Shower etiquette question...

MissK8 · November 2010

So I'm a second timer, but we found out last week that our DS will be a big brother to a new baby GIRL! We're very excited and although we have the "big" items (crib, stroller, pack n' play) everyone keeps asking about a shower. I had always heard showers were for first time moms only, but because we're having a girl and have no bedding or clothing for a girl, would a shower be inappropriate? Need opinions please! I don't want to seem "greedy" with a second shower, but also am going to want a few girl-specific things. My mom really wants to do a shower but I want to make sure it's okay.

lilylow · November 2010

In my area it is considered extremely tacky and gift grabby.

Gina418 · November 2010

If someone is offering, I think it's ok to accept. I would make it less of a traditional shower and more like a "sprinkle" (which seems to be popular here). Just a small gathering - close family and friends, no registry.

RunningGal900 · November 2010

I don't know about the "rules" for my specific area, but I wouldn't do it. If I received an invite for a second baby shower I would find it very tacky. People will send you gifts either before or after the baby is born, especially since you are having a different sex.

Babydust08 · November 2010

Typically you don't have a second one. Although, a girlfriend of mine had a second one. Her friend was adamant about throwing her one, so she ended up doing a small one with some close friends and her mom. That way extended family and friends didn't feel the pressure to buy another gift.

GHBEA · November 2010

I think if some one throws you one then accept it, but dont throw one for your self.

I dont want a shower this is little girl #3 and I've been there done that. My work throws one weather you want on or not. babies are a HUGE deal at my work. My SILs want to throw one and I told DH if they ask him again to tell them no thank you.

ohiostategal · November 2010

Gina418:
If someone is offering, I think it's ok to accept. I would make it less of a traditional shower and more like a "sprinkle" (which seems to be popular here). Just a small gathering - close family and friends, no registry.

This is the only acceptable way to have a shower for a second child in my area. I have only been to one "sprinkle" and it was more to get together and give little girl outfits. The presents were much smaller than traditional showers as well. The mom in that case only had it because her high school friends were insisting. I didn't find it as tacky.

cynnnabun · November 2010

In my area/my family, it would be no big deal. We like showers.

I'm having a shower for this baby, and it's my second, but my DH's family is throwing it (and it's his first.) But I guarantee my mom or best friend would have otherwise. It's just how it is here. I would have no problem being invited to more than one shower for someone. It's not like I'm registering for a crib and stroller and stuff, I have all that. IDK. I think it depends on your people.

SandiaPinaMama · November 2010

My thought is that all babies deserve a shower! They need to be celebrated. My friend had a shower for second boy. We did get her gifts, but she didn't register or anything. It was just a bunch of gals enjoying our company playing games, opening gifts, and generally being supportive of the mommy. Go for it!

BLM10 · November 2010

As a personal rule, the only second-child showers I attend are those for family, as I will be buying gifts for them regardless.

akating · November 2010

If a bunch of people are wondering and your mom really wants to do one then I don't see the problem with it. You could also have a giveaway of some sort to make it for the guests too. I really don't think they are tacky unless someone is just wanting gifts and no one has offered/suggested a shower.

m0132 · November 2010

We always do a little "sprinkle" in our family for each baby. If this baby is a girl I'm sure it will mostly be diapers and wipes but if its a boy I know we will get clothes and things too. I personally don't think its tacky and wouldn't mind attending one, as long as the people weren't asking for "big" items. SIL had one when her two boys are 2 yrs apart and asked for big items just because she wanted new things..I gave her clothes, socks, towels and washcloths which I'm sure she had a ton of but in no way was I purchasing items she just received the year before.

the5wards · November 2010

I would agree with some of the above, I think it depends on "your people" ;p if they are wanting to do one I see no problems with it, and I have heard of people calling them "sprinkles" where they bring diapers and necessities... So if your family wants to do one i say go for it! if anything its great to get together and visit and have fun!

Ecy · November 2010

My personal opinion is that you should do whatever you want. I wouldn't go and register for big ticket items but maybe call it a diaper & wipe party or something of that sort.

As far as shower eitquette goes...I'm surprised at how many of you have family throw showers. Again...I'm too laid back to care much about all of these rules but I know at least where I'm from, it is considered very tacky to have your mother or MIL throw you a shower. It gives the appearance that your family is asking for gifts and that's a no-no apparently.

Either way...I hope whatever you choose, you have fun and enjoy your baby girl

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