two betas were great, tripled!! I started to spot the day after thanksgiving though and my recheck beta and progesterone still looked good so they said not to give up hope and repeat in 48 hrs. Unfortunately that 4th beta was 259, down from 295 so they told me it was a miscarriage and to prepare myself. I feel like this is a roller coaster ride because they have continued to watch my levels and my very next one was 512....along with some ovary twinges my dr started mentioning ectopic just to put it on the table. She said it was unlikely but cant be ruled out....went for an ultrasound today and ofcourse they didnt see a sac or anything but the tech said she wasn't overwhelmed by my scan and that she would have expected me to be uncomfortable if I was ectopic. Im still spotting off and on and I have no idea whats happening....back for more blood tomorrow and another ultrasound on friday.

I am so angry....just at everything. I can't believe this is happening and have a hard time believing it is just stats at this point. I know all of you ladies have been through a lot too and not that it feels good to know that but during this time when I feel so broken and useless.....it just feels nice to know someone gets it. Im sorry for my intro rant....felt good.

MrsR25 · December 2010

I'm so sorry for your losses. I just had my 2nd loss so I completely understand how it feels after that 2nd loss.

Snowbride02 · December 2010

I'm sorry you're here again. It's an awful place to be. It's hard to be happy and have hope at times like this, but I hope and pray you have a healthy pregnancy soon.

lotus88 · December 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's an awful experience that I wouldn't wish on anyone. The women here are so supportive.

samanthahollman · December 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss.

::hugs::

mrs.gee · December 2010

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I just had my second consecutive loss as well, and it has sucked. My second one was similar to yours in that at first it looked bad, and then good (we saw a hb for 2 weeks) and then bad (no hb). I feel like I miscarried that one twice in itself. I hope you get some answers soon and some comfort here.