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hard not to compare

angelynn8411angelynn8411
in Preemies

My first daughter was born at 41w4d, wide awake from day one, super alert, and has always been advanced for her age.

I knew my 32 weeker would be much slower to meet milestones, so I have always went off her adjusted age for that... but even for her adjusted age, she still seems behind. She has absolutely no interest in even looking at a bright colored toy in front of her, or touching a crinkle book, or playing on her tummy on the mat, etc. 

I just feel like I don't know what to do with her. It's just so different. I want to engage her as much as possible, but she has no interest...and that makes me feel like not interacting with her is only causing her to be more behind. I know she'll come around, it's just a whole new world for me. I feel like I don't know what to do with her.

 

Mom to 2 beautiful girls, 3 yrs and 22 months old. My 2nd was born at 32 weeks due to Rhogam failure/severe complications from Rh disease and is our miracle. She has bilateral auditory neuropathy and a cochlear implant, activated 4/5/2012 at 19 months. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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Re: hard not to compare

  • lgmom2010lgmom2010
    I know how you feel...I feel the same way about some things with my DD...like when is she going to be interested in any of the toys we have or grab onto something??? She just now started to focus on things in front of her and follow them. So I don't think it will be long. She hates tummy time too, so I get worried about that. But I just try to remind myself that she will do everything she's supposed to when she's ready, and every baby is different and just to enjoy this time with her bc she is growing really fast! Just keep talking/smiling/singing/reading to your DD and putting things in front of her to look at. She will be engaged soon enough :) I think at your DDs age she is still taking in all of her surroundings as her sight might be getting better...soon she will start exploring with her hands/mouth...my DD just discovered her tongue lol ..I think it's so hard for us preemie moms bc our babies grow outside of us for part of their gestation, so it just seems like things take much longer to happen with them.
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  • BabyBebe1BabyBebe1
    I found the same thing with my DS. He was only born 4 weeks early, but spent 2 weeks in the NICU due to other health issues. For me, I just didn't understand why he would be delayed at all when he was just a week short of full term. But, he was. He really was even further than 4 weeks behind in comparison to his peers. I had a baby-baby for about 6 months - even at that point he would fall asleep during music class which was so weird to the other Moms. He didn't hold his head up completely until 3 or 4 months, sit on his own until 7 months, and crawled at 9 months. But I'll tell you what's funny...over the past 3 months, it's like he's completely caught up. He now is on the verge of walking - cruises everywhere and can take about 4 or 5 unassisted steps from place to place. So I guess my thought for you is just that in my experience they do catch up, and it'll just happen one day. 
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  • craziheazocraziheazo

    I totally understand. My 38 weeker has always done things a little early or right on time. So it has been a major adjustment to me that my 33 weeker hasn't followed suit.  My girls are only 13 months apart, so I literally compare everything by seasons. "Maya was walking at just beginning to sit unassisted at Easter last year and Bella can't even hold her head very well". 

    I will say that Bella (my preemie) was everything late even based on her adjusted age until she was 7 months adjusted. Since then, she has just taken off. She started army crawling at 6 months adjusted and now crawls on all 4's and cruises as much as possible. She can stand unassisted for short periods of time, but she is afraid to do so. She is caught up completely in motor skills but is still slightly behind in speech. I think that she will be caught up soon (just started babbling and saying mama and dada in the past month) but we are doing a referral to EI just in case.

     Sorry that I have babbled, but I think that it is just human nature to compare your kids. It is human nature. It is amazing how they just seem to get all caught up at once though (in many situations). I hope that is true in your case!!

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