Anybody's DH/DBF still on the fence?

ButterscotchCupcake · November 2010

My DH is an only child and has a difficult relationship with his mother. He's really never been around kids and he's terrified.

That being said, he supports me and is excited, just terrified. Anybody else in this boat?

reinstone · November 2010

I think everyone is a little scared, especially if this is their first. I know we're both nervous but excited too!

meganruns · November 2010

My DH was (and probably still is) terrified. Heck, I am too. But before we started TTC, we had lots of long talks about finances, career plans, vacations, etc... just to make sure we knew what we were getting into with a baby.

I would suggest talking it out with him, see what it is he's scared about. It's a life altering event, obviously, so it's easy to understand where he's coming from. good luck!

Jackson721 · November 2010

MH was when I was pregnant with our son. Although he had been around babies (niece and nephew), he had never really taken care of one. He really had to step up after I had the baby because I had an emergency c-section and had a hard time getting around. I think we TTC #2 he is much more laid back because he knows what to expect.

ButterscotchCupcake · November 2010

Me too! We're just starting to learn about the whole process, IE reading fertility books, etc. We both decided that it was time for me to stop the pill and see how my system regulates. So it'll be soon-ish, I hope.

I'm just wondering when he'll be ready to take the plunge and actually start trying!

GrneyedItalian · November 2010

I'm sure everyone is a little frightened with their first. For me I can't wait and I am so excited, The moment I see that BFP I will be thrilled but also a little panicked. HAHA

pinksweetpea2 · November 2010

My DH was terrified beforehand and then in shock for the first few months. LOL I swear I wanted to belt him every time he told someone that "it is a lot harder than I expected" when people asked how we were doing.

He is a terrific father and Lily and him have an amazing relationship. He actually approached me this fall saying that he wanted to move up TTC (we were planning on next year) because he was ready for another baby.

ButterscotchCupcake · November 2010

So funny, we did the talk about finances and planning ages ago. That was the "easy" part. He's fine with planning for it by way of budgeting, sick time, finding the best school district, etc. It's more the thought of actually HAVING a baby that he's stuck on. It's like he doesn't understand the concept of 9 months either. He's like, we won't be ready for a year...well...yeah...it'll take that long!!! haha

bjbrock · November 2010

my Dh would prefer to not have more. He's from a huge family (10 kids) and never liked it so he wants our DD to be an only child. But we talked extensively about it and he's basically left it up to me and will be ok either way. I want 1 more so we are currently not preventing but not actively TTC either. He is a WONDERFUL daddy and I know he will do just fine with another one or else I wouldn't do it.

Phoebe623 · November 2010

reinstone:
I think everyone is a little scared, especially if this is their first. I know we're both nervous but excited too!

I agree with this!

It is expensive to have a child and it also is a lot of responsibility, who wouldn't be a little bit scared?

ButterscotchCupcake · November 2010

BJBrock your daughter is absolutely stunning. Adorable. Hope we're all so lucky!

psychgirl33 · November 2010

My fiance wants to have a baby and was actually the one to say "why do we HAVE to wait till the wedding to start trying?" We have talked about it and are both very certain that we want a baby, but we are also a little nervous. We both love children, but watching other people's kids is a little different than having your own. More than anything we are antsy and excited!

bjbrock · November 2010

ButterscotchCupcake:
BJBrock your daughter is absolutely stunning. Adorable. Hope we're all so lucky!

aw thanks Smile . I think so too but of course, I'm a tad biased

Ella85 · November 2010

No I waited until MH was fully ready and commited to start TTC.

But we are still both nervous and excited!

melissa721 · November 2010

reinstone:
I think everyone is a little scared, especially if this is their first. I know we're both nervous but excited too!

Yes

If MH really was on the fence we wouldn't be actively TTC.

Mrs.Slick · November 2010

melissa721:

reinstone:
I think everyone is a little scared, especially if this is their first. I know we're both nervous but excited too!

If MH really was on the fence we wouldn't be actively TTC.

This.

Beckypooh09 · November 2010

pinksweetpea2:
My DH was terrified beforehand and then in shock for the first few months. LOL I swear I wanted to belt him every time he told someone that "it is a lot harder than I expected" when people asked how we were doing.
He is a terrific father and Lily and him have an amazing relationship. He actually approached me this fall saying that he wanted to move up TTC (we were planning on next year) because he was ready for another baby.

This!!!

This is why we are TTC now. We were going to wait another year but my DH is excited and wanted to start trying sooner. The first few months of pregnancy was kind of a "taking it all in" time for both of us. Just remember to communicate and I'm sure you'll be just fine!

Good luck!

Beckypooh09 · November 2010

Beckypooh09:
pinksweetpea2:
My DH was terrified beforehand and then in shock for the first few months. LOL I swear I wanted to belt him every time he told someone that "it is a lot harder than I expected" when people asked how we were doing.
He is a terrific father and Lily and him have an amazing relationship. He actually approached me this fall saying that he wanted to move up TTC (we were planning on next year) because he was ready for another baby.
This!!!
This is why we are TTC now. We were going to wait another year but my DH is excited and wanted to start trying sooner. The first few months of pregnancy was kind of a "taking it all in" time for both of us. Just remember to communicate and I'm sure you'll be just fine!
Good luck!
*added*
Just realized on never answered your question about being on the fence. TTC our first was his idea and of course I was more then happy to start! He didn't start getting nervous about the whole situation till after I got pregnant but I think that's normal.

psychgirl33 · November 2010

Beckypooh09:
He didn't start getting nervous about the whole situation till after I got pregnant but I think that's normal.

This is what I expect will happen with my fiance. He's totally psyched now, but I bet he'll start to worry when we finally get KU!

Edit: Beckypooh09: I meant to say that your son is SUPER adorable!!

michaela080 · November 2010

My DH was the one to bring up TTC but I never thought he would. He did have a bit of a break down during the 1st month trying when I said something about a friend having to go back to work after 6 weeks. But he got over it.

macdidlyicious · November 2010

Ditto on not actively TTC if my H was on the fence.

We're nervous obviously; I'd be worried if we weren't. DH hasnt been around little kids much at all so he felt like he wouldnt know how to interact with one. I'm a nanny for a 2 yea old boy and H comes over for lunch pretty often since he works only a few minutes away. Its so great watching the two of them interact! They're best buds and the little guy asks about my H all the time. I'm amazed at how awesome H knows exactly how to talk to and play with him. I really cant wait to see him as a dad. He's going to rock it.

Beckypooh09 · November 2010

psychgirl33:
This is what I expect will happen with my fiance. He's totally psyched now, but I bet he'll start to worry when we finally get KU!
Edit: Beckypooh09: I meant to say that your son is SUPER adorable!!

Thanks!

A-D · November 2010

DH is more prepared/excited than I am. I'm scared I'll be a terrible mother, but the more/longer we try, the more excited and prepared I get.

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