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Natural Birth
At Home Birth
I'm due with our first late June/early July.
My OB would like me to get through the first trimester before deciding for sure if I want to do a home birth. He is VERY against it. I've read bits here and there on the pros and cons to home or hospital or birthing center.
I've also read on the different interventions used and do not want any of them, no matter how low of a pain threshold I have. (lol) My OB promised me that if I didn't want any interventions, I wouldn't get any. Which I only 1/2 heartedly believe. I mean if I'm not laboring fast enough, they'll send me home or give me pitocin. I'm afraid that if in the midst of it all I won't be strong enough to say "no" at a hospital and I'll feel guilted into it. I don't think that will happen at home (or at the local birthing center). And since this is the first, I'm a little leery with all options at this point.
DH says to do what I feel is best, even though he isn't sold on the idea of a home birth, but sometimes I don't even know if I know what's best....
I've also read that if it's your first, you should do a hospital birth just because you have no idea what to expect.
Any idea/help/suggestions/etc would be awesome and greatly appreciated!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: At Home Birth
Hi.... Do you mind if I ask where you live? I live in New Jersey and have found the most amazing team of midwives.... I suppose it doesn't matter where you live- you can find a great team to work with.
I am going to be a first time mom in about three weeks and I am still really scared of the WHOLE process- but, I have chosen to have a home birth. Of course, Plan B is the hospital but I just feel that I will be so much more relaxed/comfortable at home. I am not sure where to start with what to tell you---- A lot of people have posted really positive stories on here and I am drawing strength from that.
I, too, do not want the interventions that too often come with a hospital birth. I think the national c-section rate right now is close to 50%. My midwife team rate was 11% for last year and 9% the year before. I am really worried about pain control options available at home but have to tell you that I am convinced that just being in my home environment will have me in such a different state of mind than going to the hospital. In my mind, the flourescent lights, the impersonal attention.... I just could not imagine doing this without the support of my midwives. Please do yourself a huge favor and at least meet with a midwife. Your appointment will be super extensive- usually an hour to 90 mins. long. A typical appointment with a reg. doctor would be maybe 10-15 mins. at best. Midwives discuss your nutrition, your state of mind- they ask everything. I leave feeling so well cared for.
I am not currently supported by my half of the family and I know that my fiancee's family is worried too- but supportive nonetheless. You have to be a 'good' candidate for a home birth and luckily I have been. Good blood pressure the whole way through. Good weight gain- not too much or too little. Baby is in the right position so far that we know. I literally never had any morning sickness (though that is not a qualifier for home birth....
I have just basically had non stop anxiety about giving birth and going to the hospital. I was in my third month when I came to the idea that I might want a home birth and within a few weeks of deciding came to the decision that it was the right idea for me.
Definitely pick up a copy of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It is a bit hippy-esque and at times perhaps difficult to apply to modern life- but overall I think you will find it an invaluable resource. Very empowering.
Keep in mind- I have still not done this! I will have to let you know how it goes as it is truly right around the corner. I hope for the best and despite really educating myself I am still nervous and wish I was stronger in my conviction to have a home birth. Guess it is just fear of the unknown.
I truly wish you all the best!
Does your OB do homebirths? If you want a homebirth why are you going to a OB instead of just calling a midwife? I called my midwife 5 minutes after I peed on the stick to lock in my EDD. She knew before my hubby since he was at work. LOL
I had a hospital birth for my dd and wish I wouldve done a homebirth for her. Pretty much we were broke and I was also scared. But knowing what I know now, I wouldve FOUND a way to pay for the homebirth and ditched the OB who cut an episiotomy with me SCREAMING at her not to.
I view birth as a huge rite of passage that's inportant to experience. For me, it was transformative. Homebirthing is just a beautiful experience.
Most OBs are going to be against home birth. Ultimately, it's your decision and transferring care during pregnancy is not unusual. Earlier is better though, as midwives can book up fast.
I would recommend the following:
-Watch The Business of Being Born with your DH. It changed my husband's mind, that's for sure.
-Look into the options for your area. Are home births allowed? Who are the likely providers? Interview them, most offer a free initial consult. Would you feel totally comfortable with them providing your care?
-Look at the finances. Does your insurance pay for it? If not, is it something you can afford out of pocket? Is there a birth center option that would be covered but offer lower intervention rates?
We looked into the pros and cons of all the options and decided on a home birth. We are having our first. Let me know if you have any other questions!
It sounds like you don't trust your OB, which is a big red flag. Even if you decide to have a hospital birth, you might want to look into switching care providers. Hopefully you can find someone that you trust and who will be more on the same page as you.
I don't agree that you need to have your first at home because you don't know what to expect. In fact, because first time mothers are more likely to go past their EDD, have longer labors, and have a longer time pushing the baby out, they may in fact be better off at home, where they will be less likely to get pushed into an induction or cesarean for those things.
If you or your husband aren't totally comfortable with home birth, what about the birth center? That might be a good middle ground for you guys. Ultimately I don't think there is one right decision. There is just whatever you feel most comfortable with, and no one can decide that for you.
GL!
I suggest you meet with one or two (or more) homebirth MW and then see how you feel. For my DH all he had to do was meet our MW and have her address all our concerns and answer all our questions. That took about an hour and then we knew that was the route for us.
You can't know until you talk to the right professional- your OB can only offer a limited (and most likely ignorant) perspective on homebirths.
GL
Interviewing MWs, yes. There is a big political crevasse between the ACOG (OB's) and the certified/registered midwifery community (from what I've seen, nurse midwives are somewhere in-between). It's not fun, but it's the world we live in. Politics aside, imagine going to a surgeon for a sore back... will you be surprised if he suggests surgery?
As mentioned, where you live may make a big difference, as laws are very different (just ask the Georgia ladies). Takes some research for sure, but this board may be a good source for you if you provide some geographic details (or try your local board).
TBOBB, also yes..There are tons of books to read, but this short movie helped reinforce our decision to plan a home birth. For me, it helped me visualize a home birth... it became a real option and not an idea. Lots of folks here say it was a turning point for their SOs, too.
Getting buy-in from your family.... hmmmm. For us, this was our decision (i.e., did you contribute at conception? if not, you don't get a vote). We felt confident in our plan and do not seek approval from others. That's not to say we don't appreciate support; but we weed out negative energy and keep it out... even if that's my own mother.
GL!
Thanks to everyone and all the input! It's been super helpful!
I'm in the Milwaukee area here in Wisconsin... I've done a little bit of searching for this area and I haven't found many MW around. Like I said there is a birthing center in the area, that I will check into, because I know they have a list of MWs that they usually work with (but are open to others as well). I'll probably start there. I still have to look into my insurance to see if it will cover anything other than hospital... =/