Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
advice
i got news today that my uncle lost his baby. his g/f was supposed to be induced today b/c she was overdue a couple days. she went in for her appointment, but wasn't feeling the baby so she was given a sonogram and they found no heartbeat.
now she has to go through delivery without having a baby in the end. I have no idea how she must feel so i have no idea how to comfort her what to say or anything. i'm so devastated for my uncle he never thought he was going to be a dad. He was supposed to be having his baby today not planning her funeral.
how can i comfort her? especially with just having my lo a few months back.
any advice you ladies can give me i appreciate.
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Re: advice
don't ask her "what can I do?" just do something.
I had friends clean my house while I was still in the hospital. I didn't ask they just did it. It was the best thing by far that anyone did for me. Food helps too. Flowers don't. You get too many. Bring over movies. Get her a netflix subscription. Run errands for her. She'll need pads, disposable nipple pads and the breast ice packs for nursing can help stop milk. She'll need extra sports bras that are tight.
Callan George and Bennett Charles born and died 11/7/10
FET #1 April 2011= BFN
FET #2 July 2011= no transfer because my lining sucked
FET #3 February 2012= BFP! 1st beta 9dp5dt=314 2nd beta 11dp5dt=977 1st U/S 3/20 Twins- Heart rates of 111 and 138
Living After Losing
I lost my baby girl at 35 weeks 8 1/2 weeks ago. I can say that I was in shock for about a week or two, then denial for a couple of weeks. I have struggled with everything from anger to frustration to sadness. The hardest thing is people not asking me about it or being willing to listen. I know most people don't want to upset me, but it hurts that people don't even acknowledge my loss.
Things that helped - cards, flowers, food (meals, Edible Arrangements), my family planned the funeral and I just showed up, sweet things to be reminders of her - my mom and MIL planted a garden, my mom helped me and my husband pack up all of her stuff (VERY HARD!!!).
I think most people just want to know someone is there and that their baby isn't forgotten. I hate the feeling that everyone has forgotten or thinks I should be over it. I have a newsflash - I AM NEVER GOING TO GET OVER IT. I know it will get easier but I won't get over it. It's not like my favorite football team lost a game or something. I lost my child.
I totally agree with PP- don't ask what can you do- just do something. Make food and bring it over or send food. Personally I didn't want flower arrangements because I didn't want my house to smell like a funeral home. We did receive a tree and a few potted plants which I loved. Ask her or SO what they need. I HATED leaving the house for a long time. My mom forced me the first week to go to the grocery store and Target for stuff we needed, otherwise I would not have gone. I'll keep your family in my t&p.