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Cincinnati Babies
Terrible twos vs threes?
Can someone tell me the difference? I keep hearing that three is much worse than two for most, but I wonder what the difference is?
I ask because we are seeing rapid changes in DD's behavior. Enough to have me concerned. We have already done the independence thing, meltdowns, not liking the word "no" etc. Now her behavior is changing again. She is surly, all the time. If you ask her to do something, she responds with "no, I am not doing....(whatever we just asked). She has started hitting everyone, just because. Usually unprovoked. Then there is spitting, purposefully letting her drink run out of her mouth, giant meltdowns at the word no or don't, full on wrestling matches to change a diaper, get her dressed, or get a coat on her. She whines all day long, no matter how busy we keep her. Her sleep habits are still ok, but we had what I suspect was her first night terror tonight. That was scary. She goes from eating nothing to grazing all day long, with no reason. Napping well to refusing a nap. Some days she just falls asleep out of the blue because she is exhausted.
What has me scared is if this is the terrible twos, I plain want to skip three altogether. I don't think I would be able to handle this amplified. We have tried behavior plans with consequences. She doesn't get it, and it is funny. She will do something, and then say "I go to time out" and will put herself in time out, laughing the whole time. It's fun for her. Urrrrghhhh! Someone tell me this is a phase, and I am open to any and all references to deal with it. 123 Magic has been a bust here. I want my cute baby back!
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Re: Terrible twos vs threes?
I would love to reassure you but we were only just reminiscing today how when we put DS1 in time out at 3 he would scooch over to behind the couch and watch TV while he was suppose to be in time out! Henry is already going though the terrible two's throwing the fits when I tell him no or stop. He's tried to let food slide out or spit it out but I nipped it in the bud by taking away food/drink so now he has gotten smart and stopped 'playing' at meal time.
Of course tomorrow is another day and she might change yet again tomorrow. I say roll with it
Oooh, I like that idea. I may give it a try. She loves to help, so having a reward system would be good to have around. I can't tell if behavior items are included in there, but I like that idea.
ETA: I do see the behavior items now. I was LOL at the thought of her ever getting a star for "trying not to whine". That's a tall order.
There's a theory about trying to focus on the positive rather than the negative (positive behavior yields more positive behavior)
Anyway, I LOL'd at the 'try not to whine' objective too, but I thought it was a good one for the future. Did you see you can personalize it too?
Much of what you described sounds like my terrible 3 year old. especially the doing something he knows he shouldn't and then promptly saying 'I go to time out now".
He has begun to whine and use baby talk and that is like nails on chalkboard to me. to make it worse when H is trying to discpline him he whines himself. We got into a bit of an arguement last night because of our 'parenting styles'.
My ob teacher and I had this talk and she said she really loved the book 'happiest toddler on the block' actually she said the video because you can see him act out the techniques. she works with at risk parents and she said she shows them the video all the time. one tip she gave me right away was if they whine, whine right back at them but exagerrate it so they see how silly/stupid they look. i did this for the first time last night and just briefly and he ran away from me crying then stopped and came back a few seconds later sweet as could be. I will admit when he ran away crying my heart broke
I read an article in parents magazine when Eli was a baby about how children usually go through a month or two of this at their half birthdays each year for the first several years of life. Since B is awfully close to her .5 year, maybe that is what it is for her? I can honestly say every year at the half year mark Eli goes nuts. He stops listening, we have meltdowns, etc. We are dealing with snippy/not mindful/complete PITA 3.5 year old now. I think the theory is that they are stuck between two worlds (that of a 3 yo and a 4 yo in my case now) and that they want more independence, responsibility, etc, than they are really ready for yet.
Anorther theory I heard was "it's the holidays, so get used to it"... a la grandMIL, who is always a PITA regardless of whether or not she's at her half birthday. LOL
Either could be B's issue right now.
Elijah Matthew - 5/3/07 ~ Adalyn Rosemary - 3/23/11
*Photos by Kacy Cierley*