Huge weight lifted — The Bump
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Huge weight lifted

Thanks everyone for your feedback re: my mom.   I thought and thought about it and then called my brother and told him how I felt about everything.  The way Marie treats my mom, how I wanted to move her down her but didn't see it being a reasonable thing to do, etc. 

He told me for one thing that he is thinking of moving her to Boston.  He has plenty of room in his house and his partner is on board with it.   Plus she'd have the added benefit of having Boston doctors. But that can't happen until he's done with his doctorate program in about 7 months - 1 year. 

In the meantime he and my other brother at the Cape are going to bring her to their houses each once a month to give her something to do on the weekends (when her depression is worst) and to give my sister a break.

And I called my sister and told her if she needs someone to vent to or just talk to (seeing as she doesn't go to therapy and very clearly should) I can be that sounding board for her.   

I feel a huge sense of relief.  I'm bringing my mom down in January to visit for a week or so.   

Re: Huge weight lifted

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  • That's great Michelle.  What a sense of relief for you.
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  • This is great news.  I'm so glad you found a solution!

     
    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

      
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  • I just went back and read your earlier post. So glad that your siblings were able to come together and come up with a workable solution.
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    DD- 9
    DS-6
    c/p- April 2016
    missed m/c- 6w5d; discovered 8w2d- September 2016

  • I didn't comment on your earlier post, but I've been meaning to ask you a really big favor... I have so admired the way that your family has shared this responsibility.  Even though I know the majority of the day to day care has fallen to your sister, I was really impressed with how you described that all the siblings have a role to play- someone handles the medical, someone handles the money, etc.  I've thought about it many times and just kept saying, that's how it should be... not just ONE person doing it all which is what happens so often.  I was hoping that at some point, when you get some free time (LOL- cuz I know you're just lying around eating bon bons all day!) could you sort of write it out and how you've divided everything up?  Any advice for what has worked/didn't work?  I feel like my family is on the brink of having to deal with this situation with more than 1 of our loved ones and last time, with my grandfather, it all fell onto my grandmother and we all agree that shouldn't have happened.  So my mom and I have talked about it and we want to have a plan of action for if/when the time comes that we have to care for her parents.  She has 3 brothers that all live locally and would do anything to help, but they aren't going to think of it on their own.  Typical men... they need to be TOLD what to do :-)  So anyway, just give it some thought and if you get a chance, please share your wisdom- you can email me if you prefer. 

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  • I'm so glad you feel a sense of relief. My dad went through something similar with my grandmother about 4 years ago so I know how stressful it can be.
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    Abigail Taylor 09.18.2008


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  • Great news. It sounds like everyone is going to work this out together. 
  • That's wonderful--sounds like it will be a great thing for your mom.
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