3rd Trimester

Older child in the Delivery RM? (long)

DS is 6 yrs old, and has asked to be in the Delivery room when baby is born. We are planning on a waterbirth, so if things go as plannned (and I know that they don't always,) my bottom will be under water. We have showed him some birthing videos (nothing overly graphic,) and he doesn't seem uncomfortable with it. I've spoken with his Ped, who like my MW, says that he's had many of his patients be at their younger siblings births and hasn't encountered problems as long as the sibling is prepared and has a support person.Our MW says that she has had several siblings in the room during delivery and has never had a problem. She said that if we do decide to have DS in the room, he would have to have a special person that was there just for him (most likely my mom). This person would be his support person, that he is comfortable with and trusts. This person would have to be willing to leave the room if he began to feel uncomfortable. He would also have to take a class offered through the hospital about what to expect.

DH and I are still torn on what to do. What are your thoughts?

Re: Older child in the Delivery RM? (long)

  • I say no.

    Honestly I think it could traumatize him and you guys are going to be way to busy to take care of him. What if things take a bad turn and things get scary and people start getting frantic. He won't have anyone there to comfort him.

    My 5 year old nephews both want to be in the room, they have no idea what all it entails. I'd just let him come in as soon as the baby is born.

     

     

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  • I witnessed the birth of my little sister at 15. I think I was pretty traumatized from the whole ordeal. I do not think its a good idea for a 6yr old.

  • I think it's really cute that he asked :). I've seen this discussed here before, and while a lot of people go 'ewww', I know there are some women on here who were there for the birth of their own siblings. I think it's a great idea to have your mom or someone else there to take care of just him, and to take him out if seeing you in pain is stressful for him. Otherwise I bet he will be very excited to be there for the new baby!
  • My son is 8 and has asked me several times to be in the room. I lied and told him that they don't allow children in the room at my hospital. He asks every week. I'm just not comfortable. I was in the room when my sister was born and I was 16 it was a bit much.
  • If he wants to be there, I would let him.  I think it is wrong to force a child to be there who doesn't want to be there.  I was present for two of my siblings births.  One was a home birth and I didn't have much of a choice.  The second I asked my mom if I could be there and she said yes.  I still think it was pretty cool that I was able to be there when my lil brother was born.  I was 8, so a little older than your DS.  I honestly think it was more about feeling that I was a part of them moment than watching the down stairs part of it.  I took a look at it once and decided that wasn't a good idea. 
  • That being said, If my hubby didn't care and I didn't care I would do it. I'm just too freaked out to do it.

  • Thank you all for your responses! It seems that the board might be just as torn as DH and I are!
  • I think it would be an amazing experience IF he's mature and prepared. You know him better than anyone else. You might try showing him a youtube video and see if he's still interested after that. He might be totally cool with it.
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  • Never would I consider that.  Watching his sibling's birth is completely out of his developmental scope.
  • I saw my brother's birth when I was 10 and it was a really amazing experience.  I would let him if you and DH are comfortable.
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  • I've seen this on a Baby Story several times and honestly I am against it.  I think it is traumatizing sometimes for adults let alone little kids who won't completely understand what's happening to their mommy.

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