TTC after 35

New to the Group

Hi Everyone...My name is Sara...I'm 36 and we are TTC baby number 2.  Finding out that it is not quite so easy as with our DS.  We weren't even trying to get pregnant the first time around.  It was kind of a happy accident.

We figured the second time around wouldn't be that hard. My OB GYN seemed positive when I went in for Pre Conception counseling.  My cycles were regular...always showing up right around the first of the month.  The plan: We'd do the BD a few times around the middle of the month.  And next summer we would have a new little baby to add to our little family.

Well, it is November 28 and I got a visit from AF yesterday morning.  I was one day late on Thanksgiving so we picked up a HPT on the way home from the family dinner.  It was negative.  I was disappointed but part of me was still hopeful...Maybe it was a false negative.  But in the morning I knew it wasn't. It was a true negative.  Sad

To be honest, this is only the third cycle since we stopped using protection. And we've not been charting, using BBT, or OPK.  I was really hoping not to have to go there but I am really starting to think...FAM here we come.  I've read so many contradictory things--have sex 3 x a week while fertile, have sex every other day, have sex daily.  

I am also really confused about charting my cycle to figure out Ovulation.  Even though they all say no one really has a 28 day perfect cycle, all the charting examples are based on the perfect 28 day cycle.  What if your cycle is sometimes 28 days and sometimes 30 days and sometimes 29 days?  

 I am starting to get somewhat frustrated.  It makes me feel a bit guilty because I know there are women on here TTC their first baby and some of you have been working on it for a long time.  I am blessed to have had one child, I know.  Yet, I really would love to add to our family.  I grew up as an only child and it was really hard and somewhat lonely.  

 

Re: New to the Group

  • Welcome!

    If you are really interested in charting, I would pick up the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility".  I goes into depth how to chart and everything.  Also, there is a website called Fertility Friend where you can do your chart on-line.  It also has some good information, and you can look at other women's charts to see how different some can be.  As for sex timing, you can have sex pretty much every day during your fertile time as long as your DH doesn't have sperm issues.  We did every other day just because we didn't want it to be "baby making" sex.  We still wanted it to be "making love" as corny as that sounds.  We had trouble conceiving our 1st, and that did become "baby making" sex, and with the 2nd (and now 3rd child) we didn't want to go down that road again.

    Good luck!  I hope next cycle is the one, and you can have a wonderful Christmas present!!

    Baby #1: 19 cycles, failed IUI, and 1 + IVF 3-5-07
    Baby #2: 12 cycles, 1 failed FET, natural miracle but m/c at 9 weeks then another natural miracle that stuck! 9-30-09

    TTC #3 - 4 cycles - no BFP yet!
  • Agree with PP, check out Taking Charge of Your Fertility and Fertility Friend. Both were so helpful when I was trying to make sense of this all. Good luck!
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  • Welcome!  Hope you find lots of support and information here :)
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  • Welcome!  Wishing you a quick BFP!  I completely agree with the advice posted above.  Fertilityfriend.com is also a great resource, and worth paying for the upgraded service.  Get on in here and start posting!  We are glad to have you here. 
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  • Welcome and Good luck to you.
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  • Welcome!  In response to your question about the length of your cycle,it doesn't really matter if your cycle is 27 or 33 days depending on the month.   The ovulation date apparently can vary month to month but your luteal phase(the time after ovulating until AF) traditionally stays the same.  For example, I O'd on day 10, day 12 and now probably day 13 (waiting for itnow).  Fertility friend is very easy to use once you do it a few times.  Apparently at our age, we may not O every month and you can see that using Fertility friend-- I wouldn't know if I wasn't using it.  I did not want to chart when I started either but I really learned a lot using it.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • Welcome!  In response to your question about the length of your cycle,it doesn't really matter if your cycle is 27 or 33 days depending on the month.   The ovulation date apparently can vary month to month but your luteal phase(the time after ovulating until AF) traditionally stays the same.  For example, I O'd on day 10, day 12 and now probably day 13 (waiting for it now).  Fertility friend is very easy to use once you do it a few times.  Apparently at our age, we may not O every month and you can see that using Fertility friend-- I wouldn't know if I wasn't using it.  I did not want to chart when I started either but I really learned a lot using it. Even though I have been having traditional 27-30 day cycels, if I followed the advice of  having sex in the middle of the of the month (ie the "normal 28 day cycle), I'd be missing my O completely as it would be too late since I am an early O'er.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • Welcome!  I've found these boards to be extremely helpful in this journey.  Hopefully your stay on the board is short and sweet!
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