Military Families

Struggling to make it over the hump...

We have about a week until our halfway mark in H's current deployment.  I am done.  I am crying at all these stupid holiday commercials and still awake at 2 a.m. and feeling sorry for myself.

Okay... that's enough whining... one day at a time.

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Re: Struggling to make it over the hump...

  • Just focus on baby.... She may not remember this holiday season, but you've gotta make memories for the three of you.  I know how much it can suck, but just look into those little eyes every day and do your best to keep a smile....Trust me, the scruffy faces and eyes your DH has to look at each morning couldn't possibly compare.

    Try to keep busy (I know its cliche), take plenty of pics, send husband a package with some of them, and just remember that everyday is one day closer to holding him in your arms.

  • Thank you. 

    This one is harder because the last one we were both deployed to Iraq at the same time.  Even though we weren't together or in the same place... we were still in the same time zone which made skyping and calling MUCH easier. 

    We also didn't have our son then, so obviously that was easier. 

    And our first deployment I was gone and he was here in the states... soooo I'm just not used to being the one left behind... I don't like it either way, but I must say, having our son is a great distraction from how much I do miss DH!

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  • Oops...."he".....unless a kid is screaming blue my mind says "girl".....my bad.

    One of my Sgts had the "issue" where she deployed with her husband last time....haha (we are Medics, hooah), and he didn't like the fact that everytime the mortar alarms would sound, and everyone would be running to the bunkers, she was running in the opposite direction....

    Sorry, random....but you made me think about that...lol.

    I got "lucky" with my last deployment, because I got hurt (COMPLETELY unintentional.....I don't jump for bullets)....and that is the only reason I made it home for our first married xmas and the birth of the twins....I'd be getting home this month.....my daughter took her first steps last week....

    Military sucks sometimes....(says the guy who got off work at 2030 tonight)

  • i totally understand. just hang in there. the best advice i have heard is keep busy. im here if you need a friend =)
  • I think everytime DH deployes it's during the holidays. On one I even cancled the cable so I didn't have to watch all that crap. I find the middle and the very end of deployments the worse parts. Sure you can stay busy and go on trips to visit family but when you go to bed at night your stupid brain always goes to the same place and it sucks. I've always been the one left here and over the years have learned both sides of it have the crappy end of the stick. I'm sorry your having a down period, I really hope it passes quickly for you and if not maybe find an old feather pillow to rip appart. Great stress releif then you'll also be occupied for hours cleaning up all the feathers lmao ;) hang in there
  • feather pillows are messy, :D
  • imageBec&Elly:

    One of my Sgts had the "issue" where she deployed with her husband last time....haha (we are Medics, hooah), and he didn't like the fact that everytime the mortar alarms would sound, and everyone would be running to the bunkers, she was running in the opposite direction...

    I am not a soldier, but as the wife of an EOD tech, I understand having "issues" when your loved one is headed into the hot zone instead of away from it, like most everyone else. Thank God for folks, like medics and EOD techs, but dang, it's not always easy being married to one of them! (And I have had it easier than most as my DH has not been as hands on since we started dating--good timing for me!)

    OP--My son is a year older than yours (July 11, 2009), my DH missed 1/2 my pregnancy, the (awful & horrible) delivery and his first nine months. I have been where you are as a wife and mother (but not as a service member). It is hard, it is lonely and it can be sad. I did not put up a tree last year. I bought presents for LO, but opened them right away because I have zero will power, so, LO had no wrapped gifts from us/me. We were with family for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so LO saw a tree and all. . .
    Do what you have to do to survive. The good news is that your LO won't remember if you don't do anything special. And, what you do do, you will have those memories. And, hold tight to the thoughts of the holidays to come. My DH is a career soldier, so it was not a quetsion of if but when he would miss part of LO's life. It was hard for DH and me, but LO Knows nothing different and we are enjoying LO's second holidays together, but LO is so much fun this year.

    Feel free to send me a PM if you ever need a shoulder of someone who is a year ahead of where you are. And, hang in there. You can do it and you don't always have to be strong.
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  • Hi I will reintroduce myself my name is Ashley and my husband is currently deployed. I have only posted on here a few times but your post really hit home for me. I am going thru the same exact thing. These coming holidays would have been our first as a married couple. All of these holiday commercials,christmas trees, etc just make is so much worse. I just want them to pass and know that it means I am that much closer to him coming home. I can so relate to being up at 2am, for the past 3 weeks I have had extreme insomnia. I have tried everything to go to sleep at a decent hour with no luck. I just keep the hope that everyday will get better. I just joined the gym and I know that excercise is what got me thru the last deployment, so I am just trying to motivate myself to go now:)

                    Just keep your head up everything you feel is normal. It was just nice seeing your post to let me know I am not going crazy. everyday is closer to him being home!

     

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