Pregnant after 35

New here and scared...

Hi Ladies!

I am 5 weeks and in total shock.  My husband and I have been married for 11 years, will celebrate 12 years of marriage before the baby arrives.  This will be our first child.  I turn 37 in March.  We were not trying to concieve...it just happened.  Thus, the shock... I will set up my first doctor's appointment when I get back from Thanksgiving.  I have taken three HPT's and all three were positive.

I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks (D&C at 11 weeks) when I was 30 years old.  Obviously, we have not tried since.  I am scared because I am obese (270 lbs.), 36 years old and the prior miscarriage history...

Oh my...what to do?  I will simply take it one day at a time.

Current symptoms include twinges in my abdomen area, queasiness (that is controllable by food for now) and extremely sore boobs...

Any advice? 

Family History:  My maternal grandmother was born in 1914.  She graduated with her Master's degree before getting married.  She married my grandfather when she was 30 years old in 1944 and had her first child at 36 years old.  She had a miscarriage and then had identical twins, one of whom was my mom, at the age of 42.  I look to what she accomplished as my inspiration.

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Re: New here and scared...

  • Welcome and Congratulations! No advice here but wanted to wish you a great and healthy pregnancy. Hopefully the Dr will give you some helpful advice and answers. Good Luck and keep us posted! Smile
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  • Hi there, welcome, and congratulations!  The first few weeks can be scary, but I think you have the right attitude, take it one day at a time. I'm sorry for your loss.

    We've got a great group of women here, and I'm sure you'll get some good advice.  I've never had a miscarriage, but I am 40 with my first pregnancy and I was definitely nervous for a while, heck, I still am!  

    Your OB may not want to see you until 8-10 weeks, which is normal, though if you tell them your previous history you could probably push to get in sooner.  Let them know you're anxious, they should understand and help you ease your mind a little.

    Good luck and enjoy!


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  • Exciting news!  Congrats.  Wishing you a healthy 9 mos.!  Hope to see your updates on this board.
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  • I can totally relate. 

    My husband and I just had our 12th wedding anniversary back in May. I'm 40 for crying out loud... Pregnancy was not on the agenda.

     I've been told for the last 20 years I would have a hard time getting pregnant and would not get pregnant without treatment. So my husband and I said 'eh whatever, we have a life who needs kids'

    I was put on Metformin for insulin resistance 9 months ago, what they forgot to tell me was it's also used to induce ovulation in PCOS patients. I guess i had PCOS, because 6 months later, surprise!

    I'm 13 weeks along now, and we're both finally getting used to the idea of becoming parents. It is absolutely mortifying, tho. All the things they NEVER tell you about... bleeding gums, constipation, my bra size has already gone up from a C to a D. I haven't felt so tired since i had mono 14 years ago. I get up, i do something for an hour or two, i have to take a nap (not easy when you have a job that demands 50+ hours a week).

    I wish i could tell you it gets easier, but i spend more time worrying that something will go wrong due to my age or being 6 years post gastric bypass, or being borderline diabetic, or being hypothyroid.

    I am at the OB or perinatologist's office about every 2 weeks lol. At least I have unbelievably good insurance and healthcare.

     Good luck, and you're not alone. 

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  • Welcome and congrats.  No advice here except to just try and take it a day at a time and enjoy!!!  You are having a baby!!!!
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  • Congratulations!! Wishing you a H&H 9 months:)
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  • Thank you, ladies!  Your wonderful words of encouragement have me cautiously excited.  I am not what you would consider the "mom" type and have never had the urge to be a mom.  I am more of a career woman and total tomboy.  I guess the proverbial clock has been ticking because I wasn't upset to learn I was pregnant.  Just scared and cautious...

    Again...taking it one day at a time...

    BTW, my aunt recommeded a doctor locally and I called yesterday.  My first appointment is Jan 18th.  They typically like to see their patients for the first time between 8 and 12 weeks, but the earliest they could get me in, without a cancellation, is my 13th week.  Good grief!  Are there THAT many people having babies?  Or are there too few good doctors out there?

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  • The bad news is you will miss your chance at early screening for genetic problems at 13 weeks. 

    Did they realize you were over 35? I was told when making my appointment to spell out that i was 40 and a high risk pregnancy, they got me in to start the tests the next week. 

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  • Yes, she took my date of birth and indicated I would be 37 when the baby was born.  She did say that she was going to call the nurse to get me at the top of the list for any openings due to cancellations.  It's a doctor and clinic that specializes in high risk pregnancies.  We shall see...
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  • Congratulations!  I hope you don't have to wait until January to see your doctor (I'm sure it would be fine to wait until then, but would be much nicer on your nerves to be seen earlier! ).  One thing I found when I made my first appointment was that some OBs only take so many women per due date period, which is nice once you are scheduled, but tough if you can't get in!
  • Congratulations!

    I am 41, single, fat and having my first baby. I'm scared, too.

    As for waiting to see a doctor, I saw my doctor at seven weeks and I go in for my ultrasound at 11 weeks. Unless you are at high risk for genetic problems, don't fret too much. I have discussed my baby's father's family history with him and mine is pretty good. With the exception of being a big girl, my family has relatively good health. My doctor expects me to have a good pregnancy.

    I also have a history of older mothers in my family. My maternal grandmother had her last child at 41 with no complications. I have lots of aunts who have had kids well into their 40s with no real problems. I believe if you expect the best, your outlook will help you feel better and thus have a better pregnancy.

    Your doctor will probably tell you to watch your weight gain. My doctor informed me that because of my size, I should not gain more than 20 pounds, but ideally, no more than 15. So far, so good. I'm not deprived, either. I have been eating a lot of good food including fresh fruits and vegetables. I got sick from the prescription prenatal vitamins, but the ones sold at Trader Joe's ($13 for a two-month supply) contain ginger and I take them at night. So far, very little morning sickness. They also contain probiotics which help with digestion. Make sure you start taking some kind of prenatal vitamins ASAP.

    For now, though, relax. Enjoy the process. I am so happy about being pregnant. I am not in the ideal situation, but I am blessed. So are you!!! 

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  • No advice, but congratulations and very best of luck!
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