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Not the worst mother ever! :)
I just have to tell someone, because I feel like crap.
Today DS and I went to the zoo. Lovely place, we can label things,pet random animals, run around and get used to crowds. I guess I was super tired from him not sleeping and just tired from a long weekend being all by myself, but I totally f***** up.
DS was running, and ran towards me, but not really. He ran towards a little shallow fountain at the zoo and dove in head first. Just like that - no prior notice or show of intent. I dove after him.
He is OK, he was wet (all of him, all of his clothes and shoes). We ran to the car, and he is fine, not sick and apparently very happy. He kept saying 'JUMP FOUNTAIN!!!!" and laughing, so I guess he enjoyed it, but I have been crying ever since.
How do I know better next time? How do I take him places and keep him safe? So sorry for the rant..... Just sucks so bad....
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Re: Not the worst mother ever! :)
This is a story any mother of any child can tell. It happens. Nobody was hurt. You do your best, that's all you can do.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
It sounds like this little guy was bound and determined to jump in that fountain and you couldn't have stopped him if you had tried! Definitely no badge of shame here just another lesson learned - and something he can tell people about!
Repeat after me, "I am a good mother."
I agree that every mom I know (of typical or SN kids) has a version of this story. If you are anything like me your reaction to this has more to do with being on your own for the long weekend and the sleep thing. Sometimes its the weirdest things that sets me off. Generally not my finest hour (I'm a yeller despite my best efforts) so I think you did great.
Bottom line, he only got wet and now you know he will jump in any body of water. Better to find out with a fountain than the ocean.
On a different note, it sounds like you could use a break. I recently took a little 4 day holiday and I'm like a new person with my kids and I realized I should have done it a looong time ago. Are you going to have some time to yourself soon?
Thank you all for words of advice and encouragement! I am so sorry for being so overly dramatic, I think more sleep would go a long way for me
On a positive note, we can now talk and laugh about the incident ('Jump fountain! Mama jump fountain! Splash! Water everywhere!' not to shabby for a 27 m.o. non-verbal child in my book)
DS also got very scared yesterday, because he would not go to sleep and kept saying 'Sleep in the mama!' and so we CUDDLED (ans slept tightly holding each other) ALL NIGHT LONG! I am so sleep deprived, but I am in mommy heaven. Also - please note the wonderful article use - I am THE mama
While I won't get a break until DS goes off to college or gets married, I am very thankful that he is OK. I am also relaxing now at work with a cup of coffee posting on the Bump
Thank you all so much again!!
I "let" my DD jump in a lake, in the middle of winter, when we were a 1/2 mile from the car, with her brand new patent leather Mary Jane's. Stellar day. She won't go near that lake anymore. Oh, and did I mention, the lake is in the middle of the city and is nasty!
DD has never been hurt when she was doing something I would consider dangerous.