DH and i have been not seeing eye to eye on equal "down time" DH is working a ton of OT and i freely admit he works nights and is tired but if i am lucky i get 2 hours a week (and thats bc i bring them to bible study with me and they are in daycare). On weeks w/o daycare i am with them 24/7.
I feel like the "adult time/free time" is not equal. how often do you get time away?
Re: how often do you get out baby free
I'd say 3-5 times a month. I went out last night to an event w/ my moms group. Next week, I am doing something else with my moms group one night...and then I have my book club meeting on a different night. I am having dinner w/ a friend in a couple of weeks and then one Sunday in December, I am meeting up with one of my oldest and dearest friends to do some last minute Christmas shopping and then we're having lunch.
DH doesn't seem to get out as much as I do, but that's because most of his friends have recently gotten married and/or had babies and don't have the free time that they used to. I frequently encourage him to call some of the guys and make plans, but he doesn't often take me up on the offer. Although, he is supposed to go out this Thursday night with one of his friends.
My LO goes to MDO twice a week for five hours, and that's when I get most of my alone time. I typically use that time to run errands, do the grocery shopping, etc. At least once a week, though, I take time to go and have lunch alone or with a friend just to have some free downtime.
At least once a week (sometimes more) I go out to do something kid-free. I have season tickets to the Eagles, so I am at all the home games, plus tailgating. I also have dinner with friends or just go out by myself.
As seans_grl said, I encourage my H to go out more! We recently moved and are now very close to where his best man lives, so they get together on occasion. But my social life is definitely busier.
But my H also just got back from a Vegas weekend with the guys, so I don't feel too badly for him
DS 3.12.08
DD 7.11.09
DD 8.01.13
H definitely does more....golf games or just going to the driving range, occasionally drinks out or drug rep dinners with coworkers.
We are new to this area and have no family here, and the only friends I've made are from my mom's group. I haven't gotten together with any of them sans babies yet. I am pregnant though and use my OB appointments to get a little extra time out of the babysitter! DH is totally fine with this. I usually go get a pedicure or do a bit of shopping after the appointments. Occasionally on a weekend I'll leave Colin with H and run an errand or two.
I want to say, "Never!! Blah!" but it's not entirely true.
i get out once a week to teach and take my dance classes. I think twice though now, I've had to bring one or both of them - so then I just stay for the one I teach and um, yeah that doesn't equal alone time! lol
On the days DH is home I will often run out quickly to go tanning, or run one quick errand without the kids - like seriously a 30 min. period. I can't think of the last time this happened, but sometimes on Friday or Saturday nights (he's usually home those nights) if someone has planned something, I'll go out, and he really doesn't mind at all - because like I said, doesn't happen too much. I *go out* more than he does. He seriously works and comes home. He rarely even goes to the store.
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
I leave to go work-out every morning before the boys wake up. I go out with my girlfriends a couple of times a month. I go shopping by myself or with my mom about once a month.
I also work one everning a week from 4-midnight, which I don't really count as "me time," since I really have sold my time to other people that evening.
I get what I need, and it's way more than DH gets or than what he feels he needs. I am glad he doesn't think it needs to be equal
I'm very lucky that my mom lives nearby and I get a couple of hours almost every week to run errands or do things around the house while my mom watches DS. We also do our Wednesday double coupon grocery shopping together and tag team the little guy.
My DH rarely stays alone with DS, though. This is mostly because my husband's love language is "quality time", so anytime I talk about running out for a quick errand when he's home, DH wants to come with!
This.
This is a never ending "battle" with DH (our only argument). I get that he works long hours, but he gets a variety of tasks during the day, can close his office door if need be for his online classes, and has two 30-min car rides to/from work each day.
I am with her from the mooment she gets up till the moment she goes to bed. And even if he is helping me, its so I can do house work.
So I finally put my foot down and told him that I would be putting her into the enrichment program (2 three-hour classes a week). Not because I need the time to do my work, but to have time to myself.
WE all need time for ourselves. And that he got that time throughout the day, I deserve it too. Especially since I would have access to it if I were working (and I am not a SAHM by choice). Of course I also reminded him that I put a good $50k into our savings before
we got pregnant and were stationed here, so I EARNED that right financially on top of the moral right.
I work 17 hours a week, so I do get some adult time from my job.
In terms of personal free time alone, never. DH and I do date night twice a month and that's pretty much the only time I am baby free. If I go visit friends, I bring DS with me. I went to a baby shower once and didnt bring DS since it was in the early evening hours and I didnt want to put him to bed late and that's about the only time I was ever alone minus DH/DS in the past 11+ months.
Maybe once a week for 2-3 hours but there are plenty of weeks when I get none at all. DH is working really hard (getting his PhD and teaches undergrads plus private lesson students) and when he has free time we tend to spend it as a family or a date night.
DD still takes a 2 1/2 hour nap every day which I use as "me time". I do internet stuff, read, watch DVR programs, etc. for about an hour and a half and usually clean for the last hour. Plus, I have a few hours after she goes to bed at night and an hour before she gets up in the morning which is nice.
m/c at 13 weeks - March 23, 2011
A lot, but it has taken a while to get here. When I was BFing, and my kids wouldn't take bottles, I didn't get out as often. Maybe once a week.
I have every Friday night off to myself. This week, Friday night is date night, so I'm still "kid free". I also went out Monday night for dinner with friends, had a Mom's Night Out at my house last night and tonight I have knitting group. It's a weird week - not always out that much......
Hang in there! Hope you get some more "you" time soon!
(m/c 1.17.07, m/c 5.15.07)
DS - 03.15.08
DD2 - 12.03.09
DD3 - 3.28.11