Suggestions??

aurora1974 · December 2010

Hi Ladies,

I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for getting out of the sadness of having another month go by with no happy news? Normally I am really sad for a couple days and then can move on focusing on a new cycle. But for some reason this month I can't seem to get out of it. I know I had myself completely convinced this was going to be the month as I was pretty stress free and our timing couldn't have been more perfect. And then I started spotting on Thanksgiving (8dpo, which is supposedly when you would see implantation bleeding), so I really got my hopes up. But then AF showed up 3 days early!!! Plus, I can't stop thinking about the fact that if I hadn't miscarried earlier in the year that we'd be preparing for a birth right now as my due date was January 1. DH is so wonderful and supportive, but I know he feels completely helpless so I feel even worse for making him feel that way. This is usually my most favorite time of year and I'm usually itching to go get our tree, but I don't want to do ANYTHING. I really just want to lay around and cry.

I know I haven't been going through this as long as many women on this board so I'm just hoping that someone has a suggestion on how to get out of this funk.

TIA

georgia3 · December 2010

Do you have access to a gym? I feel SO much better after I get regular exercise (and it makes me sleep better, which makes me feel better during the day).

It's hard to initially get myself going, but I'm always glad I did. Sorry you are feeling down- the holidays are hard sometimes. ::hugs::

karenannmark · December 2010

Im so sorry your going through this and for you loss, we all do, your not alone!!! I keep as busy as i can when im down and eats lots of chocolate Big Smile

!!!! Its always in the back of our minds and will be, its hard not to remember or think of ttc, for me i think about it 24/7 but i try to remember to be positive its better for my body and soul!!! I hope you feel better soon (((hugs)))

CityPixie · December 2010

I'm so sorry. I think it's the holidays, too. It is a happy and sad time of year both at the same time, you know? But others pp about the gym is absolutely the best advice. Clinical trials actually show exercise as effective as prescription drugs for depression. You will feel better, promise.

-Pix

Mrs.McIrish · December 2010

I'm sorry about you feeling so down. I felt that way last month but this month I am totally fine. No idea why. Hopefully it will just go away for you but I like the gym suggestion. I am going back this week. Hopefully if I feel better physically, that will carry into other areas. I think it is normal to have swings during this process. It is really hard and stressful. People who haven't experienced it don't understand so it can be isolating and not worth not talking about it to outsiders(if I hear "relax" once more I will scream). My DH doesn't really get how I feel. He tries but he doesn't have to do the temping/peeing/charting etc. I feel like I bear the stress alone. I can't believe it is December 1 already and I'm not PG. Can you do something for yourself, like getting a massage or night out with the girls? Hang in there.

mishele · December 2010

So sorry you're in this funk. Going through this sucks, especially this time of year. I agree with the pp, excercise always makes me feel a little better.

Maybe you and DH can get away for a weekend or even a night? After a particularly bad day with a BFN, DH and I went away for a weekend and planned the trip to do things we couldn't do if we had a baby. Like go to a really nice restaurant where bringing a child is frowned upon. It actually really helped me and it made him feel like he could help a little more.

MDBeachbride · December 2010

I don't have any suggestions, but I do know what it's like to feel alone in the process even when your DH wants to offer support. This whole baby making process is definitely more on the females shoulders OR at least that's how I feel.

I think you become numb to it. I've been TTC for no. 2 for 2 1/2 years now with one m/c and one etopic and who knows what my body is doing now (low 1st beta). I didn't even cry on the phone when I got my call Monday (which I thought I would if it was a bad call.) This is our last try with the RE so if this doesn't work...I am going to focus on other things including my own happiness, i.e. working out, proper diet, not swallowing tons of supplements and giving myself injections ;-)

aurora1974 · December 2010

Thanks everyone. I worked out with my trainer tonight and I feel a little bit better. I'll try and keep working out and maybe I'll get out of this in another day or two.

gregandallison · December 2010

Hi,

I am sorry too. I am in the same boat as just got AF and realizing this year is now over.
I would recommend, to go and bless someone. Maybe visit a nursing home. Some of the people there never get visitors and maybe you can go and sit with them. I have done this and I always feel better. Also, just paying it forward and helping others seems to make me take my mind off my own problems. And allow yourself time to mourn each day, but also find some time to dance around or sing at the top of your lungs. Just some things that I try to do to make it a little easier. Praying for you and all the ladies here.

stephdhg · December 2010

I can not say what would work best for you. I have thrown myself full force into the upcoming holiday and adopted a family for the holidays from a local church. Aside from the ongoing support of my DH, this has been my distractions lately.

I agree that it is harder on women. I go thru a mental battle every month when AF arrives and half the time i can not explain fully why i am crying to myself.

I have another OBG appt next week. I am hoping for further good news to assist in what seems like a battle in TTC.

I wish for luck for us all in these trying times.

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