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Feeling guilty (day care related)

epphdepphd member
in Success after IF

So the upside of having Sam at day care here at work is that I can see him every day during the day.  The downside is that if I don't go visit, I feel incredibly guilty.  And the reality is, I am really busy at work.  I still pump three times a day so adding a 30 minute visit leaves little time to actually get work done (and nest!! ;))

In addition, if I visit when he is getting ready for a nap, or hasn't had a good morning nap, my leaving to go back upstairs can be disruptive.  So, I'm thinking about curtailing my daily visits and going only when I really need to (if he's having a tough day, etc).

I feel so guilty about this, and it's silly since I wouldn't feel bad at all if he wasn't right downstairs. I also need to ask the staff whether "all the other moms are doing it" because I think that some of my guilt is due to peer pressure.

 

 

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I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
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Re: Feeling guilty (day care related)

  • Temp159135562506975Temp159135562506975 member

    don't feel bad --- as they get older it's more and more difficult to visit at daycare... leaving them = HORROR if it's mid-day.... whenever people ask "should i get daycare close to home or work?" and use "but i can visit if = close to work" is one of their reasons for wanting it near work- i always remind them that at a certain age visiting during the day won't work at all b/c they will cry like crazy.

    the few times i've gone mid-day to visit (certain celebrations, etc) it was not easy leaving again.

    i wouldn't visit, even if they were close.... so don't feel guilty. :)

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  • sasa625sasa625 member
    I definitely wouldn't feel guilty... it's probably easier on him if you don't visit. I know once DD sees me, she's done with everyone else. I would never be able to come and go from her... I can't even do it at home!
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  • epphdepphd member
    Thanks - I have not visited the last two days, but I have called.  I feel like if he is doing great, then why rock the boat? :)
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    I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
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  • JillAlyJillAly member
    I go through the same thing but I say these famous words..."they won't remember anything from this age!"    Goldie has it right too- once they see you, they only want you.  That makes it harder on them when you leave them- twice in one day.
    3 IUI's and 2 IVF's later- Brady arrived. Born at 36 weeks after PUPPS and pre-e/HELLP.
    IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
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  • pandabearloverpandabearlover
    I don't have any advice-but I ADORE your siggy pic.
    Momma to 2 sweet girls here on earth and a precious baby boy in heaven
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