TTC After a Loss

Really...I mean really.. Long ranting vent inside.

Ok so coirkers are just to much. Just when you think they can't get any more ridiculous they pull something out of their arse that blows your mind. I took over a whole separate DEPARTMENT a few months ago. I told my boss that I could manage it but not when I was trying to switch program years over for my current department. The ONLY time that it was a no go was late August and into September. Guess when it happened.

September.  So while bringing in ten new folks, exiting 20 folks and doing their full orientation for my regular job, I also got to run a second orientation for 12 folks in a completely different department and had to learn everything from the ground up. With little to no training. I said fine, it's not going to be pretty, my first job takes priority...always, and put on my big girl panties.

Fast forward to today. Since September, I've put 20 folks through training (last year they did 50...the whole year) updated, consolidated, and worked a database that hadn't been worked in 3 years, and added all sorts of structure and organization to it. All of this while doing my regular full time job, preparing a $400,000 dollar grant that is due in three days, learning that the system I have to use to input said grant is down and no one can seem to figure out why,  and keeping track of the 10 new folks. Add in there that I pulled in an extra $13,500 that they weren't expecting our of my a** that we can use to replace some equipment we desperately need and set up professional development for nearly everyone staff, and got us recognized by the state commissioner. I was proud, because damn it,

I've been busy and sh!t was getting done and getting done well. During the worst possible time it could have happened, and oh yeah, just for grins, I had a cp, my EDD, and the best case of poison oak ever going on outside of work. Lucky me. Did they say thank you when I ignored doctors orders, and skipped meds so I could come to work for a training I shouldn't have had to do because I got poison to late to reschedule? Nope.  Below is what I got instead.

So my co-irker decides that because she didn't know what to do with her people on Friday she needed to go to my boss and voice concerns. Today I get, we need to meet tomorrow to evaluate the progress of your second program. I hear co-irker from ACROSS the hall, over my head phones, talking to her staff about these concerns and yet she had said nothing to me. I wasn't having it and called her out. 

An hour and a half later, the resolution that we come too? My boss "went to her" and said she was going to evaluate it and asked for her input. My foot.The rest of the consensus was I'm doing sh!t right, she wasn't with the program and didn't know what was happening in her own freaking department, and the person that was doing the program before me had the "no structure" approach and said it worked just fine. To bad that method isn't sustainable and their own boss had no clue what was happening. Worked fine...right. But brilliant, thanks for telling me what I already knew. To bad, I now have an a**chewing that I get to receive tomorrow from my boss that I don't deserve. Although, I did enjoy the "you need to step up and be more visible to the new team" umm did you forget that I have a whole other department to run and don't have time to spend walking around just talking to people? Ugh

 And then come the flood of babies. I mean really. Thanks for the reminder of what I should be able to do this year but can't. The massive shopping spree was nice, but it's not that great of a consolation prize. I know it comes in waves but holy jeebus. Give me a break already.

I know that all 500 of you had your baby over Thanksgiving and you're super thankful as you should be, but if I have to read one more cliche post about how thankful you are for your tiny turkey or pilgrim or see new "first family pics" online I'm going to scream. I mean good lord!

Furthermore, if you're a FH, that met your baby daddy exactly a year before your child was born...there is a problem. That's great that he stepped up and married you (he was the sleep around player type in college so I seriously doubt the love at first sight happily every after thing,) but I seriously doubt the foundation you built when you were knocked up within the first three months of even knowing the guy. Stopping attention whoring everything and just be happy that you have your daughter.

Also, if you are single teenager that got knocked up by your boyfriend because you were drunk. That is not something to brag about, please don't tell me about it as I'm leaving work. I don't know you. I don't want to hear about it. and in the future, put the beer down or wear a freaking chastity belt to the club. k, thanks. 

and cramps..you can just go to he!!. I'm not so excited that you're here, I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me alone because having a sore back is not my idea of fun. 

and I think I've ranted enough for tonight, it's time for my stiff drink.  If you actually read this you get a gold star.

 

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Re: Really...I mean really.. Long ranting vent inside.

  • ((Hugs)).  Just ((Hugs)). 

    image 

    BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
    BFP #2 2/2011
    Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
    Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013

    Motherhood is not for wimps

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  • I am so sorry you have to deal with all that ((((hugs))))

    Nothing is worse that yucky work situations, especially because we just have to be there every.damn.day.

    I really hope that things get better for you!

    * PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * imageBloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • {{{HUGS}}} I am sorry.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers ANGELS ARE GIVEN WINGS AND TAKEN BACK TOO SOON --- We love and miss you soo much Kacie Rae --- 9/11/10 --- born sleeping at 29wks2d
  • (((((hugs)))))

    I think i'm going to join you for a stiff drink too!


    BFP#1 {Cashew} - 9.19.09 EDD 5.26.10
    The day you first lay in my arms, you made my life complete.
    Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
    BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11

  • imageCashewsMommy:

    (((((hugs)))))

    I think i'm going to join you for a stiff drink too!

    Here you go!

    https://www.ttfatloss.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/jack_daniels_coke.jpg

    and I don't hate my job everyday for the record. I get to do some pretty cool things, but sometimes I just want to choke someone!

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  • Holy moly, that's a lot of crap to deal with.  I hope it goes well tomorrow and things get easier for you at work.
  • *huge hugs*  Your boss sounds like a real jerk.  I mean, how hard is it to see when someone is doing a good job?  And yet so many bosses are blind in the corporate world.  I'll pour you a stiff drink!
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  • Wow! You've got a lot going on at work. I hope things get better. That's a lot for one person to have to deal with.

    I think you have the right idea Drinks cheers!

    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
    Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
    BFP #4 5/14/12
    5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
    5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
  • Ugh! That stressed me out just reading it. I'm sorry you are actually going through it. I hope you don't really get an ass chewing tomorrow and they actually surprise you and let you know how awesome they KNOW you are!

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


  • ((hugs))

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

  • yowzers.  That is too much!  I'm sorry you're dealing with that. 

    Work blows.  I hope you get a break soon and a few days off too!

  • wow.  sounds like you've been going through a really sh!tty time.  ((hugs))
    m/c 12/20/09 @ 5 1/2 weeks ~ CP 1/25/09 @ 4 weeks ~ missed m/c 4/6/10 (stopped growing @ 6 weeks, stayed with me until 10) ~Foster parent to B, 9/10-1/12~ Proud Mother of Gage Stephen, born 12/26/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Oh my dear, I am so sorry. That is a lot to be dealing with all at once. I sincerely hope things start getting easier for you at work. I hope you can talk to your boss, it really seems unfair the way you're being treated and what you're being expected to do.

    So sorry!

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  • Lots of ((hugs)) to you. And "cheers!" I'm about to have a cocktail myself. Hope you feel better soon.
    Diagnosed hyperprolactinemia & prolactinoma 3/2010.

    Started cabergoline 3/2010.
    Stopped cabergoline with +HPT.
    Levels checked 8/2010 and good.

    1st BFP 7/27/2010
    Miscarried 8/7/2010


    2nd BFP 12/16/2010
    Daughter born 8/27/11

    image
  • *HUGS* Your work is a bunch of asshats.

    Drinks 

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  • Oh :(:(:(   BIG BIG HUGS!!!
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  • ((hugs))  That just sounds crazy, really crazy, that you are responsible for all of that and now you have to hear about what's not exactly perfect (through no fault of your own).  I think I might flip out.  Of course, that probably wouldn't be a good plan, but gosh darn it, they are just expecting to much.  I hope your boss realizes what an amazing job you are doing. 
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  • That is just complete and total crap.  It sounds like you are doing an awesome job.  They can just sit on it and twirl.

    Hang in there sweetie.  Just get your arse to ATL in January and I will wine and dine you cupcake style.  ((hugs))

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  • Wow, that just plain sucks. I'm so sorry. A stiff drink sounds perfect and would probably help the cramps too... I think I'll be joining you!
    BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8
    BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
    image
  • imageRunSchwartzRun:

    That is just complete and total crap.  It sounds like you are doing an awesome job.  They can just sit on it and twirl.

    Hang in there sweetie.  Just get your arse to ATL in January and I will wine and dine you cupcake style.  ((hugs))

    ::droll cupcakes:: I'm coming!! Sometime the night of the 16th we get in, and I don't care if I have to sneak away like high school style out of the hotel room because there will be 15 of us, I'm going to come visit. Smile

    Thanks for all the support ladies, it's nice to have a place to rant without needing to be politically correct. I heart all of you!

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  • Sorry you had a rough day! ((HUGS)) and Drinks here's to a better day tomorrow!!  Maybe you won't get the butt chewing that you think...maybe your boss will see the truth instead of listening to lies!
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    "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9
    BFP #1 7/4/2010--Natural M/C 8/4/2010
    BFP #2 4/25/2011 Please stick, baby!! EDD 1/1/2012
    Forever Buddy to carrieandtim BabyFruit Ticker
  • ((((( HUGE GIGANTIC HUGS )))) Sorry you have to deal w/that crap
    BFP 11/09...M/C 1/27/10...TTCAL 3/2010...IUI #1 9/2010 = BFN IUI #2 10/29/2010 = TWINS! EDD 7/25/2010 C-SECTION 7/7/11 at 37.5wks due to severe pre-eclampsia. Liliana born 6lb7oz and Anthony born 5lb4oz Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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