Vent: The first weekend back drives me to drink
So, on the upside, BM has been doing much better. Communication is great between the families, and SD is doing much better in school. The only thing that still isn't working is consistency in rules and it makes me batty.
BM is the kind of parent that just yells and yells and then gives up. Disapline and consequences are few and far between, and usually depend on her mood. Because of this, the first weekend we get SD back is a serious listening struggle. I hate having to repeat myself over and over again asking her to do, or not do, certian things, especially when it's the same things every other weekend. She comes back with a sense of entitlement, and the attitude that if she want's to do it, what we say doesn't matter. I'm not an angry person, I don't yell, but i'm very firm, and I don't play around. The hard part is I also hate that I feel like I spend the whole first weekend in a "two steps forward, one step back" mode.
Believe me, I know it's partly her age too, and I know there isn't really anything I can do about it. I also know, that in the long run, after all we have delt with, this isn't a huge issue. I just need to vent, and possibly have a glass of wine, and I know by tomorrow she'll (mostly) be back in our routine.
::sigh:: I'm one of the only people in my circle of friends with kids, let alone being in a blended family, so thanks for letting me vent :P
Re: Vent: The first weekend back drives me to drink
Yep gosse - I know EXACTLY what you mean. We STILL deal with this with my SS.
DH and I call it "De-programming week" because it usually takes this long for my SS to get back into the swing of things when his mother visits.
Gotta love it.
Deprogramming week indeed! My SS10 has been gone since the weekend before Thanksgiving and makes his return this afternoon after school. Apparently he was quite the little jerk at BM's house, being rude and defiant to his stepdad and BM (she called a couple of times to complain about his behavior). Great. He knows better than to tell me or DH "no". At least I hope it doesn't take too long for him to remember that our house is the "no nonsense zero tolerance for disrespect" house. I get so tired of this though. If their house were less of an "amusement park 24/7 entertainment instant gratification material palace" with parents who actually didn't give into every whim and fancy of the kids, perhaps we wouldn't have this problem but it is what it is.
I totally get what you are talking about!
We do week on week off and it seems like the first day or two is a little difficult. I feel badly for the kids because they are adjusting from one set of rules to another. It helps if we gently remind them of our expectations in our house when they step out of line in the first day or two. Just something like, "Now that you are here we expect you to listen to us, as we listen to you." Doesn't always work, but we have found that consistency and repetition have really made an improvement.