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1st Trimester
Am I crazy?
We just announced our pregnancy this week to our families. It's very early (5 weeks) but almost everyone knew anyway that we were seeking fertility treatment and were doing our first in vitro cycle.
Obviously, seeking expensive medical treatment in order to conceive comes after a lot of painful cycles of BFN after BFN (in our case three years). When we finally saw the doctor and did our intial tests, I was diagnosed with low ovarian reserve and was told to go forward quickly with IVF because if we waited there was a chance that we would likely need an egg donor.
So we went ahead.
I called my future sister in law (DH's brother's girlfriend) to tell her the news and suddenly remembered her upcoming wedding would be right around the time I was due. They live a three hours drive away and so likely I wouldn't be able to attend the wedding. On the phone she said 'Didn't you think about our wedding? Didn't you realize?'. I was shocked.
DH called his brother and they are basically mad at us for not waiting another month for IVF. We just did what the doctor was advising. The thing is, if we had waiting another month, DH's other brother is getting married six weeks after them, so then we'd have to wait until after theirs, and in the meatime my doctor is telling me to move forward quickly
Am I crazy or is this completely abnormal behavior to get mad at us for not waiting because of their wedding?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Am I crazy?
After three years of trying, I would have done the same thing as you and just went for it. I mean, if you waited for every little thing and said "maybe next month we will try" then it could have taken you years longer! It might be disappointing for them that you won't be at the wedding, but you have been wanting and trying for so long that I don't think it is selfish at all.
And congrats!!!!!!!!
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
This...Since they are your relatives I am sure 1. they know what you went through, I'd explain to them if they didn't know and 2. they will come around.
No. When it comes to TTC you don't know what's going to happen. You generally don't try and schedule it around other people's lives because there will always be another reason to wait. Congratulations on your pregnancy!
When I tell my family I know there will probably be some resistance too. I'm due August 6th and my brother's wedding is July 23rd. It's a 4 hour flight so there's no way I could fly that late in my pregnancy. If he moved it up a few weeks I'll be able to attend, or if they move it back a few weeks I'd be more than willing to travel with a NB. But realistically, you can't schedule your life around someone else's and I don't expect my brother to reschedule his wedding because of me.
She's being completely unreasonable. You cannot plan creating YOUR family around other people. DH's sister couldn't come to our wedding because she was almost due. We never thought twice about it and it doesn't mean she wasn't happy for us or loved us any less! Life happens! She'll get over it, I wouldn't worry about it.
Congrats to you!!
Our family blog
Are you crazy?? NO
Are they?? YES
Congrats and don't let them bother you!
F*ck that bridezilla b*tchface. Tell her to STFU, of course you didn't plan your lives around HER! She has a 50/50 chance of divorce and now you know which side you'll be rooting for
Seriously though, you had no idea that this was the cycle that was going to work - out of 3 years of trying! No one can plan when they're going to get pregnant, and who knows? What if you had waited another cycle or two and then it was too late. Would it have been worth sacrificing your family so she can get her pretty pretty princess day?? Of course not!
If they can't be happy for you, then f*ck her and your BIL
Congratulations! Enjoy your pregnancy
I'd tell her to take a hike. You did what you needed to do to have a child. If she is that selfish, then she is the one with issues.
I predict a bridezilla.
1. They are crazy.
2. You are not crazy
3. CONGRATS!!!!!!
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
I love it
. Well said.
Susan & Mark ... Married June 14, 2008 ... Chicago Area
James Tomasz born 1-5-10
Grace Dorothy born 7-13-11
PROJECT BALANCING ACT: BIO and BLOG- yeah... needs to be updated.
You are not crazy!!! No way! don't let her get you down. I had TTTC as well and am very lucky that IUI #2 took - we were moving to IVF if this didn't work and will if for some reason this one doesn't stick.
We haven't told families yet, we're waiting until Christmas, when I'll be about 8 weeks. I'm due around 8/2. My bff (like we're closer than my sister and I are; she was my MOH) is getting married 8/27 in Chicago, I'm in California. She told me not to stop treatment even though it meant I might miss her wedding. and I struggled about whether to skip this cycle or not - Im of course glad I didn't b/c it worked. I'll see her in a month and will tell her in person. In a perfect world I'll deliver a week early or on time and we'll fly to Chicago w/ a NB, along w/ my parents and sister so there will be lots of help. And she's open to me having a baby at her wedding. But we both know sometimes babies have a mind of there own and I'll deliver late - and if that's the case, DH will go with my folks and I'll be sad, but I"ll be holding my newborn and will be okay.
They are seriously selfish @ssholes. It's ridiculous for them to expect that you run your life around their pretty princess day. Do not feel bad about not attending and if they don't change their tune soon I'd skip sending a gift as well
Congratulations on your BFP!