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Preparing Mentally

jessica102706jessica102706
in Trying to Get Pregnant

My husband and I just started TTC. He said he is not enjoying it and it is really difficult for him. He WANTS to have a baby but he doesnt want that to be on his mind while we are actually having sex. He says that he keeps thinking about it and it kills the mood for him. Thinking about babies is not really a turn-on. I dont want this to be "work" for him - I want us to enjoy it.

Did anyone else have this problem? How did you get past it? We dont talk about what we are attempting to do - like I dont say "Lets go make a baby now". I try to make it seem like nothing is different than before but he said he still keeps thinking about what he is doing and what may be happening.

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Re: Preparing Mentally

  • Country Girl in the CityCountry Girl in the City
    I have tried to crank up the sexiness factor (there was one small bedroom fire so be careful).  I have also reminded him that sometimes sex is just sex and sometimes it is babymaking sex.  He doesn't know which is which until after so it does not stress him out.
    BFP on IVF #2 6/29/2012. Beta #1 7/3 = 522; Beta #2 = 1180; Beta #3 = 6491 image BabyFruit Ticker
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  • quietvoicequietvoice member
    I don't have any big words of wisdom, just waving hello from Plano.  =)
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  • ReneeRNReneeRN member
    We had this problem when we first started trying, we even thought something may be wrong w/my DH. He had his labs drawn and everything cam back normal...he is fine now, but I think maybe it was a shock at first. Good Luck!
    photo b5880bbf-17e0-491c-8d1e-181ee8707670_zps6b0bf0b5.jpg Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    My BFP Chart
    Aug 19, 2010 ParaGuard IUD Removed
    Sept 7, 2010 Dx w/Hypothyroidism (TSH 6.7) Began taking Levothyroxine
    Feb 15, 2010 BFP with #1
    Nov 1, 2011 DD1 Born
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  • megd06megd06 member
    we had this problem, so after 5 cycles of charting I gave up the temping so that we could start having sex "for fun" again, as H put it. It's definitely helped with the stress, and made sex fun again, but still trying.
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  • A-DA-D

    I've never had this problem - DH seems to be happy with his 'manly duty' of being a sperm donor. He's weird. I'm more the one with the issues BD'ing and knowing "OMG, this could be it".

    I wish you guys the best of luck ... and maybe suggest you loosen him up with a massage or a beer... or knock his socks off with some sexy lil' number and some heels? Hopefully he'll be too distracted (read: blood flow will be detered) to think about it.

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  • brandy4nicolebrandy4nicole member

    Hi, i'm in Denton, too!  My DH has the same problem sometimes, I think it's just something they have to overcome in their own mind, by focusing only on the sex during it.  If he is thinking about babymaking during, it will kill the mood for him.  He just needs to focus on the sights and sensations.  You can help by minimizing baby/TTC talk before/during, and just upping the sexiness factor, as someone said in another reply.  Get out the lingerie, toys, candles, movies, whatever you guys like, and just have fun.  That will help him get more into the sex mindset.  GL to you guys!

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  • jessica102706jessica102706
    Brandy - your in Dentont?! Who is your OBGYN? I am new to the area and havent found a doctor yet. I would prefer one that delivers at Denton Pres or Denton Reg. I have heard some horror stories so I want a good recommendation.
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