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SIL vent

crt0323crt0323 member
in Trying to Get Pregnant

While having lunch on Thanksgiving with our family, my SIL decides to express her thoughts on DH and I having children. She is expecting her first DS spring 2011. Although DH and I haven't come out and told our families we are trying, I think they are suspecting and expecting it! Anyway, my SIL goes on and on and on about how everyone needs to take plenty of time to build a foundation for their marriage. DH and I have been married a little over a year. She has been married for almost 8 years. She kept implying that DH and I haven't been married long enough to think about trying to have children and blah, blah, blah. I certainly hope she doesn't think we are going to wait 8 years. First of all, I didn't ask for her opinion. Secondly, she hasn't been told that we are in fact actively TTC. And third, it's really none of her business if, when, and how we TTC. She was just way out of line. Okay, vent over!

Me- 26 DH-32
TTC since August 2010
Unexplained Infertility
5 rounds of clomid and 4 rounds of tamoxifen = BFN
IUI #1 - Jan 2012 with Tamoxifen - BFN IUI #2 - Feb 2012 Cancelled :(
IVF #1- May 2012: BFP on 05/29/12!! 06/01 Beta #1= 122 06/04 Beta #2 74 :( - C/P
06/07/12 = BFN Moving onto IVF #2 August 2012
22 retrieved, 13 fertilized, none to freeze
Transferred two embies on 08/19. Beta 1 is 08/31 Beta #1-122 Beta #2- 541
1st U/S 09/12- 1 sac!
Praying this is my take home baby!
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Re: SIL vent

  • ecm401ecm401

    Wow, sorry you had to sit through all of that. I would have been VERY irritated! You are right, it is not her business to imply to ANYONE when they are ready to have children. Different people are in different stages in life at different times.

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  • tnas1tnas1
    That sucks, i'm sorry! I've been in a few situations like that where people insinuate that we shouldn't TTC yet. So annoying!!!
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  • christy619christy619 member

    Totally annoying. My SIL flat out asked: Christy, when is your baby coming?  at the dinner table on Thanksgiving in front of everyone.  Gotta love those well-meaning SILs. Right....

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  • KD+BCKD+BC member

    I'm so sorry you had to sit through that. Something similar happened to me a couple weeks ago. My cousin got married this past July and his wife announced that she is pregnant in October. My aunt and dad were discussing in front of me how dumb they thought it was to get pregnant so soon into a marriage. They were saying that they thought my cousin and his wife, and all couples, needed time to be married together before having a baby.

    MH and I got married in October and we're already TTC. I guess I understand what my dad and aunt were saying but MH and I have been living together for 3 years and really nothing has changed since we got married. We have a really solid marriage and have for years without the piece of official paper. 

    I think that there are some marriages that do need that time and maybe your SIL and her DH needed those 8 years. This does not mean that you and your DH need that time. I had a few moments of weakness thinking that maybe MH and I should wait a couple years to TTC but MH reminded me that we waited to get married until we were ready to have kids. 

    Not all marriages fit into the same timeline. Try not to let your SIL get to you. She probably just doesn't want you stealing her new mommy thunder. 

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  • picklesxpicklesx member
    imageKD+BC:

    I'm so sorry you had to sit through that. Something similar happened to me a couple weeks ago. My cousin got married this past July and his wife announced that she is pregnant in October. My aunt and dad were discussing in front of me how dumb they thought it was to get pregnant so soon into a marriage. They were saying that they thought my cousin and his wife, and all couples, needed time to be married together before having a baby.

    MH and I got married in October and we're already TTC. I guess I understand what my dad and aunt were saying but MH and I have been living together for 3 years and really nothing has changed since we got married. We have a really solid marriage and have for years without the piece of official paper. 

    I think that there are some marriages that do need that time and maybe your SIL and her DH needed those 8 years. This does not mean that you and your DH need that time. I had a few moments of weakness thinking that maybe MH and I should wait a couple years to TTC but MH reminded me that we waited to get married until we were ready to have kids. 

    Not all marriages fit into the same timeline. Try not to let your SIL get to you. She probably just doesn't want you stealing her new mommy thunder. 

    Yes

     

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