I just saw your weekly check-in now. I'm sorry you've been depressed and that your job has become such a huge source of stress and sorrow. Is there some way you can take a leave of absence or disability leave? I know you're not in CA anymore so I'm not sure if they have the same sort of benefits where you are. I don't know if looking for another job is out of the question for you, but I hope you're able to get the care and support you need. I think if a job makes you that miserable, then it's probably not best for you to stay with them anymore? Of course, I don't know your situation exactly, so there may be reasons for why you have to stay but I guess I just wish there was some way to help alleviate your situation. Nonetheless, you'll always have our love and support here on the board. Lots of hugs to you!
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Re: ** Married2MrW **
I also wanted to add to look in your "blue" pages of the phone book - a lot of hospitals have places you can go to for "pay what you can" - Dh did that when he was first unemployed and I think he paid $2 a session. Might be worth checking out.
Also, those sound like panic attacks and are helped with medication, if you can take it while BFing, not sure about that. Does your job have an EAP? (Employee Assistance Program)? They can sometimes give you several sessions for free.
Thanks ladies...I appreciate your kind words of encouragement. Even when I went through my divorce I didn't feel this way...completely powerless over my situation.
I have no counseling coverage in my benefits but I do have an FSA so I am going to see if my PCP will refer me to a therapist so that I can at least pay for the sessions out of the FSA.
I am generally such an optimistic and positive person and I just don't feel like myself anymore...there's a dark cloud over me and I find my self thinking "worst case scenario" thoughts about everything...
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