un - helpful MIL comments
helenejr
member
well i can't say my MIL is over controlling, nor can i say that she's the slightest bit interested in our pregnancy of her first born grandchild- she's just a nut bag, worrier and is completly stressing us out.
Here in Canberra Australia there's been a really big epidemic of whooping cough in adults (it seems people are forgetting that they need boostr shots) anyways - I kindly asked my parents, ILs, and close family friends to have a booster before the baby is born, i know it may seem overly cautious, but i just think it's the right thing to do given that My brothers both teach primary school, my mum works in childcare and my dad works in a medical surgery. When i asked my MIL she said i was stressing out about nothing, that whooping cough doesn't affect adults that badley and that there is not an epidemic where they live (about 2 hours away) she said she didn't see the point and that i was being a worry wart.
I happened to make a comment to my DH, just saying that i had spoken to him mum and that she didn't think it was neccesary to have a booster shot.
She txt him a few days later asking why we hadn't called her (she can't let her son go - ever since we got married she's been funny about me being the new number 1 in his life) he just said he'd been busy and that we were both well, she then went on to tell him i was being silly worrying about whooping cough - Suffice to say DH did not take that well, and they ended up in a screaming match about why she couldn't just agree to a booster and keep the peace, why she had to make out like I was some horrible person who wasn't mature enough to look after a child if i was this stressed about whooping cough..... so now, there's this huge rift between them, and this awful tension between my MIL and I.
It doesn't matter what i say or do, she critises me, the instant we told her we were pregnant, she wasn't happy, she locked herself in her room and cried about how she doesn't think her son is ready, how we rushed into it after the wedding............ i don't think i can put up with this sort of thing for the next 6 months - maybe it's just me being a bit hormanal...
so thanks for hearing out my vent - i guess now i can ask if you've encounter the same type of thing when you've requested something? Do you think i asked too much???
Re: un - helpful MIL comments
My cousin is due in February, and her doctor told her that all immediate family and friends should get their flu and whooping cough shot if they were going to be around the baby.
My doctor hasn't mentioned it, but I plan on speaking to him about it.
I do not think you were out of line at all, maybe a little early as its a ways away, but I don't think its a big deal. She is making it into WAY bigger drama than it needs to be.
This. You can't make her get the shot, but you can control whether or not she sees your baby.
I just had this conversation with my OB on Monday and I'm even more serious about it now that this is likely going to be a preemie. You want to see/hold my baby - you will have a flu and a whopping cough vaccine. End of discussion.
Yep. And kudos to your DH for standing up to her. She's trying to make this all about her and it just isn't.
A thousand times This!
abso-tootin-lutely this!
I have had problems with MIL too but they are complete opposite of yours. Mine keeps trying to name the baby, calls it her baby, and said she wants the baby to call her Mama.
So far, dealing with my MIL has been one of the hardest things about pregnancy. I love my MIL with all my heart but it is hard for these women to watch their sons grow up. I try to be as understanding as possible and blow a lot of it off but it is really hard sometimes. You may just have to accept that she is not going to get the booster and just try and let it go (easier said than done). Good luck.
not to hijack the post, but this is really, really creepy.
And I agree with everyone else that it's a booster shot or no visits, btw!
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
agreed but gotta be careful with ultimatums.... worst case senario... she lies and says she got it so she can see the baby.