So I am calling this afternoon to make an appt w/ the counselor - I am quite leery of the whole thing but I figure it can't hurt. I tried at my ob office but that was just a really bad plan and I didn't go back. Anyone else been to a good counselor and would care to share what was helpful? How often did you see them? Did they ask you to do anything outside of counseling sessions? journal? etc? Thanks!
Re: Counseling?
I saw a counselor that I had seen on and off for years. I think the biggest thing is to make sure that you are 100% comfortable with the person you see. If you aren't comfortable, you won't be forthcoming with how you are feeling and it won't be as effective.
But honestly I liked counseling. It gave me a place where I could get it all out without judgment. And my counselor was good at leading me to look at things differently but not telling me how I should acting or feeling.
I didn't have to do anything outside of counseling except remember coping tools she suggested and try to put them into practice.
At first, I saw her once a week and once I started healing every other week, then once a month.
I hope your counselor can help you as much as mine did.
"I'm not telling you it's gonna be easy. I'm telling you it's gonna be worth it." -Art Williams
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
(((HUGS)))
It's a big step to reach out and find someone to talk to and I hope you find it beneficial. I went to see a counselor about a month or so ago. I only had 2 sessions (1x per week) but those 2 sessions really helped a lot. It was really just a lot of me talking and realizing while some of my sadness was due to the loss, a large part of it was not.
One of the things I wish my counselor would have done was ask more challenging questions that would require me to reflect more. I think the lack of that was probably because I had only been to 2 sessions with her. At the end of my second session she gave me some "homework" of sorts asking me how I'd formulate responses in hypothetical situations or when I'd hear certain comments from people.
Overall it just felt really good to talk to someone who didn't have any emotional attachment to me or the situation. It felt good to just unload and actually verbalize a lot of the feelings I had been keeping bottled up for months.
I stopped seeing that particular counselor because at my second session she informed me that she was pregnant (with a nice little baby bump and all) and was due right around the time I would have been. While she was very nice, the reminder for me would have been too hard and I didn't think I'd be able to open up as much as I was.
Good luck!
I've been to a counselor on and off for years as well.
It was honestly one of the best things that I ever did for myself. It really gives me a place to talk openly and honestly, with someone who wont pass judgment and will be objective.
I didn't have to do anything outside of the sessions - you counselor said that she always recommends journaling to her clients and/or any other types of emotional outlets.
Like lorlei said, the most important thing is to make sure you are comfortable with your counselor.
I hope that you find something that works for you.
BFP 1: 3/19/10 Loss: 7/9/10
BFP 2: 12/28/10
My Blog: Losing Sylvia
TTC #1 since May 2010. BFP #1 - 5/31/10; m/c on 7/22/10
Started seeing RE in August 2011
5 IUIs: BFN; IVF #1 - Success! BFP - 7/25/12
***WARNING Ticker in Siggy***
I have been seeing a counselor for about a month. I chose to go to a Christian counselor that has sessions at a church. The first lady I met with wasn't the right fit for me. She said we weren't ready to ttc, that I needed to "make Ella a memory" before we tried. I didn't like that at all. A lady I work with recommended another lady to me. She has helped so much. She has lost three babies of her own and didn't agree with what the other counselor said. She told me that she would NEVER say I should be over by now, because you NEVER get over losing your child. Everything is Bible based with her. She gives a lot of homework that involves reading scriptures and praying. I have had two weekly sessions with her, and feel like it has helped so much. We have quit going right now because we can't really afford a session every week. But I am going to continue the Bible study and praying. I know that is what helps me. I hope it helps you and that you find a good fit for you.